Is it okay to have a secret account for the rainy days that isn't known to your spouse?
It is always better to save money for your future needs. If you are going to spend this money for a good cause, I think it is not bad to keep it as a secret. Otherwise, it is always good to keep your spouse informed of about your secret as trust is always maintained with small things.
We all have secrets, even from our spouses. Nothing wrong with that so long as the secret doesn't hurt them, you or anyone else.
It depends on how much you trust your partner and how controlled he or she is in terms of spending habits.
I have heard of stories where one partner has gone on to spend the rainy day fund on shopping wile the other partner was unaware ad only found out when they needed to tap into the fund, realized there was no money left. Ended up in a real mess.
So if you can trust your partner to be in control and not spend it then no need to keep it a secret.
I don't know that you should keep the fact that you have such an account a secret. I have a savings account for emergencies and such. My husband knows about it, but he doesn't know how much is in it. Also, just my name is on it so even if he did know how much was in it he couldn't access the money.
Why would a person want to keep it secret? Is there an hidden mistrust in the relationship?
While it is great to have a savings for rainy day that is exclusive for a person, keeping it secret is a deception. If the spouse has to keep it secret because of other issues in the relationship, then those issues probably need to be addressed.
Absolutely, it's okay -- at least in my own relationships. In both of my marriages, I've ended up with men who seem to think that just because money is there, it can be spent. In my first marriage I was still working for that twice-a-month paycheck for most of it. I had stock options, so I put in the maximum contribution ($75 per paycheck) which the company matched 15%. I didn't tell him that I did that, and he never looked at my pay stubs. He looked at the amount on the check, and assumed everything else had been taken out in taxes. We had more than enough for all of our needs, and had he ever specifically asked then I would have told him.
In my current marriage, I started by putting money away in secret savings. When we ran into financial troubles, I had to drain the account to meet those needs. However, now that he knows it's there, I've just told him that I have money but it's not for spending, and I keep the attached debit card in an undisclosed location. He understands that I work for myself, so my pay isn't extremely stable -- I might get a $2,000 paycheck one time, and then not get anything for several weeks or even longer after. The only way to ensure that bills are paid is to keep an emergency savings account. He still occasionally tries to get me to spend the money, but if it's not something we NEED then I tell him flat-out that he can't have it.
Yes. I'm actually creating one myself. You never know when you might need that extra money that is just yours.
It is absolutely okay, moiragallaga. Of course, it helps to have money to actually put into it sometimes, but that's a subject for another time!
They say if you save for a rainy day you are bound to have some rain. :-) However if you save for something positive and it happens to rain then you are prepared. I suppose the trick is to not mentally be preparing for a negative.
Awhile back I wrote a hub on this very subject. Only asked, Would it upset YOU if you learned your spouse had a secret account?
Personally I'd have no problem with my wife saving money in how many ever accounts she wants. I believe the people who have a problem with their mates saving money behind their backs suspect that they are doing so for the purpose of getting ready to end the marriage, cheating, or in hopes that during a divorce they want have to split it 50-50. The laws in most states consider it illegal to hide funds during a divorce. However there are no laws against having a secret account while you're married!
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