Do you think that using your head in love is under rated?
So many people look for a feeling of strong attraction but as we all know, these feelings can be deceiving. Do you think more people should use their head more when it comes to love? I that even possible?
I have always followed my emotions and then justified what I was about to do with my very smart mind. I was so smart, I could make a stupid choice seem to make sense. I am smart, but there is someting called emotional intelligence of which I apparently had none. I say had because hopefully the school of hard knocks has finally ingrained a little of it in me. I was one of those people who they say, is in love with love. Well, I have had my life ruined one too many times and I say use a little of the sense God gave you and for goodness sake be realistic about the person you give your life to. If they aren't measuring up now, you are sure not going to improve them with your mad skills. Bless you, my dear. Great question!
I think most people try to use their head but still ended up being deceived. Love can be rather technical. For some people it's always a game, so no matter how smart you think you are you might ended up being outplayed!
The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.
I believe you have to use your head to make decisions with "awareness". Ignoring red flags when selecting a mate leads to problems. One has to knowingly make a calculated decision when choosing to make an "emotional investment" in someone.I talk a lot about this in my book, "My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany).
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Love doesn't "just happen" a lot of saying "yes" has to happen prior to someone becoming an "item". Yes to an exchange of contact information, yes to a date, yes to a kiss, yes to spending more time with one another, yes to sex, yes to becoming "exclusive" yes! yes! yes!. Any "no" would have stopped things!
Hopefully with age comes experience and maturity which leads us to (think) before we say "yes". (One has to truly know themself, what they want and need from a mate before they (decide) if someone has those traits). You are responsible for your own happiness! If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? It's a waste of time and energy to curse the red onion for not being an apple. Ideally we learn to become better (shoppers) in the store of love. :-)
I think that using your head in love works both ways. Yes it is true that when we are in love our judgement can be compromised and we might make choices that we might not otherwise, but using our head can also stop us from moving forward in a relationship as well.
Over thinking things can prevent our hearts from getting to close to another not giving us a chance to feel what could be if we would just let them in. On the other hand we might change ourselves and do things that we would not normally do in order to please the other person, because our minds think that if we could please them then they will stay.
I guess there needs to be a balance between the mind and the heart. We should follow our hearts and go with the flow. We should be true to who we are without compromising our morals but not over think to the point where we push others away.
When you are in love you just don't loose your heart, you loose your head too! That's why it's so hard to use one because it's simply not there
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