Wondering what people think of ex-spouse's still staying very close to the ex's

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. Keeley Shea profile image80
    Keeley Sheaposted 6 years ago

    Wondering what people think of ex-spouse's still staying very close to the ex's siblings & parent's?

  2. onegoodwoman profile image76
    onegoodwomanposted 6 years ago

    No real life experience here......but, I like to think........

    that if for whatever reason my hubby and I parted company........

    it would not mean that he and my brother could not still enjoy...( insert all that might apply) hunting, race cars, woodworking

    I would HOPE that he would not simply and suddenly dismiss my Dad, who has welcomed him, and treated him as a Son through the years.

    It would not mean, that he was no longer able to pull a truck from a ditch......no matter who was driving the wayward truck.


    Honestly, no, I do not think that I would want to sit across the holiday table, and make nice, with my former spouse.......I am too little of a person.........but, I would have no resentment, if he found his way and his welcome at the various tables of my family members during a particular celebration.  He, too, is worthy of welcome, or humanity, and the celebration of memories and yesterdays.

    Yes, I would, indeed hope, that even though he and I no longer desired to be committed, he would still find friendship within my family.   He has been a part of it so long, he deserves his place.

    Though, I would probably prefer not to meet his lady friend, it would be nice to hear from the family grapevine, that he has one.  I have adored him far too long, to wish him lonliness and an empty life.

    No matter our differences, or the thing that tore us apart, would I ever, dismiss him from the lives of our daughters and grandchildren.   I would suck up and bear some discomfort, so that they might celebrate and enjoy their special moments in life.

  3. thebookmom profile image74
    thebookmomposted 6 years ago

    That happened to my good friend and it was really hard.  It made a difficult and tense family dynamic even worse and led to a lot of confusion and anger in the kids involved.  It was the kids who ended up asking the parent to back off since they were no longer a "part" of this side of the family.  These situations are so hard and so personal sometimes the "right" thing is hard to sort out.  Maybe honest communication with all parties can help figure out what's best.

  4. James Halpin profile image70
    James Halpinposted 6 years ago

    I don't think that ex's should be showing up at holiday functions.  They should have enough respect and consideration not to put everyone into an awkward position.  Friendships can still be maintained.  I've seen it done and it isn't a big deal.

  5. Ania L profile image84
    Ania Lposted 6 years ago

    Well my ex wasn't happy about it but my mother in law insisted we stay in touch and we did. She keep saying that she didn't divorce me so why should we stay apart if we actually went along very well for all those years.
    I'm glad she was so stubborn on it during those first hard months as now when everything settled, I really enjoy meeting with her and my sister in law for a cake and a chat.
    Of course I don't take part in family gatherings or anything like that, we rather treat each other like good friends.
    So my answer to this question is - if the relations were good, why destroy them? People shouldn't simply throw away the entire life only because they have split with someone they used to love.

  6. Keeley Shea profile image80
    Keeley Sheaposted 6 years ago

    Thank you for all the great advice!  I am divorced and my ex-husband's family stills wants to stay connected with me.  We developed a loving relationship for over 10 years and we are friends.  My ex does not like this and would like for me to say no when I am invited to functions.  The holidays are hard.  I tried to let it remain for the children.  If I have them on a holiday then I will bring them to see my ex's family or if he wants to take the time then he can bring them.  When he has the kids then of course he goes and I don't go.  His main problem is that if I am there there is no room for the girlfriend and that is not fair to her.  Unfortunately, no one really cares about her feelings, and so that is my fault too.  Divorced life is very complicated.  I have tried to remove myself a little, however, his family and I really enjoy each other's company.  My boyfriend thinks it is odd that I still associate with my ex's family too, however, he stands by whatever decision I make.  Which is why he is the right person for me. smile

  7. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    When there are children involved you owe it to the kids to allow them to have a relationship with their grand-parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Part of the price for getting divorce is having to deal with uncomfortable moments from time to time. However the former couple should be able to put aside their differences. My mother always made sure we spent time with my father's side of the family when we were growing up. In some ways she was more accepted than he was! lol!

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)