jump to last post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)

How do you forgive yourself for being so naive.

  1. jessyferari1 profile image60
    jessyferari1posted 6 years ago

    How do you forgive yourself for being so naive.

    He took away my virginity and three weeks later slept with another girl, but tells me I'm his all and it was only sex. I was a virgin till I almost turned 21 and intended to keep it till marriage. I beat myself up everyday for being such a fool and I regret it every single day for trusting and giving my heart away to be trampled on. We are broken up, I am left confused,rejected. the thought that I gave everything that meant a lot to me was not enough and that hunts me. how do I forgive myself

  2. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Keep things in proper perspective.
    The truth is "Most relationships don't last!"
    Just about everyone has had their heart broken at least once! (Many have had their hearts broken more than once). So don't be too surprised if you let yourself down again in the future.
    What you are going through just proves that you are human!

    Each of us selects OUR own friends, lovers, and spouse. Having sex with your ex was YOUR choice."I almost turned 21 and intended to keep it till marriage..." You have to ask yourself "Why did you break YOUR own rule?"
    You say you were "naive". However I'm sure you were aware it was NOT your wedding night when you had sex. You weren't "tricked" into thinking you were on your honeymoon.

    More often than not people break their own rules because they are either tired of  "being good", they believe they stand to "gain" something, or they fear losing something. We know why we are doing something when we do it. Maybe you had sex with a "hidden agenda". It's a mistake to believe sex can be used as a "lock" to hold a relationship together. The only people that feel bad after having sex are those who (expect anything beyond an orgasm).
    Yes, sex can be an expression of love between two people who care deeply for one another but sex in and of itself is not what makes a relationship "special". For many people having sex when the urge strikes is the same as eating when hungry. They don't have be in love with the chef in order to enjoy the meal.

    The first step to forgiving yourself is to take responsibility for your own decisions and choices. If there was no rape then you had sex because YOU wanted to have sex.
    (You don't regret having sex before marriage. What you regret is the relationship did not last)

    The next step is to remember that billions of us have had our share of heartbreaks and disappointments in relationships. Falling in love a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time takes more courage than falling in love the first time. (Therefore you never want to separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions.)
    Going forward live your life with full awareness each moment you make a decision. With time and experience we learn to make better decisions for ourselves. Be your authentic self and only do what YOU want to do. The goal is to find someone who wants what you want and believes as you do. Never settle!

  3. twilanelson profile image61
    twilanelsonposted 6 years ago

    Do not beat yourself up for trusting in human nature.  Forgive yourself and love yourself, then your heart can begin to heal.

  4. profile image0
    AMBASSADOR BUTLERposted 6 years ago

    You are still alive and living on the earth. You are love you are peace you are free down to the core of your being like every single human being on the earth but is not being this in their daily life on the earth because of an identity crises of who they really are as an human being and I have just revealed this to you in my answer on the 2nd sentence of this answer. Just be it moment by moment in your life and the past of this hurt and rejection will pass away and you will come away from this experience stronger and wiser. You are forgiven and go on in peace, love, freedom from this moment and forward. Jesus loves you and so do I and you can feel this love through my answer to your question. Now put that smile back on your face and your heart. You are loved.

  5. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 6 years ago

    That's awful.  And that's the kind of thing which happens when you're dating.  Unfortunately.  Although you have your morals, someone has managed to let you break them, and now you're realising what a mistake it was.  I'm glad you didn't fall for his pathetic excuses afterwards, although you are so heartbroken about the situation.  I've found when someone I've been dating turns out to be not the person I thought he was it helps me to move forward if I look at it this way:  I'm a great person who really loved him, but he has not come through for me.  He wasn't good enough, he let me down, so I can no longer be with him because that's the way he is, and I can't have that in my life.... That kind of thinking more than trying to 'forgive' myself for being such a fool.   Some people will come through for us in life and some won't, they're the one's to let go of.  I wish you all the best for making a new start.

  6. khalidosama profile image59
    khalidosamaposted 6 years ago

    well i wouldn't call that naive, you just were in love with him and that and u gave him everything you have,then he dumped you cause he got what he wanted,i believe that even if he was in love with you till now you shouldn't have given him your virginity,but now everything is done nothing to talk about,just be careful next time and don't just surrender for any sweet word said to you,think hard and try to take the right decision.now you should be stronger than before and never let anything break you inside,and it was not only your fault so its his too.if he still loves you as he say,he can marry you one day

  7. profile image55
    Muzamil bhattiposted 11 months ago

    All you need is some positive thoughts! Be with good people having positive vibes ! Being a man is easy to say this but you really lost much and its not easy for you. Try to be busy in your daily life ! Give time to your family ! Time heals the deepest cuts