Why do GUYS always feel the need to SOLVE a woman's problem and not just LISTEN?
I feel like everytime I need to feel secure and heard and possibly comforted I'm immediately bombarded with this Mr. Fix it mindset by any guy in my life. I'm not outright asking for help, in fact, I'm capable and possibly even figured out how I'm going to rectify the issue, I just want to vent. So why can't I??
It mostly has to do with a modernized ego that is subjective to hormones and a disposition that is wired genetically. As hunters and gatherers from the beginning of human existance for survival... This is something that is wired into modern man that does not "always" work real well in the developed countries.
I agree, it's an internal very instinctive need to assist, even when there isn't the need. It's very frustrating when your only intention is to revisit the events of the day and you're hindered from venting because there is a constant need for intervention
I actually just read a book called "The Male Brain" and in it, they discussed this. Basically, women's brains are wired to be more empathetic. They listen and show their emotion. Men's brains are wired to get the problem fixed quick. Just like Woodamarc said, it probably stems back from the beginning of time. It was all about survival, and men had to think and act quickly. It's not that he doesn't care or isn't listening. It's that he wants to 'fix' the problem so that you aren't worried or upset. Men tend to do this even if you say that you just wanted to vent and didn't want advice.
This thread is making perfect sense.
I agree wholeheartedly how important this question is.
...and it should be asked...
I hope that helps.
As has been said, men are the fixit people. They don't understand just venting or complaining for empathy. Those type of things are counter-productive and of no value - therefore you must be asking for help and they will do their best to provide that.
It's a difference in both cultural and hardwiring between the sexes.
We men are creatures of action more than creatures of contemplation. We take a great deal of pride in solving problems. It's an accomplishment, and that's what we do. We accomplish things.
I totally get where you're coming from.
I used to be that guy. Fix it all-man.
I've learned my lesson now. Women are more than capable of handeling their own issues. I'll just listen and give feedback. If she ever needs help, she'll ask me and I'll help. Until then, I have complete faith in she can handle her own business.
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