Most of us know what 'stoic' means, but for those of you that don't- Dictionary.com defines it as: One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain. That is ONE definition, but let's face it~ There is NO EMOTION tied in with someone unaffected by someone elses joy/grief, pleasure/pain. Blatant meaning?= Basically, these men have been predisposed to not really listen, understand you, or why you feel the way you do. Why? They cut themselves off from feeling- because most men are victims of their own manhood/Masculinity~ *HOW? In the era of 'Baby Boomers'[people born from 1946-1960] & also the Fathers/Grandfathers/of these men, instilled in their Sons a stereo-typical MAN- devoid of emotion. They were the Strong silent types that could NOT show their emotions- [how they felt, what they needed/wanted]
Alternative: Be considered 'Sissys'. This has caused many relationships to die, marriages ending in divorce, and domestic violence. Women have little recourse but to confide in their friends, but that's like a box of "Hamburger Helper" or as I call it: "Hamburger Cover Up". It's not going to fix the man they love... the one who may be such a great guy in so many other areas, but when he refuses to walk on a 2 way street with you, and give & take on an even keel, then it's time to either 'move on' or 'get help'. Maybe he may need intensive counciling, or maybe just read a good book about this topic.. Meditation is always a GR8 alternative... If you decide to seek Professional help, no doubt it will be a painful experience for you both. A woman who let's a man rule her life with an Iron fist, or lets a man emotionally batter her, has no self esteem. Having been raised by a 'Stoic' Father, & then marrying a 'stoic' man, I've learned quite alot about them. I was born into a family and had no brothers or sisters, I was lucky enough to have my Best Friends Mother just about 'adobt' me, & she already had 5 kids! Whata woman! A former stripper at that!
IF you think your Husband or Boyfriend is stoic, there are some
'tips & tricks' you can do without seeking Professional help... In my next chapter I'll try to enlighten you on the stoic man
that you may be able to get through to. A stoic man can be one of your closest allies, as he may have had a terrible past, or BAD relationships- & maybe all he needs is some truth revealed about himself. You CAN get it out of him, but it takes time, & you may not succeed. Tune in next chapter for some on-going fun
& successful ways to make the turtle come out of his shell. After all, most people delight in talking about themselves! Until then, take good care & "To thine own self be true". DawnnaBee
