Love versus In Love - Is there truly a difference?

1. 81

   Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years ago

   I once read an analogy that described loving someone versus being in love with them. It read that loving someone was like going to the beach, admiring the view, but never going in the water. Conversely, being in love was like diving head first into the water, letting the waves crash against your body, tasting the salt of the ocean on your lips, and floating endlessly without a care, with the sun on your face.
   
   I submit to the void, is there truly a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? And if so, is the difference as great as the analogy would imply?

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2. 59

   TammyKposted 15 years ago

   yes, i think there is a difference. 
      
       When you love someone you might consider their feelings, but still you do want you want, even if you know that it will hurt them. 
   
       When you are in love, you again consider their feelings, but you might not do what you want to because you don't want to hurt them

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   1. 81

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Is that to say, that when being in love someone, one chooses to swallow their pride and react in ways that is the opposite of their initial insticts?

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3. 59

   Stimpposted 15 years ago

   Yes there is a difference between loving someone and being IN love with them.  And, I will give you an example.  I was once IN LOVE.....very deeply IN love with my first husband.  We grew apart, we divorced, he moved away...blah blah blah.  I am now with another man whom I am very much in love with.  BUT I do know for a fact, that if I were in trouble, Rick (my first hubby) would be there.  So, I love him....but I am not IN love with him.  He is a wonderful friend, but that charisma or spark just wasn't there anymore, we knew it and moved on away from one another. 
   
   It can be as easy to fall OUT of love as it is to fall IN love.  And so to stay IN love, takes some work.

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   1. 81

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Would you say that the chemistry between you and your first husband is still there?

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      1. 59

         Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Nope, not at all.  We adopted several pets during our marriage from 1992 till 1998.  He took one dog with him, I kept one and I kept 2 cats.  the dog he took passed a year ago at the age of 18, my dog just passed last march at the age of 17, and the surviving cat at age 15 just passed a few months ago.  It was weird.....I called him crying because that cat was the last of "our" brood....the last of the past.  No chemistry but there is nothing connecting us to one another except our friendship.  We love to chit chat on the phone and he (aside from my fiance) is one of maybe two people in my life that I trust would take my secrets to his grave and I, his.  But do I want to "sleep" with him....no not at all.

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         1. 81

            Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I think it's great that the two of you can continue to be friends. Not an easy task once the relationship changes.

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         2. 61

            caravalhophotoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Awesome relationship...I am friends with my 1st husband, but it didn't happen until my daughter was 18...he called and started complaining about something...I gave him her number and said we didn't need to talk anymore.  It was when I got BC that he was there, in his own way of course, we were just young and stupid, but have no desire for him other than to be happy.

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            1. 61

               caravalhophotoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Oh...we do not have the same friendship that you and your ex share...your relationship is awesome.

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4. 61

   caravalhophotoposted 15 years ago

   Huge difference...although I believe there are many different feelings and degrees of love, it is a more simple feeling, it is just natural and lasts a lifetime.
   
   Being "in love" is new, lust, can't get enough of, a void the minute you walk out the door, wonder...more complicated once you find but easier to walk away from...feelings usually drop to the level of I care about you...simple, but I'm not "in love" with you...complicated, honeymoon is over, one foot out the door.
   
   As my Grandmother would say: Staying "in love" is hard work, compromises must be made, but she has never fallen out of love with Pops, even with all HIS faults...

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   1. 81

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I have to get where Grandmother is as at some point!!

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5. 0

   reeltaulkposted 15 years ago

   I believe that there is a humungas difference between  the two.  When you are in love it's unconditional in an entirely different way.  You are indeed considerate, very forgiving, you tend to have patience when it comes to understanding and you make sacrifices that require loss on your part without a fret.  Some call it stupidity but indeed it is Love.  Many people fail to realize the power behind true Love, when two individual find this within each other it can be very supernatural/magical!

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   1. 81

      Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't have said it better myself!!

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