I would hope for everyone that their marriage is in the heart. A ring on the finger without the marriage in the heart is nothing; a piece of metal. In the long run, no ring will make anyone happy. A good marriage on the other hand will. I'd wear a piece of string on my finger to symbolize the marriage in my heart. And if marriage isn't in the heart... forget it.
The heart, definitely. I didn't even get a ring until four months after my husband and I got married. I'd originally proposed to him and our wedding took place when he was on leave from the army, less than two weeks after we'd gotten engaged. A ring is a material possession. If marriage existed on the premise of how nice or beautiful or perfect a ring was, a lot of marriages would be over by now.
Quite definitely in the heart. My husband likes to joke about, "I have a piece of paper and a strip of metal that says you're mine," but we both know that they wouldn't mean a thing -- and wouldn't have come to be -- if the heart weren't involved first. There was a time, and it still is in some cultures, where marriage was a business contract more than anything else -- a contract for children, economic security, and a partnership in tending to the home property -- but that is not my culture, and it is not how I went into my current relationship. For us, it's just a bonus that children and top-notch business partners have resulted...without the love, we wouldn't have been able to weather the trials to keep these scraps of metal on our fingers.
Unfortunately, for some people, it's in the ring. Which I feel is wrong! It should always be in the heart. Never in the ring.
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