Do you know someone that lies consistently and do you confront them or let it go

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  1. Charlu profile image76
    Charluposted 11 years ago

    Do you know someone that lies consistently and do you confront them or let it go?

    Some people lie to make themselves look better and I think some just do it out of habit.  If someone lies to you on a regular basis do you confront them or are you afraid they'll get defensive and let it go?

  2. Lisa HW profile image64
    Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

    I've known a couple of people who have been truly pathological liars (and one wouldn't need to be professional to diagnose that), and I've known more than a couple of people who just seem to lie as part of their "way of operating".  It's not really pathological.  They just kind of make no secret about the fact that they "just lie" under circumstances (but there are sure a lot more "certain circumstances" for them than for a lot of other people.

    I've always let just about all of it go, no matter who the person has been; because I figure, they're the one with the problem.  I'm not their teacher or parent.  If that's how someone wants/needs to operate I can't be bothered trying to do anything about it.  Besides, there's a very good chance it will lead to some very hard feelings.   Also, if I'm not 100% certain it's a lie I don't want to risk accusing someone innocent of lying, but even if the person is lying I don't like humiliating people.   I know that not confronting a lie just invites more, but my thinking has always been that confronting someone who either has a big "problem" or else who has become used to "operating that way" isn't going to a) change the person, or b) stop the person from lying to me because he has figured out that I don't always believe him.  I think liars often see lies on a case-by-case basis, and don't always pay attention to who is on the receiving end of any lie.

    Lies to people who don't know someone very well are often believed (or may not be).  People who know the liar, however, also tend to know his style of lying and to recognize it when it shows up.  It's far from foolproof because most often one isn't always sure if the truth is a lie.  A good part of the time, though, a lie from someone we know well tends to come with a "brand stamp" that makes we recognize.

    I think people who lie either have emotional issues or else have been convinced that "everybody just operates this way" (in other words, strayed from a "core of integrity and respect for others and trust, itself).  Either way, they're the ones with the very unfortunate problem - not I.  I remain (sort of) content enough in knowing it's their problem, not mine; and in knowing enough not to ever trust the person's word - again, ever.  I do think it's sad, though, that words and their meaning are so meaningless to liars.  It's hard to imagine why they think there's even any point to filling the air with empty words.   hmm

  3. creativesq profile image66
    creativesqposted 11 years ago

    I know several people that do it. I tend to confront them but sometimes I am tired of them getting so defensive that I let it go. It really depends on the situation. But I really get advantage of those opportunities where I can put them on the spot.

  4. Stacie L profile image88
    Stacie Lposted 11 years ago

    I do know people that lie and exaggerate the truth. Its frustrating to be around them and not call them on their lies. I have done this with two people and have stopped having anyhting to do with them, It may stem from emotional issues or self esteem problems but it's tiring to hear un-truths and gossip all the time.
    They become toxic to your well being so let them go.

  5. cynthiaalburo0322 profile image57
    cynthiaalburo0322posted 11 years ago

    Most of the time... a teacher of my son who even take God's name in vain just to save her position, an acquaintance, friends who wrongs you.
    What I've experienced, they will always justify they wrong doings just to save their reputation and even creating good lies. For a good lies is near the edge of truth so they might convince other people.
    It will be an endless loop and to  switch it off, forgive them! They are too proud not to stoop down, If we let it go in silence you touch their conscience.
    If we don't forgive, It only leads us in destroying ourselves and damaging our soul If we get even.

  6. SidKemp profile image85
    SidKempposted 11 years ago

    I steer away from those who lie intentionally entirely. I know many people who fool themselves and say things they don't really mean but don't know it. I don't confront them. As a result, I have a very small circle of friends, but I trust them all deeply, and they trust me. That way, if either one of us slips away from the Truth, we are already open to being confronted in a clear and gentle way.

    As a result, people who are open to becoming more truthful seem to really appreciate me as a friend.

    1. Mr. Happy profile image70
      Mr. Happyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You certainly do not have to answer this question but: why have You manifested into whom You are? Just curious (as usual lol).

  7. somethgblue profile image73
    somethgblueposted 11 years ago

    I do and often just laugh at their stories, which seems to anger this person. I've tried to explain to them that just because I nod and make no comment to your absurdities doesn't mean I accept them as the truth, just arguing or pointing out the holes in the stories has become tiresome and redundant after fifty years.

    However one of the four Universal Laws is allowance which asks us to accept this person for exactly who they are and realize that this behavior maybe part of their learning experience.

    After all we can seek perfection but often must settle for progress . . . alas!

    1. Insane Mundane profile image58
      Insane Mundaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ain't that the damn truth!  'Tiresome' is barely the word I'd choose for dealing with this, as it is more like a phrase such as "go forth with your Kindergarten self and learn the hard way, dearly beloved moron."  How's that for allowance?

    2. somethgblue profile image73
      somethgblueposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      "In a time of Universal Deceit telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act" to paraphrase George Orwell

    3. Insane Mundane profile image58
      Insane Mundaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Guilty as charged...  As the truth is the only way...

    4. Charlu profile image76
      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Tiresome is a huge understatement I don't know who has a harder time keeping up with the lies them or me  Ahhhh Then if you try to tell them how that couldn't possibly be it's more lies and the viscous circle continues Somebody help me please smile

    5. somethgblue profile image73
      somethgblueposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I choose to see it as amusement by adding to the story, next time the lies start flowing try to encourage the story teller by agreeing and elaborating however don't be to clever as they may see through your ploy and ruin the fun!

  8. Deborah Brooks profile image60
    Deborah Brooksposted 11 years ago

    I guess like everyone.. I get tired of the lies and back away.. and I do not have anything else to do with them.. sometimes i will confront them but the thing is they start believing their lies.. so to me it is no0 use to keep confronting them.. just let them wallow in their deception.

  9. James Peters profile image83
    James Petersposted 11 years ago

    Ever since I did a little research on "How to Spot a Liar", I've realized that people pretty much lie everyday.
    I am familiar with a certain individual in my life who constantly lies to me - even about stupid stuff. I think that they lack self-esteem so they lie in order to make them feel good, because they somewhat believe their own lie themselves.
    My Answer: I just let it go.

    Here is a HUB I wrote on "How to Spot a Liar", it's doing rather well statisticly speaking of course. Check it out at
    Thank you and excellent question.

    1. Charlu profile image76
      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Just got done with your hub which was excellent and had some great info to  help figure out when someone is lying not only with eye contact, but body language. Thank you

  10. Self Tweaker profile image61
    Self Tweakerposted 11 years ago

    You have to confront them if for no other reason than for your sanity or peace of mind.  If you know someone and all they do is lie, you cannot trust them and trust is critical to any relationship.

    You can be a friend and help them to see the error of their ways, but if a person chooses to get defensive and doesn't want to change, then it's best to be your separate ways. Those lies will one day bite you and you don't need that drama.  Best to avoid liars like the plague.

  11. profile image0
    JenineMianaposted 11 years ago

    I have known someone like this and once it has been discovered that lying is a person's favorite pass time, then it is time to let go and not turn back. Life is too short to spend it with someone who can not be trusted or counted on.

  12. Diana Lee profile image79
    Diana Leeposted 11 years ago

    My husband is a chronic story teller. I'm an honest Abe as he calls me. I have learned over the years to never repeat anything he tells me without revealing my source.

  13. cloverleaffarm profile image68
    cloverleaffarmposted 11 years ago

    I hate lies, and liars. I have not tolerance for someone who can't be honest. I am honest, and expect others to be the same. My mother in law is not welcome in my home, because all she does is lie.

  14. TCaro profile image76
    TCaroposted 11 years ago

    This depends on the type of lies the person is telling and how seriously the lying impacts you. If it just someone that likes to babble silly untruths, what is the real worry? If the person is a serial, trouble making liar then you might not have much of a choice but to confront him.

  15. hecate-horus profile image63
    hecate-horusposted 11 years ago

    I tend to keep away from gossips, liars, and other toxic people in general. I have found that confronting these sort of people doesn't change anything.  They will twist it around to make you look like the bad guy every time.  It's not worth it.

  16. lupine profile image66
    lupineposted 11 years ago

    I know people who lie sometimes to seem cool or for others to think they know everything... when it's a long time habit, I just let it go... that person knows they are not telling the truth and it will catch up to them sooner or later. I have confronted it in the past, but doesn't do any good. Why stress myself out? If it's a hurtful lie, I will let them know it is not appropriate.

  17. vocalcoach profile image93
    vocalcoachposted 11 years ago

    There is no point in confronting a liar. Lying, especially chronic lying, stems from a mental disorder.  Most liars actually believe their lies.  It is a habit to exaggerate the truth.  They are in such denial, little can be done to help them. 

    Someone very close to me has this problem.  After years of listening to lies, I finally made the decision to "let go" of this toxic person (who happens to be related to me.)

    Like television's Judge Judy has said, "If you don't lie you never have to remember what you've said."

  18. Mr. Happy profile image70
    Mr. Happyposted 11 years ago

    "My honor is my life". I wrote a hub about it. : )

    Thus, I confront those who lie. As I mentioned to Mr. Spirit Whisperer ( not long ago: "I can poke holes through deception all day long, no skin off my back ... it is a form of mental sparring." (lol)

    1. Charlu profile image76
      Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I clicked on your hub link and it states the page doesn't exist. Just thought you should know.

    2. Mr. Happy profile image70
      Mr. Happyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hmm ... that was a link to Mr. Spirit Whisperer's profile (not to any hub). It is strange indeed because his profile was up yesterday ... that is where I took the link from (lol). Thank You for the notice.

    3. Insane Mundane profile image58
      Insane Mundaneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It didn't work because the last apostrophe got included in the link, duh!


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