What are the Best Methods for Resolving Conflicts and Arguments in a Relationshi

1. 83

   J.S.Matthewposted 12 years ago

   What are the Best Methods for Resolving Conflicts and Arguments in a Relationship?

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2. 73

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   The first step is to try and avoid becoming emotionally invested with someone who does not share your same values. If you natuarlly agree on the major things in life, the goals for the relationship/marriage, and the strategy for reaching them then the things you disagree on are small things. Don't build a mountain out of a molehill, as one author wrote: Don't Sweat the Samll Stuff!"
   
   Having said that it is importatnt to realize the bulk of arguements are about setting boundaries, expressing hurt, or feelings their partner was inconsiderate of their wants and needs. It's been said, "Anger is the mask that (hurt) wears"
   
   If you can take your mind off (the way) someone is expressing their anger and keep in mind they are really saying "you hurt me" in some way then you have a better chance of neutralizing the conflict by getting at the center of it. Instead of reacting with your ego in an effort to "win" the fight the goal should be to win the peace. You want to talk in a calm voice, ask questions to get clarification, and "actively listen" (not just wait for your turn to speak). If you love someone it's not about (you and men), it's about (us and we). People "in love" want their significant other to be happy as much as possible.
   Sometimes you will have to agree to disagree. Other times you will have to think long and hard about whether or not the conflict is over an issue you consider to be a "deal breaker". If you find yourself fighting over and over again there is a good chance you have selected the wrong mate for yourself!
   "No amount of work or communication can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want." Ultimately we are all looking for someone who (naturally agrees) with us on the important things in life.

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      Starmom41posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      oh I absolutely believe this person's ^ first paragraph. 
      I'd also add:  1.  respectful communication;  and 2. realizing some topics can come to "agree to disagree."

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3. 77

   sandrabusbyposted 12 years ago

   I'm a fan of A.W. Schaeff's process:  whenever conflicts arise, each person has the responsibility to go to a neutral place and do his own processing; then, come back together and sort it out.

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4. 66

   Globetrekkermelposted 12 years ago

   Be willing to listen and put yourself in your partner's or husband's or wife's  perspective. Don't be stubborn and insist being right.That does not get things resolved.PATIENCE,PATIENCE PATIENCE..... NO SUBSTITUTE FOR THAT. Refrain from saying things that you will eventually regret saying after the anger has subsided.

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