Is there an easy way to get over a recent breakup?

1. 57

   Alma Cabaseposted 12 years ago

   Is there an easy way to get over a recent breakup?
   
   I recently broke up with my longtime boyfriend. It happened two months ago but I still can't get over it.
   
   

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2. 71

   SimpleGiftsofLoveposted 12 years ago

   There is a piece of grief that happens with every broken dream or disappointment.  I used to think the formula was that for every year you were together, it took a month for each year.  Like a 3 year relationship should take about 3 months to get over.  But it depends on the depth of the relationship.  When a person is betrayed and their heart was all in, there is no formula.  I give myself permission to cry, because when I don't, my pain goes underground only to resurface later.  I go walk, or go to the gym, and start exercising and before you know it, even in the exhaustion afterwards, I begin to feel better.  When I feel better I think better.  Everything happens for a reason, even though it doesn't feel like it now, something new is on its way to you that couldn't happen because you were occupied.  Wait for it, and find peace in who you are.  The picture is beautiful, and so are you!

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3. 61

   Paul Bisqueraposted 12 years ago

   Alma, the only way to recover from your breakup is to "throw yourself" into your work or hobby or family/friends' activities and so on!
   
   Keep your mind BUSY so that you won't have to think about "bad things" or have the time to conjure up "bad memories." 
   
   Turn off the radio (so that you stop hearing those "love songs" that you and the partner had a relationship) and put in your "HAPPY CD/mp3 songs" instead.
   
   Schedule events in the next few days like a hike or meeting up with a friend/family member at a restaurant/mall/park or go on a trip somewhere.   
   
   Spend more time with your loved ones and please talk to someone when you are feeling down.  It's good to verbalize your problems rather than keeping them inside you. 
   
   If things get worse, please see a counselor/therapist for help. 
   
   Good luck, Alma, and let me know how you're doing.

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4. 57

   Alma Cabaseposted 12 years ago

   Thank you very much for such inspiring words. We were together for almost four years and the pain just keeps coming back. I really hope you're right that there is something better that awaits me.

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5. 61

   MickSposted 12 years ago

   Get over it, another one will come along, just like London buses.

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6. 61

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   This man was a part of your life, a part of you.  It will take time, lots of time.  Keep busy, try not to dwell on the past and move forward.  It might take a year or more but you will see daylight again.

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7. 60

   pajamazzonposted 12 years ago

   The best way to get over a bad break-up is start dating again

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8. 60

   THEHuG5posted 12 years ago

   You'll get over it. It just takes a lot of time apart. There is no easy way but the best thing to do is to have absolutely no contact with him at all. Delete his phone number, unfriend him on facebook, and everything else. You'll get over it little by little and in a year you'll be at the point where you rarely think about him. Focus on other things for now.The first 6 months after a long time breakup are always the hardest. Good luck

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9. 59

   DannyMaioposted 12 years ago

   Hello Alma,
   Everyone goes through this. It sucks but you have to think on the bright side, If it was meant to be it would be, If not you did yourself a favor. You heard the old saying love hurts, well actually it shouldn't hurt. Every couple has ups and downs and you work through them together, nobody is perfect. Try and keep busy so your mind doesn't keep feeling sad. It will end and you will be fine. Remember when one door closes another will open!

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10. 59

    Ana Teixeiraposted 12 years ago

    I actually have a hub precisely about this. I would love to tell you there's an easy way.. but there isn't. Everything takes its time.. and trust me.. it's better this way. I have been through a break-up also.. not long ago... and that's why I decided to write the hub. I'm not a psychologist... but here is a bit of my personal experience.
    
    #1 - Love yourself
    
    #2 - Don't deny it
    
    #3 - break patterns
    
    #4 - keep busy
    
    #5 - don't go on the rebound.
    
    It's how I did it. I hope you find a way to cope.. and remember.. value yourself... above it all! good luck!

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11. 56

    jeanniedoeposted 12 years ago

    I always believe in the saying everything happens for a reason. So if someone goes out someone will come in and hopefully the newcomer on your door will be the right man for you. Be strong and be ready with all the things that will come on your way.

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12. 83

    Marcy Goodfleischposted 12 years ago

    I'm so sorry for your pain. Four years is a huge emotional investment. My suggestion would be to treat it almost like an addiction for now. As they advise addicts, don't go near the stuff. This means not calling him, not driving by to see what he's up to, not clicking on his FB page - anything you can do to keep from putting him into your thoughts. Get rid of any symbols of the relationship (photos, favorite CDs, etc.). Either give them away or pack them in a box for a long while.
    
    Having been through it, I will promise you it's true that you'll eventually move forward and have a new (and better) life. I know it doesn't seem that way now, though.
    
    Learn to be happy with your own company. This is often hard for people who are used to being part of a couple. But if you can truly find peace and joy hanging out by yourself now and then, you will feel very liberated. When you get to that point, you'll know you have the strength to be in a relationship only if it adds to your (already happy and fulfilled) life, not because you feel empty without a partner.
    
    I'm sending you some cyber-hugs and prayers.

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13. 52

    Eccentric Natposted 12 years ago

    Stay as busy as possible and surround yourself with friends and family. Before you know it, each day will get a little bit easier.

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14. 0

    khmohsinposted 12 years ago

    This man was a part of your life, a part of you. It will take time, lots of time. Keep busy, try not to dwell on the past and move forward. It might take a year or more but you will see daylight again.

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15. 60

    hillymillydeeposted 12 years ago

    Talk to someone who would not just listen but will understand and help you forget. Even they will not say the right word of comfort to you, their listening ear and their understanding heart is good enough to ease the pain of your broken heart.
    
    Don't isolate yourself, talk about it. Don't hold your tears, cry for it. Wait a little more and time will heal your broken heart

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