You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire......
......They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing he/she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I will not take it when someone make caricature of a dear friend without any tangible reason. I will call their attention, tell them off or try and change the topic. But, i wouldn't accept the ridiculing of my friends for any reason. Thanks
While attempting to not embarrass them I would politely dispute the criticizing. Depending on exactly what is being said I would try to use examples that counters their points that they are complaining about. If this attempt did not work I would force a change of topic and I would probably lose a degree of my respect and admiration for those people. After all I can not respect people that do not have open minds and are that stubborn. Over all though I would try to do it in a tasteful way that if it worked out would preserve the respect and relationship with them.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire......
......They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing he/she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I cordially make them aware that the person they are speaking of, happens to be a very dear friend. I do however address my 3 other friends regarding the criticism and ask that they speak with him/her directly. A person should not ever talk about another person, behind there back. I politely ask them to end the discussion and then change the subject to a discussion that is more positive.
When I speak to my friend I do not ever divulge to him/her that there was a very negative discussion that was distasteful or unjustified.
I hate it when people talk behind other peoples backs. I guess in this situation, listen, and see where they are coming from. There could be some truth behind their remarks. Then I would try to stick up for your friend, maybe there is some information they don't know about, that's causing them to think that way about your friend. In any case, when I hear people talking behind anybody else's back, I tend to trust them a little less, because I naturally assume that one day they might do the same to me.
You might want to reconsider your level of admiration for these three but the easiest thing to do would be to tell them your relationship with that person. If these three have any respect for you they will change the subject.
If the critisism is not justified in any way - mind that they may know that person from different point of view or they talk in such a manner that it couldn't be done in front of that person they talk about, then in my opinion they are not worth all your respect really.
And it doesn't actually matter if you know that person and he/she is your friend or not.
I guess if I really had a good opinion about those three, I would ask them to explain their silly behaviour - they might have been joking and meaning no harm
if they are sitting at a table criticizing people they would lose my respect there and then... I could try justifying the story for them if they care to listen ... if not i'll walk away.
by Jplanet 13 years ago
You’re talking with people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend...not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
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