Why do people continue to champion broken homes & single parenting when the effects are devastating?
Answers article stated: "It is so important for children to have a stable home life. In a broken home it is difficult for children to find a sense of security because experience shows them that what seemed stable and good fell to pieces and left them feeling empty, yet full of questions. Growing up in a broken home may also cause children to have difficulty in future relationships and cause them to struggle with the issue of trust."
Over the past 30 years or so there has been an abundance of single parent homes and clearly the results are not good. What are your thoughts on this epidemic?
I can't think of anyone who gets married with the plan of getting divorced. Nor can I think of anyone who would rather see children without two loving parents in a home.
The biggest change over the past 30-40 years in the U.S. is women have better job opportunities and higher pay than their grandmothers and great-grandmothers. AARP did a survey a few years ago which revealed that (women) initiated the filing of divorce in the U.S. 66% or 2/3rds of the time!
The more options one has the less crap they will put up with!
Dr. Phil is fond of saying: "A child would rather be (from) a broken home than (live in) one." Like it or not there are many instances when a child is better off not living in a "toxic" environment with parents who fight or dislike one another. Staying together for the sake of the kids in such situations often does more harm than good.
Human beings make mistakes. This includes the selection of a spouse. When it's all said and done a divorce is a public admission that a mistake was made in the mate selection process. Having grown up in a divorced household I can tell you it was far from being "the end of the world" which is often portrayed on "After School Specials". Children are far more resilient than given credit for.
In fact I would imagine with a divorce rate of almost 50% most children have been touched by divorce in some way. Having said that divorce doesn't mean two parents can't provide for their child, participate in their activities, and be central to their lives. Divorce becomes a big problem when one parent uses the children as pawns to get back at their ex, or they try to get them to choose one parent over another time and time again. Some divorced parents don't want their ex to be a part of their child's life because (they) got their heart broken during or after the marriage.
Dashing Scorpio:you are thinking of a family unit. I mean get pregnant nation. No knowledge of the man (is he a abuser/molester/provider). Children with multiple fathers, w/no trade/education. No loving environment or structure. 4 kids, 4 fathers.
I have not heard of anyone (championing) such an environment that you've described. Such people in these situations do stupid things without considering future consequences. I can't imagine any woman dreaming of having 4 kids with 4 fathers.
You are lucky DashingScorpio. I have actually come across at least two of these types and promptly distanced myself because I don't agree with that nonsense. One high school classmate who was supportive of this had 3 by 3 fathers + is struggling now.
Express10, That sounds crazy to me! I can't understand why people do things that lead to poverty and struggle. Every child deserves to be brought up in a stable environment. There's more to being a mother than having babies.
One man's opinion!
I could not agree with you any more DashingScorpio. It's truly sad to come across these types of people because they are draining potential from themselves + their kids. My hope is that the good parents of the world outnumber the bad.
Sure, there are people who have to pick up the pieces after being widowed or getting divorced. However, there is a vast number of people who have children as if they are an accessory or status symbol and then make matters (and the children's lives) worse by not taking their jobs as parent seriously.
There is unfortunately a significant number of these types of people in the world. Too many people act selfishly and do not plan for a child in any way shape or form. It appears that at least half of those having children do not have the extra $1,150+ per child per month to afford one (it takes roughly a quarter million per child to raise them COMFORTABLY to age 18). They often have one or more with no emergency fund, no education, no skills, no retirement fund, etc. Some have children to "get a check" via child support or welfare.
So, there is little to no money in many cases all the while they are feigning joy at their new/newest bundle. These same fools will tell others that they should have children, even those who are unprepared. Whatever happened to planning for a/each child? Whatever happened to being a parent? I'm with you on this one RealTalk247, it's sad to see people not giving much thought to bringing a NEW LIFE into the world.
Great points Express10. People pop up pregnant with no education/skills, support of themselves, let alone providing for a child. No background on the father. They are not aware of goal setting, teaching values/morals,providing or example setting.
You're correlating single parents with some sort of decline (I'm not sure what epidemic you're talking about) but it operates on the assumption that a single parent household can't be stable. While it is definitely harder to raise a child alone, it's not impossible. Many single parents love and provide for their children in such a way that the passive observer would say they have a stable home. Considering that two parent households can be just as poor, abusive or unavailable, it would seem that the number of parents isn't an indicator of quality.
M. T. Dremer I was told she isn't talking about children who were born of an established relationship or marriage that fell apart. She's referring to (women) with multiple kids from different men who passed through their life for a few weeks.
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