Do you confide in people completely or hold a little bit back?
I always think it’s better to hold something back about oneself, (when not talking to close family) so, if anything goes wrong, you don’t feel vulnerable – feeling, as if they have part of your life in their hands. Any thoughts on this?
I hold back a little. Some things I feel not everyone needs to know about me. Besides, anyone who tells everything to everyone isn't always that interesting.
I think you should be discrete or keep a distances when communicating with some people because not all people have compassionate thoughts for you..
Amen, flash.....on the contrary...."most people" want reason to judge and point fingers. I say, don't give them that option.
You impressed me fpherj48 by writing that because it is the truth!
I avoid telling too much if anything about myself, my life story is no one's business but my own, I'm not interested in telling it, and I'm not interested in hearing another's life story.
I will only disclose what is prudent and then leave the rest to one's imagination. I tend to be a private person who enjoys privacy. The other issue is the trustworthiness of the parties in question. If people were more trustworthy and honorable, I would be more open to disclosure. But, as things are, I am happy to remain a man of mystery.
There is no secret between my wife and I. We enjoy our open conversation and entertain ourselves being truthful.
I always saw a crossroads here. On one side, I would like the impossible... for someone to know all of me. These days not even family really does. I don't think it should be a opportunity given to everyone you come across. That being said, if you happen to be chosen by me, I don't feel vulnerable because I accept my past completely. If I am not ashamed about it than no one else is given the power to shame me.
I have been fortunate in that the few that know the most about me have never let me go. Relationships have changed because that is what life does but I pulled them into me and love them always and they choose to stay there... loved.
NO ONE has a right, nor the power to shame you..unless you allow it. Most people would do well, to tend to their own history. Keep this in mind before you divulge anything to anyone.
I agree with you completely but the fact is that people do lots of things they have no business or right to do. There are a huge amount of people who believe that judging others is the way to improve themselves.
Moms-Secret......I follow what you say.....sounds like you think there are a lot of people who like to know what's negative and bad about others..so they will seem better? That's SAD as hell!
I make it seem like I tell everyone everything, but I actually hold back most info. Nobody even thinks to ask questions when they "know" that they "know."
I tend to hold back, because some people can't be trusted. There was one person I could tell anything though, but we're not together anymore.
Asian cultures believe that each person has three faces. One is the public face we wear among strangers. Another is the face our friends and families see. The third face is the one no one sees. Seems like a practical approach to me.
Lady_E.......All due respect, why are you "confiding" in PEOPLE? WHO do you refer to when you say, "people." .... Friends? associates? co-workers? romantic partners?
I'm not sure that I would advise nor encourage anyone to self-disclose much of anything about yourself, your life and/or history without a high degree of trust and a solid bond with a person. There is no reason whatsoever for individuals to blab to just anyone. No one needs to feel compelled to kneel before a confessional.
We all have a right to privacy (whatever privacy we have left in this world) and you need to remember, if someone needs to know too much about you...perhaps it is THEY who has something to hide.....Keep a lid on some things. It doesn't hurt to be protective of your self. In fact, it's a very good idea.
This brings me to the second thing that I agree with. Be selective in who you choose.
Best rule of thumb? Develop the practice of discussing "ideas"....impressive events and matters of general interest & importance. I can't think of anything more useless or mundane, than discussing each other....or anyone else, for that matter!
I like huckleberry's answer, and it describes what I have found works for me. I am a creative and complex person. I used to be completely open. But I met with a lot of incomprehension, and more than a little fear and attack. I am completely honest, but I only share what it feels safe to share, and that is different for each person. Some people are supportive of my creativity and not my spirituality, and vice-versa. So I protect my inner heart and creative process. But I don't hide the fact that I do that. Everyone who knows me knows that there is more to discover, an endless array of surprises as they stay with me. And I think we're all like that.
I hold back, I think just about everyone does at least somewhat.
Depending upon the person, I share what is needed. The truth is what is essential in sharing. People will read into what you say whatever they desire if they do not know how to listen well.
There are very few people that I confide in completely. I share more with some than I do with others. Some I tell things to in a general sense but there are very few that I share all of the nitty gritty with.
I try to hold back, but I will tell my business if I see it as a way of helping others. I'm at a point in life where I care very little what people think about me in terms of judging. I understand that all humans have issues...hidden or not.
I confide too easy in anyone even though I have a sense for good and bad people.
I don't feel vulnerable very easily, I can get naive for sharing too much private information with strangers and if I get hurt for sharing something intimate, I move on and hold back a little bit more.
I tend to hold back but occassionally I will suddenly feel drawn to confide more in someone than I actually intended or planned to do. (Things just kinda spill out of my mouth without without forethought !!!)
Luckily I have not come unstuck with this or divulged anthing too embarrassing, YET.
I hope we are allowed to comment on our Questions. I just want to say "thank you" to everyone who took time to leave a comment. It was useful. (When we have challenges, it's natural that we find one person to confide in for advice).
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