What do you say to a guy who was gay, but is deciding to go straight?

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   MarieAlana1posted 12 years ago

   What do you say to a guy who was gay, but is deciding to go straight?
   
   How do you support a friend if they were gay for several years, but is now deciding to go straight?

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   apimentel33posted 12 years ago

   I almost think that sounds strange, "deciding to go gay." I always felt it wasn't exactly a decision but part of someone's internal being. In other words, is being gay really a choice? Or are people just born that way? I tend to lean toward the belief that people are born that way. Maybe some people do it as a choice, who knows. I would support a friend in anything they wanted to do though (as long as it wasn't something illegal or harmful to someone else, of course).

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      MarieAlana1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! This is good advice.

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I don't think one (decides) to be straight or gay. I have always been a heterosexual male attracted to women. There was no point where I flipped a coin or "decided" to be straight. Your friend may decide to date women but most likely his heart, thoughts, and fantasies will be into men.
   I'm not even certain there really are bisexuals. Most bisexuals are probably homosexuals/lesbians living in denial. As equal rights for gay/lesbians including marriage are accepted (under the law) I believe you will see a reduction in the number of people who consider themselves to be "bisexual".  My advice is be true to yourself!

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      Lanzskieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I too agree!

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   FatFreddysCatposted 12 years ago

   I'd tell him or her to make up their mind already.

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   Justsilvieposted 12 years ago

   The best support is to just keep being a friend and someone who is there for them without judgement!

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      MarieAlana1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      There without judgement, got it, but I feel bad for those who are judged.

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   KellyG05030posted 12 years ago

   I would tell my friend two words:  Be Happy.

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   Brandi Cooperposted 12 years ago

   You support them because that's their preference and it isn't something they can help. Being bisexual is just as unavoidable as being homosexual or heterosexual is; so even if that person had been in homosexual relationships for years, it is their prerogative and their right to be in a relationship with whoever they want to be in a relationship with - regardless of gender.

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      MarieAlana1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      This is good advice! Telling the friend that I support them no matter what decision they may choose because that is what is important to them. Staying true to oneself is more important than whoever they are with.

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   I.B.posted 12 years ago

   Do whatever you want and feel happy with. Thats the only thing that matters

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9. 63

   Lanzskieposted 12 years ago

   This is very interesting! To start with to be a 'gay' or 'straight' is never a choice. It is a 'self-deating' scenario that is extremely difficult to overcome. 'Bisexual' is a label to describe somebody who is confused and perhaps in self-denial. They use the term mainly as to gain respect from others. We have terminologies like discrete and floppy hand gay too so its a vague thing. Back to your friend, I personally do not think that will work out especially he has done for years. But like everyone here, support him/her and see what will happen!

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    Valorie Esquilonaposted 12 years ago

    wow, that's weird but I think you have to support his decisions.  well, that's a really hard but a good decision especially when that would make him happy.  and if I were you, I think I'm gonna marry him..no, just kidding!

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