Should females try & make a abusive relationship work?

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  1. profile image49
    Layne Redposted 7 years ago

    Should females try & make a abusive relationship work?

  2. Tusitala Tom profile image65
    Tusitala Tomposted 7 years ago

    The picture shows something greater than an 'abusive relationship' but from it I deduce you mean, should a woman put up with a man who uses physical violence as a form of intimidation.  My answer: "No." 

    If a man loses his temper to the point where he perhaps slaps his wife once and then, feels enormous remorse and does not ever do it again.  And time reveals that he has not and probably will not, then perhaps the one 'mind snap,' can be forgiven.   If it happens again, then yet again - get out of the relationship.  For once a particular action has become habitual, it would take professional help and the will to change before the man actually did change.   And maybe he never would.

    Mind you, although most abuse comes from men towards women - particularly if the woman is intellectual brighter and quicker with words, there are occasions when women are the abusers and men the victim.   It's less so, but it does occur.

    In many cases, economic security is the rationalization to stay together.   Sometimes it seems, I expect, that there is no way out.  There always is, of course.  It becomes a matter of "Will I take the risk."  And that is a question that can only be asked by the person who is experiencing the abuse.

  3. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

    What?! WWWhat? WHAAAT?!!!! Are you kidding me? Seriously now.  No woman should stay in an abusive relationship.   There are better options for her.  Women who stay in abusive relationships are foolish to the point of stupid.  Such women have little or no self-respect.  If they did, they wouldn't stay in abusive relationships.  They should leave at the FIRST SIGN of abuse.  Again, there are BETTER OPTIONS & LIFE CHOICES for them if they woman up, assess the negativity/toxicity of such "relationships" & leave like bats out of hell!

  4. tamarawilhite profile image86
    tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

    If you are being physically abused, the answer is NO, leave, get counseling to find out why you tolerated the physical abuse to this point so you don't end up with a different abusive man or return to the same one.
    If you are emotionally abused or think you are, get counseling to see whether this is a problem with communication, enabling an addict, bad relationship dynamics or something else. But get counseling from a counselor that isn't going to jump in and blame him for everything, because many bad relationships have aspects where she needs to change, too.

  5. FatFreddysCat profile image94
    FatFreddysCatposted 7 years ago

    Good Lord, no. Whether you're male or female, if your "significant other" is abusing you,get the hell away from there. End of discussion.

  6. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 7 years ago

    There should never be abuse of any kind in a relationship, man or woman.  The fact that abuse is occurring, renders any possible relationship null & void.  There is no making it work!  The only action to take is to remove yourself from the situation, take measures to insure your protection & safety.  Cease all contact with the abuser.  Go forward with your life and do not look back.  Just do it.  Paula

  7. dashingscorpio profile image79
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    If by "work" you mean expecting their mate to "change" the answer is NO! I know there are those who will tell you:
    "When I said until death do us part I meant it." That's a cop out.
    If you want something different (you) have to do something different.
    Every mentally healthy person should have boundaries and "deal breakers". My advice is secretly plan & execute an escape strategy.
    There are over 7 Billion people on this planet surly one has to believe there are others who would make a more ideal mate for them.
    "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
    - Oscar Wilde
    If someone is abusing you they clearly don't think you're all that "special". Its been said:
    "The Greatest Love of All Is Learning To Love Yourself."
    You are obligated to look out for yourself.
    The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!

  8. ElenasModels profile image60
    ElenasModelsposted 7 years ago

    If you found yourself in an abusive relationship, clearly there is a problem and you need help. Call domestic violence hotline and talk to them, that's the first step.

    It's hard to give advice whether the person should immediately get out or stay and try to make it work.

    Some people may say, "Get out now" but without preparation, this could only aggravate the situation and put a woman's life under threat. There were cases where women left abusive partners and were killed because there wasn't a system in place to prevent further abuse.
    So, I once again want to repeat:

    "Get help from groups that understand what abuse is and how to sort it out correctly."

    In some cases, women have children, and this has to be taken into account, too.

    Abusive males may be actually able to change. There were a few high-profile cases where men admitted being wrong, took courses that assist male abusers in changing their patterns of behaviour, and successfully reformed, with the help of their female partners.

    Even an emergency escape needs planning. You may not be able to think about everything but women protection groups have seen it all. They will be able to give you tips what needs to be done.

    Each person's situation is unique. Take steps to protect yourself and put your mind on finding the right solution. Even if you are simply dating the abuser, it may be worth to talk to a specialist to ensure the decision to break up won't hurt you or your loved ones.

  9. short lady profile image73
    short ladyposted 7 years ago

    My belief is never. Even if the abuse is not physical, emotional abuse is degrading over the years, tends to be too insidious to make real change in, and requires constant, intense WILLINGNESS by the abusive partner to commit to real change (which is rarely possible when a partner is emotionally abusive). Many times, this type of behavior is accompanied by personality disorders that are extremely deep-rooted and can take a lifetime to alter. It is always likely the abuse will return or worsen - eventually becoming physical - and the damage left on the victim is often impossible to fully heal.

    And, of course, physical abuse is unacceptable 100% of the time.


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