FOR BOTH PARTIES INTERESTED...
Guys, what this comes down to is that women look to men to help them feel better about themselves through the giving of female support. When a man fails to say and do the right things at the right times, women FALSELY conclude that he must not care that much and often get immediately mad and plot revenge. Men look for a woman to trust in him, meaning to trust in his masculine traits such as his physical and mental strength, intellect, ability to protect her and for him to be her hero. Even the word "Hero" has "Her.." as part of it's root. So when a woman see's her man trying to do things around the house, instead of giving the (NOT) "helpful" suggestion that you should "Get a 'MAN'" in to do it or hire a professional, just ask him "how you doing honey, do you need any help??" If he says no I'm good, even though he might have just been slamming the hammer or wrench against the floor or wall or cursing up a storm...leave it and him alone after that. Come back in a couple of hours and ask him if he needs anything again or better yet, just make him some dinner or a snack and he'll consider that being very helpful and supportive and love you more for it. While this is not what a woman would likely want in a similar situation, men are NOT women and the sexes are far more different then what the lies that have been told led most to beleive.
When a man see's a woman in distress which will often start out with her talking about her feelings or problems at work, the best thing a man can do is to simply...do NOTHING. Of course if she is physically working on a problem and getting upset, then most women do want the man to offer physical help and support, which is counter to what most men would want. But when it comes to a woman talking and sharing her problems, then it's best to start out by just doing nothing and listening. It's hard, you want to interrupt and offer ways that she can avoid the problem or fix it, but women aren't as concerned about fixing problems as much as they are in simply talking them out and having someone listen. Women think that anything can be solved if we just talk about it enough. Of course this is silly and totally out of line with reality. The only thing that enough talking solves for most women is their own emotional needs at that time. It's important to understand that almost the entire psyche of a womans mind and energy is spent on getting the emotional support and validation that she needs to feel good about herself. Of course men don't understand why this has to be don month after month, year after year and when a man see's that all his support is not making you any better, the man gives up eventually. That's because men are wired to NOT keep doing something that is NOT making a change or different. It's like trying to bring down a mountain with a BB gun. After several thousand shots it's already pretty obvious that it's NOT going to work, so we either get a bigger gun or change tactics. Since a woman needs an almost constant stream of verbal and emotional support, which men don't get at the outset, he feels like a failure because he can't find a way to make YOU feel good about yourself. Men HATE to feel like a failure and when they do fail over and over they simply walk away and stop trying. So it's important for a woman to let her man know that his efforts at listening and being there for you are working and helping because to him, the whole thing seems silly, useless and a completely unproductive waste of time. Especially if he's only going to have to repeat this exercise every few weeks for years or decades....
Your post could fit into a hub!
If he ignores you most of the time, then you will know that he doesn't care for you.
thats not always true. it could mean he is immature, or afraid to get hurt. He should not ignore you, and its ok to want to be paid attention too, but in my expierence, sometimes something other than a lack of love causes the ignoring. I kinda skipped that giant post, it seems slightly spammy to be that long, with no hubs on the profile? People get confused sometiems tho, so I thought I would add my 2 cents...
Men and woman have the same needs - people overthinking these needs make them seem so different but they're not.
These needs are straight forward! Emotional needs...
My wife is my best friend. I don't get it right all the time but she knows I care and I try to be suportive not instructive. We allways unite on common issues and work to get them resolved. The biggest issue, and it's not really an issue, is how we get from point A to point B. Usually if there's a difference it's the route we take and either is usually fine.
I don't usually care how we get stuff done as long as we handle it. Now that said, if I feel strongly about something I will insist. The best way is to pick very carefully the issuess you take a stand on and if it's not critical let it go.
I've been meaning to ask you: "Why do you Always talk with your hands on your hips?"
I am lousy at a taking picuters. WICH I jsust found out is cheating... I didnt know what to do with my arms, they jsut hang there..all limpy and stupid and if I cross them I look grumpy...
I cant help it PD, Im not as cute as you. Im not a grumpy person, and I very very rarely pick a battle at all, and the ones I do pick, I loose....
man, Im going back to the bugs avitar....
no girls will talk to me anymore, the guys are calling me bumpers...sheeesh....
You look great! You sound down to earth and alot of fun!
Hey! get a grip. We love you and I never called you a bumper. redneckman started that, and you know who he really is! I was only teasing you girl on the cheating. No bugs please.
I think this post was a bit long winded and should have been a hub in itself, but with that said, I gotta say that in my experience Some men come off as ignoring a woman simply because that man is used to entertaining himself or has interests that his mate doesn't particularly care for and most men don't really need someone to validate them by participating in their activities. It's a personal preference that sometimes comes off badly, if that guy spends a great deal of time doing his own thing. It doesn't mean he doesn't love her.
very interesting article! I think you described the differences of the sexes brilliantly.
it's all about the vibe u get....good or bad. no words necessary. one just knows.
Rednckwoman , I think youre gorgeous!!! just be whoever ya wanna be , whenever ya wanna be and however ya wanna be...!!!
I been in an out this morning ,dropping band gear off over on the political forum , left my 2cents worth somewhere else -sorry 1c ,damn recession ...
If I got time Im gonna put our new ,but used car up as my avatar , the kiwi dont gotta walk her butt off no more , well soon anyway ...yippppppppeeeeee
Ya Beautiful gurrrrrrrrl tis in ya words n in ya b---
when a man is not interested in you he will either not have anything to do with you or he will allow you to be in his life at his convenience. And all you women know exactly what that "convenience" is. Dont get it twisted now there are women that entertain males at their convenience as well. Forget about playing these mind games and thinking men actually fall for them. More than likely the male that "falls" for it knows your game and will conveniently entertain you. Don't play yourself and think that two weeks later after not communicating or speaking to you he conveniently calls and wants to see you means that he is interested in something more or deeper than sex/relations-that's so old school (lmao/late night creep/becky (lmao) it is what it is, and if you allow yourself to be used that's on you!
Vonda G. Nelson
The only good answer is find out his signs and read his sun sign.
The reason why I said this is because each is different.
My man who is a virgo will care for me if he cooks for me, cleans the house for me, cleans the sheet before I come, check my oil, give me money to spend and last of all, get up at 3 am and reply to my post because I was upset.
If my boyfriend does not love me, he will not do any of the above.
But let me tell you. It takes 2 years and lots of tears and communication to get here as Virgo is very slow.
But once you gain his trust, he WILL BE THERE rain or shine. It's a virgo trait.
So if I date another type of man who is an Aquarius -- he will fail miserably at this as this type of man is not about doing anything. He is good at interlectual exchanges and good time.
So each is its own and astrology will guide you somewhat of where they are.
Of course in any relationship, it takes time to get to know someone.
And above all, don't give up too soon.
We are both Taureans ,born on the same day ,and we are so opposite yet not -isnt that strange
Not all men are alike but we are all people and being treated like a person makes it easy to discover how a person feels, so just talk with your man and see how he feels about things.
If a man is not into you, he will not want to spend any time with you, ignore you, many will just tell you straight out ( if they are decent guys ), or in some unfortunate cases, you will not be able to tell because they will string you along, make you think they are into you , and just use you untill they find the person they want to be with..
very hard question to answer since every man is different and none think alike.
He will look elsewhere, he won't show interest in what you have to say, he won't compliment you and he won't be available.
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