As a parent, how can you explain divorce to your children?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. alexandriaruthk profile image60
    alexandriaruthkposted 11 years ago

    As a parent, how can you explain divorce to your children?

    Granting that you and your spouse are going to divorce and there are children involved, how can you explain this experience to them?

    This question is also applicable if they ask about it because their friends parents are undergoing it as well.

  2. Collisa profile image81
    Collisaposted 11 years ago

    You always want to be honest with children, no matter how bad the truth is. Only tell them what they need to know - don't go into details. Above all, never speak ill of your ex. It will backfire, as the kids become defensive of their other parent.
    Children want to know how a divorce will impact them. Some of their questions would never occur to us, so it's important to give them a safe place to ask. Listen to their concerns, and repeat back what they tell you so they feel heard.
    The big temptation with kids is to talk them out of their feelings. It is so hard to see them hurt, we just want to take away their pain. But what they need is a parent who will contain their feelings. We do this by listening, repeating back what they say, and letting them know we understand. That way they aren't alone in their pain.
    You might find my blog helpful. It is linked at my profile. I've written some posts about divorce and children.
    Peace to you.

  3. jeanniedoe profile image56
    jeanniedoeposted 11 years ago

    Be honest to your children. Tell them what the real score of the story to let them understand why there is need to divorce. Some children if explained well with the situation will understand and accept the fact though it will hurt them.

  4. profile image57
    delightedposted 11 years ago

    This is a sad situation and one I have had to deal with myself.  My then husband and I sat down together and told our 7 year old that we would no longer be living together, but that we love her very much, and would continue to be her Mom and Dad.  That was 15 years ago...  My daughter has never asked any questions.  (truth be told, her dad chose to be with someone else and only recently left her also).  My daughter has a close relationship with both myself and her dad, and I am very grateful for that.  He has been a good father, and in spite of geographical distance has maintained constant weekly contact, and paid 1/2 her college tuition which was above our expectations.   As for children who ask why others are divorcing, that will depend on their age.   Rarely can anyone outside of a marriage understand the turmoil, heartache and depth of pain that goes into making such a decision.  I advocate compassion over judgement.  It is not our role to understand, but if we are friends with the family and the friendship is warranted (abuse or other detrimental behaviour is not involved), then we can continue to be there.  Perhaps those experiencing the divorce will share the 'whys' and heartache in time.

  5. ReneeDC1979 profile image60
    ReneeDC1979posted 11 years ago

    Great question. Tell them before it happens.  My brothers told me and my sis after my parents split.  We didn't understand it then, and it made me look at men different for a long time. 

    If both parents can come together at least for this talk, then do it and let the kids ask questions. Just be honest with them, no matter what, pray about it, and pray some more.  Just be ready to really be there for kids, especially with school, and them seeing their friends with 2 parents.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)