I don't know what to do.
My girlfriend is really into art and so she decided to modeling pics in the nude and post them on a gallery online. She got so many comments on how good her photos were and she spent hours upon hours setting up and doing poses. Recently a man sent her a perverted note online about her pics. Later when she told her friend that she'd gotten over 100,000 views, her friend told her that probably 75% of them j**ked off to them anyways". My gf called me up crying saying that she wouldn't do pics anymore, because it was her body and her art and no one was respecting it. How do I make her feel better?
The best way for her to feel better is for her to be liberated completely from the nude modeling business. Let her find a better alternative to this "junk" job of hers. Make her understand your love and care for her including her body. Don't allow her dignity as a woman to be compromised again. Thank You.
Perhaps the lesson here is not to post nude photos online because you're not controlling the audience. Any old guy can login in sad to say, and do what her friend has said. The friend is probably right, unfortunately, in saying that many are not likely to be respecting her artistic integrity. But let your girlfriend think about it and reach the best conclusion herself, don't push her, but suggest it'd be better if she removed the photos and just saved them on a flashdrive or harddrive.
Maybe later you could approach a commercial printer and do a book of nudes or something, if this is important to her - that way you are more likely to be able to have control over who watches them. And thus more likely to have people appreciating artistic integrity rather than using them to, you know.
That's a tough one--partly because it depends a LOT on your girlfriend's specific personality. A few possibilities (if you try 'em, go easy, see if they seem to be getting the response you want--and back off fast if they don't):
1. Honey, guys will be guys, so maybe they did j**k off. Guys do realy do that, but,
2. Babe, do you realize how few females have both the body and the ESSENCE shining through to get over 100,000 views, even in the nude? You are SOMETHING! And I mean that in a GOOD way.
3. Some of the finest art in the world never got any respect during the life of the artist. Check out Van Gogh--and, sweetheart, you've still got both ears! (Or a message to that effect; be careful here.)
4. Love, if you don't want to do pics any more, I understand that. You KNOW I'll ALWAYS have your back, whatever you decide. People really can be jerks.
5. Hon, there really are a lot of sex perverts out there. The super-bad kind, you know? If you ever do want to do any more pics (and I'm NOT saying you should), then we need to figure out a way the pervs can't reach you with their twisted comments.
6. Girl, your friend's comment reminds me of Edward Land, the guy who invented the Polaroid camera. He always said he avoided negative people, 'cause 1 negative comment could kill a good idea. Not saying your homie is negative, but maybe she's--a little envious, maybe? Whaddya think? Am I off base here, or....?
Most importantly, she wants to be HEARD but may NOT want to have you solve her PROBLEM.
Hope this helps.
Tell her her pictures are great (in an artistic way), her friend is just jealous, and some guys are perverts that don't now how to appreciate art in the first place. It probably won't make her feel all the way better, but it should help some. Plus a sincere "I love you no matter what."
She's really upset? If a man is deliberately looking for nude scenes online, probably more like 99% of them--well, you get the idea. If it makes her feel any better, the majority of them are probably not living in the US. Just remind her that hundreds of famous celebrities have done nude scenes in movies. They are artists in their own rite and if some men consider the scenes to be sexual, then that's a few people's opinions. We all love art and we love artists, but sometimes artists need to realize that the majority of people do not understand intermedia or postmodern art.
I guess what I would want to know from her is what does it mean to her if no one ever respected her? Is it possible that she feels like she disrespected herself and the thought that it is being acted on is tapping into that?
If my happiness is affected by anything anyone else says or does, then I am a prisoner. If I'm upset that my choice to post nude pictures is being viewed and possibly admired inappropriately, then what am I really upset about? The possibility of not being seen or loved in a way that I believe I need to be to feel ok. Everyone gets to make their choices - even if those choices don't make me happy. The personal response to their choice or possibility of their choice is information that there is an opportunity for personal growth.
As her boyfriend, you have an amazing opportunity to not "fix" or make her feel better. You can help her see what she is believing in order for her to not have to walk around another minute being vulnerable to the lie that she isn't respected unless things look a certain way. My experience is that I'm always upset about what my fear is- in other words, if I'm not respecting myself, then someone else disrespecting me is intolerable to me. Projection is what it's called- She is innocent and lovable no matter what she did, does or ever will do....
Can't believe you are still going on and on about this. What is it? The 5th post about this same thing? You just want attention. You really need to grow up.
I'd say she was incredibly naive to think otherwise, and I'm surprised that out of 100k views she's only gotten one perverted email.
It's a cold heart truth of men that we like nude women. I mean it's literally everywhere you look dating back thousands of years. All I can say is brush it off. Out of 100k views, 1,000 of them probably legitimately appreciated the art of it. The other 99,000 were surfing for nudity. If it's any consolation, I doubt many (less than 500) actually phsyically pleasured themselves to it. There's plenty more pornographic content out there for those purposes. Turn off google's safe search feature and type in sex. Don't click on any of them as most of them are full of viruses and harmful cookies, but you'll get an idea. About 50% of the internet is porn.
My sister's an artist and she puts her art on art dedicated websites (I think the one she usually goes to is called deviantart.com, but it's not porn or really deviant). I think it requires a login to browse and you can set privacy filters on it. It's not surfed by porn searchers (that I know of), so more art centric people will see it.
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