Why does my boyfriend who is divorced since last year, couldn't stop talking about his ex?
I wonder why he has to talk about her all the time, he mentions all the time that she treated him badly, and even injects snippets about her like " I hope you wont do some mind control over me because she did this to me". Has he gotten over her? Was he just totally dependent on her for 20 years and now she cuts him of and that he couldn't stand being alone?
Thank you for your comments, it would be a great help for me.
If he is continuously talking about his Ex; He is not over her and is remembering her and probably comparing what he had with her to what he has now with you. You have to tell him straight out that this bothers you and you want it to stop.
Few possibilities:
-He is not over her.
-He seems traumatic with their relationship or she handled him
-He is comparing both of u
Goodluck! Just observe or confront him
Having been in what I can only imagine was a similiar marriage to his, many things are possible. He might be constantly looking for parallels to her behavior and yours. He might be emotionally crippled if she ran things and he now feels less than capable of leading a life without being constantly "guided". Whose choice was the break up? Did she dump him, or did he run? It is likely not so much that he doesn't want to be with you, but rather that he's not sure how to move on without her. He certainly needs to move on, but might require time and/or professional counseling.
He's "gotten over her" he just never wants to repeat the hell he went through again. Sometimes when people have been through the ringer they remain "on guard" for any signs or clues that they may be heading down that same road again. Depending on how "awful" things were with his ex and the length of the marriage it could take him years before he stops looking at comparisons. It's almost like expecting a vet to stop talking about the war when he returns home. (No intention to downplay the effects of war or compare it to marriage). The example was just given to show how intense his feelings about what went down with his ex.
It's always tough being the "rebound" person. In addition to building a relationship you also end up being a sort of therapist. A lot of people would rather not be (the first person) to date someone who has just come out of a relationship. From what I'm told it's even worse if the relationship ended due a death. You constantly hear how great their mate was! :-)
if he does that as in talk about his ex even while with you, it could mean he is more or less trying to be cautious not to fall into the same predicament he found himself with when he was still with his ex.
You really have to be more up and doing as in, not even remotely should you give him any reason for him not to trust you fully. I believes he still abhors some of those doubt.talk with him more and he'll expose it to you.
Nan, he don't like her, he just need somebody to load all the crap he had to deal with in path, onto and you are the sucker, who he is loading all of his crap onto.
by Dana Strang 12 years ago
If your significant other wanted to you stop talking to a friend of the opposite sex, would you?
by Georgina Shamon 10 years ago
Is it wrong to stop talking to an ex the minute you find out he has met someone new?Personally, the minute I find out that someone who once liked me ..is talking to someone else, then I just decide right then and there that I will no longer keep in contact with them. I guess it hurts to think that...
by Antoinette Lee Toscano 10 years ago
What are your thoughts on people who cannot stop talking for more than a few seconds at a time?Do you know someone that acts like they have to fill any silence with chatter, they have monologues instead of dialogues, they even think out loud and constantly talk to themselves? What do you...
by RKHenry 15 years ago
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8076253.stmMan, dead over abortion. I thought we were out of the darkages. This is what happens when people stop talking. This is what happens when people forget to live like people. Abortion is a right and it is protected by law. ...
by Col. Duke LaCross (...Okay, maybe I lied) 11 years ago
Why can't we stop talking about Dec. 21, 2012?Nothing is going to happen. Why do you care.
by Tara Anderton 12 years ago
Sometimes you just need quiet! That incessant drone in your ear, the nodding of a head in almost recognition that someone is trying to communicate with you, but all your brain requires for 5 more minutes is complete silence. Is that too much to ask?I like me a bit of silence. Time to think, create...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |