If a man remembers a woman's birthday (even after years), does that mean he really cares?
I had a relationship with a guy when I was a teen, he left after 2 months following an advice from a friend. But we never lost contact, even when I was married with children and he in a relationship with children etc...Until I left to the US and all of a sudden after 8 yrs he called me and figured out where I was! What surprises me most is that he knows my birthday even after all those years and never forgets to congratulate - he's better about it than other men I have been with. Now I heard once that a man only remembers the birthday if he really cares? Is that true?
When someone remembers a person's birthday be it a man or woman after many years it can mean they still care or they just have a great memory. It really depends on the person.
If a man remembers anything it means something. I remember the dates of birth for my wife and all 4 of my children and my anniversary. That's it.
My wife on the other hand struggles with her own birth date... what does that mean?
I really think it does. I really really do. I don't know why; but I just feel like it can be a possibility. Maybe those still waters run deep. You know my mothers first love still calls her every year for her birthday. Without fail. In my opinion - things like that only happen when there's history involved between the two. I dont just mean romantically. Be blessed.
P.s. I wonder wheres the man that'll call me up on my birthday?... lol
No not really..it just means he remembers it and is thoughtful to greet you..
I say it because I remember my men friends birthdays as well as I do the women friends so I greet them when I do.
Here's a guy's perspective. That he figured out where you were when you left the country says a whole lot. He certainly does care. That he remembers your birthday, though, could go either way. I know one man who remembers every birthday of everyone he's ever met, but doesn't care a lot - he just connects on birthdays. But, if this fellow is not like that, if your birthday, in particular, is special to him, that says a lot.
Personally I would find that a little creepy (him calling & remembering birthday after 8 years away). But that is just me. I would actually prefer that my birthday NOT be remembered by a guy I was in contact with years ago. That sort of thing sets off my 'red flag detector'. But that is just me.
Maybe there is a nicer explanation for him remembering your birthday, like him just being nice and/or genuinely caring for you, as other respondents have said.
But, since you asked the question, this is my honest answer.
Could be he just owns a calendar! LOL j/k When I was younger I used to grasp at straws and believed just the thought of a (special) guy remembering anything about me meant something...lol I remember birthdays, anniversaries, and lots of other dates about people and things and stuff I no longer 'care' about-but then, I'm a woman and most men would rather we forget than remember! LMAO
Yes , I agree he truly cares, but I also agree with the others he also has good memory. Could this also mean it's a fettish. Whatever it may be i's good to be appreciated , your are worth something.
You may be right, Yols-a, but when two people get married to other people, the relationship should end out of respect for the marriage.
Fettish? What in the world does that have to do with memory???????
If I may tell you my honest opinion, don't be deceived by that heresy that he still cares. Remember he left you because he listened to his friend. He only cares for you as a long-time friend. It happens to everyone at some given point in our lifetime to wonder on the whereabouts of a friend. Nothing more!
I tend to agree with you, Lita. It sounds like this guy just wants to shake the tree a little to see what falls out. Remembering her birthday or finding the necessary documentation, is just a gag - it is the bait on the end of a sharp hook.
I cannot tell if he really cares or not; however, of one thing, I am pretty sure. If a man remembers your birthday after 8 years, then he must think about you on a regular basis. At least, I did with my contacts.
P.S: It can be Facebook or his mobile calendar telling him about your birthday (if you look being a negative like me)
Well, when we met there was no facebook or all those mobile devices. And I am far far away, so no chance for quick entertainment or such. He dug out where I was after 8 yrs....would you do that when someone is so far away?
After separation he can delete her name or remove her from his friend list. It can be possible. Positive aspect is this that he wished her and probably missed her as well. Be positive.
@beadreamer (lol) * when we met there was no facebook. LMAO! sorry. that was funny.
Don't be too alarmed. If you have facebook he could have obtained the info from a simple facebook search. All he has to do is enter your name and he has that info right in front of him. He may be trying to impress you by making you think he remembers your birthday! I can get anyone's birthday by a few clicks! It doesn't take much research to find that!
There's a few things that could be going on here:
1. He could have did a facebook search and found it.. and wants you to think he remembers it.
2. He may have found that info elsewhere, it's not hard. All he needs to know is your name and where you live.
3. He could have one of those memories that just doesn't forget numbers! I know a few people like that. One friend can't remember anything else, but numbers stick in her head...from long ago. She knows phone numbers from grade school but can't remember who the first president is.
4. He could really care and does remember your birthday.
You'll have to decide which of these is correct. However, didn't you say you were married? Why would you be concerned about a past love if you are married with children? I don't see why you would be so interested in a past love! It doesn't sound morally on the up and up to me! Unless you are divorced or something! Still, you said you were in contact the entire marriage... no offense but that sort of contact leads to divorce! You don't stay in contact with past loves like that if you are in a marriage! It has bad karma written all over it!
I disagree with you in one point. A marriage does not lead into divorce by staying in touch with other guys/girls from the past if both partners know and are aware of. I know my ex was in touch with females from the past. That's not why we divorced.
yeah its different when youre being secretive with the relationships of your past. Cause it seems youre hiding something. but if you are honest and straight forward. There should be no problems. if there is then he/she is controlling & its not ri
I like how you think, Libby!
Beadreamer, you say staying in touch with an old flame does not lead to divorce, yet you have been divorced. Fact is, people who keep old flames flickering and a spark alive, can never fully commit to their marriage.
It means he's a flake. if he is keeping tabs on you while he's with another woman and you are married...he's no good.
Any slick-talking con man knows how to remember names and dates. Heck, I still remember my favorite girlfriend's birthday of 25 years ago, and I know where she lives, but I have never reached out to her because she is married to another and so was I.
It means nothing other than the old fox can remember a date, but from what I see - he lacked character when he was with you and he certainly lacks it now. What I see is a man who is never content with what he has, but always thinks the grass on the other side of the fence is greener than what he has growing right under his nose.
My advice to you is to rid yourself of him. All that is going to happen is your marriage will fall apart and old don Juan will go running off after the next skirt that catches his eye. An honorable man would not have followed you into your marriage or left his own...out of curiosity or otherwise.
I am sure your birthday and everything about you is memorable...but he left you while another man did not. Please don't let this playa back into your life...he hurt you once and he will do it again.
Why, thank you, Msorensson...I aim to please. :0)
Who says that I am married? I am not. And I know for sure he is not running after another skirt - he is not that type of person at all and has never been. There was another reason why he listened to someone else to let go of me and he told me.
I also like CJ's answer. Beadreamer, I don't think any of us know for certain what is in your friend's heart and mind. Therefore, it's important you be open to BOTH sides of the equation. You obviously WANT him to care... but does he? I don't know.
I get the impression that you, beadreamer, want to hear a certain answer. You said that while you were married, he kept in contact with you. In my mind, married people shouldn't keep in contact with old flames, because it undermines their marriage.
It depends. Maybe he have gadgets/phonebook. He is in town and look at it and found you. Remembering one's birthday is a great opener and pick up line
Just my opinion. With all the gadgets now a days its hard to know if he remember of something remind him.
He never used it as a pick up line nor does he work with gadgets/phonebooks. At the time when we met that was not around and we never celebrated my birthday during the two months we were together. We had no contact for 8 yrs....
I don't know, beadreamer, it may not be a "pick up line" per se, but you have been so impressed by it that you are here talking about it and soliciting our opinions, and, in your own way, getting a little defensive when we don't tickle your ears.
Just my opinion. By the way if he is your friend in facebook he can easily see your birthday . Also any type of cellphone have a calendar feature.
He may not use it as a pick up line but it is certainly working since you are all up about it.
I tend to be awful with birthdays for anyone who is outside of my immediate family. I openly admit it though!
I'm not sure about that one. But I do remember my ex'ses birthdays. If they were important to me at one point, then of course I'll remember those facts. I suppose is the same for men.
Yes, he cares one way or another. (if you get my drift!)
Remembering dates is a specific kind of memory. Some men have it; others don't. I don't remember my mother's birthday off the top of my head, but you better believe I'd bleed every drop I have for her. If he remembers dates easily, it's not significant. If he doesn't, that means he specifically tried to memorize it.
It depends on what is his purpose behind remembering the birthday of his wife.
Of course he cares, it means that you people were involved deeply and he really loved you. That's why after years he called you and wished you.
I feel I have to put a few things straight here. First of all during my marriage my ex as well as me kept in touch with previous opposite sex friends and that included exes, who remained friends as well. Both of us never had an issue with it and it never was one. It also was not the reason for the divorce at all!
The reason why I asked this question is....not even my exes remembered my birthday well, and I was told once that a man who remembers your birthday truly cares about you. I have never experienced someone remembering my birthday really - so it does impress me.
Yes, back then in 1986 there was no Facebook and I have entered facebook just a few years ago.
We were only actually together for 2 months, but stayed in touch both ways. I stopped any contact when I came to the US, but he spent the time and effort to find out where I was and was not even too shy to ask my father about it!
The very first thing he asked once we had contact, if it was ok with my partner for him to call, otherwise he would not call or interfere. Since it was ok I told him so. And we helped each other understanding our difficult partners better at times, cheering up each other etc.
And I am not steering towards a certain answer. I asked because I have no answer to this question myself and don't know what's behind it all.
Do I like when he calls? Do I enjoy our conversations? Yes I do, he became the very best person for me to talk to, the first person to pour out my heart. Why? Because he is far away and there is no easy way for a relationship, but a lot of trust - he is honest and even tells me when I am off etc.
Still I wonder how someone can treat me better than my exes, being just a friend...and why all the effort to find me after so many years. Is that unrealistic?
In our conversations we talk about everything
Remembering a birthday is one thing. Going out his way to let you know is another. He cares.
When a man remembers a woman's birthday, it means that he either cares about her, he is a sentimental/romantic person, he is a very nice guy, he wants her to accept his invitation to show her his etchings, or he is trying to con her into believing that he is a nice guy who really cares about her.
Well said, Feenix. The question that beadreamer needs to find out is which one it is and to honestly consider each possibility with an objective mind. It is obvious that she is interested in him, and it is rather clear where she would like to take th
It means he has a good memory. I remember the birthday of the girl I dated before meeting my wife. I do not call her, but I just remember the day. I remember a lot of stuff, some of it totally useless, and sometimes some things that are useful. I would say the guy just has a good memory. What he does with those memories is another issue.
I think that is sweet that he remembers your birthday even after so many years.I think he is still attracted to you though and obviously still cares enough for you even after all these years for him to remember your birthday.Hey, maybe it is time to reconnect a lost love. I am really terrible on birthdays even my exes and my husband's but I still always think about them and still have fond memories of them.
He cares for you. The fact that he still remembers you and your birthday after eight years only means that he is thinking of you right from the day you parted ways. Men are not very particular with dates (others often forget birthdays and wedding anniversaries-women are disappointed with this). So, the thing that he still remembers you only says that he cares for you too.
Meaning??? I don't know, manifestation on the date is different. People remember different things, me dates and birthdays noooooo. Though I do care a lot. So, it depends on him and you to see a meaning in it. Does he remember most of his friends bdays or exes, or you in particular? Do You care? These are the real questions...
NO Men are stupid and whether you have one that considers your birthday or not is immaterial.
What you suspect, may or may not be the case. Some people simply have a "knack" for remembering dates. There are also many dates that most of us can remember because the date is the same as another important occasion in your life.....and you have a mental note tucked away due to this.....For instance, I remember someone's BD if it happens to fall on the BD of one of my children.....etc.
You claim that you had only a 2 month relationship and that he "left following advice from a friend.".....I must say that THIS tells me more about this man than his remembering your BD!! What on earth kind of "advice" would cause him to just leave?? If I were you, I'd refocus my curiosity. Good luck.
I doubt it. My ex-husband remembers EVERYTHING! I don't think there is anything but respect left between us, which is nice when you share children.
Well, he definitely care enough about you as a person. But not necessary as a lover. The two of you know each other since you are teens, he might love you more as a sister. You need to understand his feelings.
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