What do you mean by "trust"?
Trust means many different things to different people. To one person it means "I believe you won't stab me in the back." For another, it means, "Sure, you can borrow my car. Here are the keys." I'm writing a hub about the many meanings of trust, and I'd like to hear your views. Is trust of a loved on different than trust of a friend, parent, or child? Is trust a thought or a feeling? In your life, what does it mean to trust someone, and how is that different from not trusting?
Trust to me is honesty. Just tell me the truth always or tell me it is none of my business or that you don't want to talk about it, but never lie to me. It applies to everyone; family, and friends. As soon as I know you have lied to me, then I begin to not trust.
So someone is trustworthy when they are honest. How does it feel to trust? If someone lies, can they regain your trust?
I have been trying that exact thing for 2 years now. Haven't felt the trust again yet. :<(
Trust is always a matter of degrees. It's a calculated gamble.
When a light turns green you trust the drivers in the other cars are not going to run their red light and smash into you.
If you are eating a meal in a restaurant and decide to sprinkle some salt or pepper on your meal you trust that there is no bio-chemical or poison in those containers left by the previous diners. The same holds true of products you purchase at the grocery store.
If we did not allow ourselves to have "automatic trust" throughout the day we'd go absolutely mad trying to analyze every detail before making any decisions.
Trust is often an assumption we make based upon whom we are dealing with. A child generally assumes his or her parents are looking out for their best interest.
The trust we apply to friends and romantic relationships should wisely come after those individuals have (demonstrated) honesty and integrity overtime. Anyone who gives their trust away to everyone they meet is a dream come true for any conman!
Trust is like the father throws the child up and the child is smiling, not has the fear of falling because the child trusts his father that he will catch his child. Its the best definition of trust to me.
Trust is something you willingly hand to someone and "trust" them to hold it, cherish it, and not break it. They chip away a little bit of the trust handed to them by either:
1) breaking a promise,
2) betraying you,
3) hurting you,
4) engaging in deceptive or suspicious behavior, or
5) "falling from grace" beset by agreed upon expectations.
I define trust as a two-way concept that is ideally given "whole" then broken down over time, by our human failings and weaknesses. In a relationship, we work to maintain trust, rebuild broken trust or create new trust.
Thank you Janshares. Your thinking matches mine. Trust is given, but only maintained by trustworthiness on the other side. For me, it doesn't only break down. In my view, it can be build up, and also renewed by apology & forgiveness. -see hub on
Sid, you're right for trying to define different kinds of trust. There was a trust I didn't know I was capable of losing (and it's very, very difficult to define). It happened when my husband left for another woman. It wasn't that I couldn't trust him again. (Oddly enough, if he had returned, I think I could have. It's a long story). The trust I lost was kind of global, I'd say. When my little family fell apart, I was utterly shocked. It was as if everything I knew as true, wasn't.
I "trusted" I was a wonderful wife. Obviously, I reasoned, I couldn't have been.
I "trusted" that when I left home in the morning, everything would be the same when I came home in the afternoon. (After my husband left, I would get what I called separation anxiety. It was as if I needed to hurry home so that my daughter would be safe. I couldn't trust that she would be.)
I couldn't trust that I was loveable or desireable or even good. I certainly couldn't trust other women! (but that again, is a different more frivilous kind of trust).
The deeper kind of trust I lost probably even included trust in God. Having a loving, intact family could only be a good. My prayers and pleas and tears and screams when no one could hear, went unheard. There could be absolutely no rational reason for this to befall my family, so trust in good overcoming evil was gone out the window.
I certainly couldn't trust the love of another man again for a long time. If a person I was dating was working late, I was certain it meant he really didn't want to be with me.
I could go on and on, but the best way I can describe that kind of trust that I had lost, some 20 years ago, was a global holistic sense of trust. It's effects are cutting and it makes one a bit of a cynic, but a very strong person.
Katy, I'm honored by your honest sharing. I see the trust you are referring to as a spiritual trust, and your experience of the failure of the marriage as a spiritual crisis. I'm glad you survived & grew strong. I use meditation in similar situat
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