I'm an attractive, intelligent married woman (38 years) who is almost 58. I'm between jobs. Have...
a bachelors degree and would like to go for my masters to do marriage and family counseling. My self esteem is draining like a slow sink. I asked my husband, who is several years older, what he could see me doing for a job. He responded, "I could see you as a hostess at McDonalds." You'd be great, with your fussing and decorating." I owned my own company for several years, have successful married children, and this is my future. Lost at 57.
First you have to keep in mind that most men, even at 60+ years old never grow beyond the emotional equivalent of a 12 year old boy. Though they're not really allowed to pull your hair or chase you around the playground anymore, they find other ways to be childish. Don't take his snide comments seriously and keep your self esteem intact.
My grandmother used to say: "you can be married to a man for 50 yrs, wake up one morning and say 'Good Morning, stranger'.
After 38 years, why are you listening to him? They don't have hostesses at McDonald's. That right there should have clued you in to disregard the rest of what was going to come out of his mouth. Self-esteem belongs to you, you never let anyone take it away from you, it is your power and you never let go of that.
Lost? You're not lost you need to get busy doing something, do something fun, change your hairdo, change your hair color, change your nail polish, paint your toenails hot fuschia or orange. Call some of your gal pals and go to lunch someplace you have never been before. Start shopping around for where to take your MS courses. Plan a cruise vacation, maybe "Bob" (your husband) needs to get out of the house so he can see there are no hostesses at MickeyDees!
Lost? I would say that first, ask yourself what you really wanna do with your life. You always have a choice who you wanted to be. We sometimes came to a point where we think that no matter how successful we are, still that is not enough, that there's still something instored for us. And there really is.. to find that, we have to begin knowing ourselves first then start from there.
May be, just may be you should consider separating from a man who is clearly in contempt of his wife's abilities. You are mother of his children, you are a person. You are not lost at 57. It's just life should be different now. Your children are all grown up. You are free now from small responsibilities, you can get away and start all over if necessary. It's your life. It's never too late to do what you like to do and to be loved for that. People who were closest to me put me down a lot, including my husband. And now I am his sole support. Life is stranger than any fiction. Live it and love it. Life is too short to be unhappy. And love yourself too. You are unique human being.
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