What strategy works best with malicious rumours-confrontation or avoidance?

1. 61

   karowakiposted 14 years ago

   What strategy works best with malicious rumours-confrontation or avoidance?
   
   The one situation that seriously destabilises a reputation professionally and personally are rumours-without a grain of truth in them. Given the fact that they spread rapidly and without a single source;how does one control it?

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2. 60

   kirstenoposted 14 years ago

   I don't know which works best, but I can stand to sit and avoid, so I *always* confront.  Of course, I'm a basically blunt honest person.  I used to sit back and let people run all over me, but decided that I didn't need the heartache anymore, so now I confront.  It usually works out pretty well for me in the end.

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3. 74

   tritrainposted 14 years ago

   Admit to the truth, for what it is worth.
   
   It derails the intention of the rumor-spreader and gives a sense of honesty to the victim.
   
   It also makes the those that have helped to spread it look like jerks.

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4. 60

   lovelife08posted 14 years ago

   Once rumors get started there really isn't a way to stop them.  The best you can do is answer people's questions honestly, and whether or not they believe you is their problem.  If they don't bother to ask you personally and choose to believe what everyone else is saying, just ignore them and go on with your life.  As long as the rumors don't affect whether or not you'll have a job/healthy marriage/etc the next day, don't let them worry you.

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5. 59

   michelemacwritesposted 14 years ago

   I believe that the best way to deal with malicious rumours is direct confrontation.  If you are in the right, sometimes you need to stand up and defend yourself.  When you expose the malice and hatefulness, not only does it clear your name but others may think twice when starting their gossip mongering.

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6. 0

   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   You don't control it let it work its way around, sooner than later the truth will surface and whoever started the rumor will be the brunt of their own joke.  It doesn't matter what you say to "clean" it up people will believe what they want to believe.  Only focus on convincing the people that are important to you.
   
   After reading the others I see Michele is right as well.  You can take that route, but I think that's a waste of energy.  Some people when you confront them they will take the NO it's not my fault it's your fault route.  Nothing is accomplished, but then again

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7. 77

   gis_r07posted 14 years ago

   Funny that his question pops up on my feed tonight. Only today a situation pertaining to this very topic occurred at work. My director looked at me as he picked up the phone to call the person spreading the malicious rumors and said..."G.....if anyone ever starts a rumor about you, do exactly what I am doing now.....nip it in the bud or you will find them repeating their actions again."........I personally think that cofrontation is best. Confrontation does not have to be indecent or vulgar to be effective.

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8. 60

   duffsmomposted 14 years ago

   I believe confrontation is the answer.  Yes, the person may deny it, but you have put them on notice that you know what is going on and won't tolerate it.  People that gossip and spread rumors are cowards and rarely admit to it...but that is okay because you know what is going on. 
   
   But if we don't confront them, it is tantamount to approving what they are doing.  And if we don't confront, we do not give them a chance to change and learn something.
   
   Also if you hear the rumor come back to you from one person, ask the person to come with you to confront the person spreading the rumor.  It is really amusing to see the face of the person spreading the rumor get caught red-handed.

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9. 36

   edhanposted 14 years ago

   Clarification of the truth. Fight for gaining the true side of the story. Never allow rumors to destroy your reputation.
   
   Media will be the fastest way to get the message out.

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10. 60

    Ashantinaposted 14 years ago

    "guard your reputation with your life..." Sometimes, silence is the best sword... Your true friends / colleagues will not believe it... and those are the ONLY people who count.

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11. 77

    Wesman Todd Shawposted 14 years ago

    You can't control it.  You can control you, and absolutely nothing else.  In the end the truth is always known.  It might be stressful, but worrying can only hurt a person under such a gun.

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12. 59

    sam3mposted 14 years ago

    i'm old and have gotten to the point in my life where i really don't want to devote a minute of my time dealing with this kind of thing.  depending on the situation, in front of at least one objective/neutral witness, confront the person you know to be spreading these rumours, even if they haven't initiated them.  ask for the proof of the rumours.  call them on it if they lie.  make sure you make as large a scene as possible, both to prevent the spread of the rumours and to discourage others from doing the same thing.

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13. 61

    karowakiposted 14 years ago

    Thank you all for the votes...The problem in such situations is the circular nature of things and its difficult to find the single person responsible at times and the worse part is its all around by the time you find out..I love to confront thus was at loss to handle this type of problem.. the good thing about truth is that it sustains...I found out by experience this time!

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