Tell them what's on your mind or wait until you calm down to let them know how you feel?
When you get upset with a person do you go ahead and tell them what's on your mind or do you wait until you have calmed down to express how you feel?
Unfortunately, I have a bad temper and say things that I regret later. Even if it is justified I still feel guilty. I am praying that God will help me with this fault in my character.
I completely understand. I think my delivery could be better a lot of times when I say certain things such as there may be a way to say it. I pray for help with calming down before I speak also. Thanks for the comment
I wait until I have calmed down to discuss it that way I can make sense and not just spew a bunch of anger. But I don't really have a hot temper, I am slow to anger.
I have learned that's its easier to calm down first and what I say will make more sense. I'm still working on doing this every time. Thanks for your answer
I believe it's possible to articulate why you are upset with someone without exploding. What determines whether or not I address an issue at the moment depends on (where) we are or who may be with us.
Sometimes people want to "go off" on a person for (ego) reasons to show the other person how "tough or strong" they can be. Very often this puts the other person on the defensive and may cause them to fight fire with fire. It's important to figure out your "outcome goal" before you speak. Are you looking to be understood or you seeking to "punish" or "teach them a lesson". There is an old quote that states:
"Anger is the mask that Hurt wears"
Most of the time if someone loves you they will not "intentionally" seek ways to hurt you. Odds are if you let them know they hurt you by doing whatever they'll offer a sincere apology. Yelling and screaming rarely leads to a (sincere) apology or understanding.
It depends how angry or upset I am. If I am just slightly upset, i.e. the judgement is not clouded, then I tell the right away. If furious, then, I'll wait to calm down and talk to that person. I also write down how I feel and why. Afterwards the person will hear the thoughts and explanations written on paper; as well as from person who is reasonable.
I have heard to write it down first also. I haven't used this method yet but I really do see how it can make a difference. Thanks!
I try hard to find a calm place to think things over and look at all sides of the issue. I have had to learn balance. I have gotten at times way too compliant and calm about things that I should have yelled, screamed about, and just spoken up. There has to a balance, make sure that you don't remain silence in your fear of making an outburst. But I guess that is part of the whole balance thing.
I agree with needing balance. Thanks for your answer!
It depends on who I'm talking to. I've had times where I wished I would have thought things through and calmed down before speaking my mind. But I've had other times where I wished I would have spoken up sooner and truly expressed how I was feeling at that given time to get my point across better. Every situation calls for different action.
by Michael Valencia 10 years ago
Is it better to marry when you're younger (20's) or wait until your 30's or 40's?
by Charlu 10 years ago
If you had it to do over again would you wait until you were married or did you wait?There seems to have been a growing trend in waiting these past few years and was just wondering if you didn't wait and had it to do over again would you wait until your wedding day, or did you wait and was it worth...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 8 years ago
What are the TEN BEST reasons for a person to wait until he/she is in his/hermiddle to late 30s to become a parent?
by Eugene Hardy 11 years ago
Should parents advise their children to adstain from sex until age 24?This the advice I give to my kids. It I not from an ideological view, but one of economic practicality.By age 24 you should done training or attending school, wiser, and better able to support their children, if any.
by Charlu 10 years ago
Do you go to the doctor at the drop of a hat, wait until your half dead, or somewhere in the middle?
by Audrey Selig 5 years ago
How do you handle a close relative who keeps putting you down for no reason?
Copyright © 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2023 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|