How can you best help a male family member to get out of an abusive relationship

1. 81

   Magdeleneposted 12 years ago

   How can you best help a male family member to get out of an abusive relationship?
   
   There is seriously damaging physical and emotional abuse taking place, how can you help them to see the light of day? Can't seem to talk sense into him, what are you supposed to do?
   
   

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2. 0

   JThomp42posted 12 years ago

   This is very serious. A woman can come to the point of taking one's life just as an abusive man is capable of. I would tell him to get away from her right away and to get a restraining order. It only takes one true act of violence and he is out of your life forever. I have unfortunately seen this happen. The woman was bi-polar and not taking her medication.

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   1. 81

      Magdeleneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The only problem is he won't listen and he keeps on going back. Many people are trying to help him and he just won't stand up for himself. He keeps hoping things will change for the better.

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   2. 0

      JThomp42posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm just praying he doesn't wait until it is too late.

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Life is a personal journey.
   You can't help someone who does not want help. If you are unhappy in a relationship and you (choose) to stay then (you) are choosing to be unhappy. People who have low self-esteem tend not to have boundaries or "deal breakers" in their relationships. Oftentimes men are too embarrassed to call the police.
   You can provide your family member with information but ultimately he is going to have to make the call to get help. Personally speaking I would tell him not to waste my time if he complains but does nothing to change his life. If however he does decide to break free let him know you're available to help. Here are some resources. Best of luck!
   http://dahmw.org/services
   http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domesti … -women.htm
   http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/vi … d-men.aspx
   http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/index.htm

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   1. 81

      Magdeleneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately I'm going to have to agree with you dashingscorpio, it is all up to him, it's just really hard to sit and watch as all of this unravels. But, I definitely see your point, thanks for your input, both JThomp and Dashing.

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4. 60

   K J Pageposted 12 years ago

   There are no simple answers to this question. Caught myself in an abusive relationship, my first question was - why am I who I am in order to be here?  The answer is inside of me. I looked back to my childhood years to find the source of the lack of self confidence that had kept me quiet, reserved, submissive, fearful, reluctant, stagnant and confined for most of my life.  And I wrote a book about it called - Inside the Circle.

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