Have you experienced a long distance relationship? What did you do to make it last?
My wife and I have been married 33 years. We met on a blind date. She lived in New Orleans and I lived in Morgan City, LA (about a two hour drive.) We had no cell phones, MaBell had not been broken up and reassembled and there was no e-mail or taxting -- we are taking 1979.
I went to New Orleans every weekened possible and stayed with a friend. We trade letters at least twice a week and as we got closer to the wedding, we did our best to help push up the value of AT&T stocks. We met in July of 1979. I proposed in January of 1980, were married in July 1980 and celebrate our 33 anniversary next week. I knew the day I met my wife I was going to marry her. Took me a few months to convince her that she was going to marry me.
Honestly, I smiled reading your story. Having a blind date is cool, full of surprises. I guess having long distance relationship without active communication like SMS and emails is hard. Best wishes for you and your wife on your 33rd anniversary!
Thank you. You would be surprised at how much more a sentence written in longhand says than a text or email. However, cell phones would had been nice back then--I think we help build a new AT&T building somewhere with our combined phone bills.
My situation was slightly similar to Larry's. I met my wife after posting on the same Internet forum. I lived in the south of the island, and she lived in the north coast (about an hour and a half drive). I also tried to visit every weekend and made the most of the visits, phone calls, IM's, and e-mails. We've been married almost 7 years now.
But I never was on a long-distance relationship where we were in different countries.
Seems like distance is not a barrier to a relationship nowadays due to the advancement of communications technology. Glad to hear that it went to a very successful marriage! Thanks for dropping by.
Hello Thief12. Even though across an isle & not across an ocean you share hope. Thank you. IM is foreign to me, phone expensive & a visit may be a lifetime event so timing may be critical if not moving. I see research ahead of me. thanks
Yes. I ended up relocating from California to the Midwest.
You must first define what is "making a long distance relationship work." Do you mean it leads to a marriage or is it just a certain amount of time as in a year, two years, or three years...etc?
The vast majority of couples in long distance relationships have no timeline or plan for when they will be together permanently. Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary. The goal is to be with the person you love. When there is no "count down" towards the day when one person moves it's likely one of you will eventually want to throw in the towel. Visits, phone calls, emails, and Skype are no substitute for being there in the (long run).
A long distance relationship without “a light at the end of the tunnel” is likely to fail. It’s the counting down the months, weeks, and days until you are finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long distance relationship that keeps it strong. The only reason for being in a long distance relationship is the belief she or he might be “the one”. If you’re just passing the time with someone you might as well do that locally. One man's opinion! :-)
Yes, you're right, having a plan is really important for a long distance relationship. Well, what I really want to ask is this: what did you do to make the relationship last long, and end up to marriage. Thank you so much!
jemuelO, It's not about what "you do" but rather how "you feel". If two people (feel) they are "in love" they will make plans to be together as soon as possible. Until then they visit, call, write/email, SKYPE, mail gifts. Within a year I moved!
Hello dashingscorpio defintions are important with relationships of any type - personal, business & etc. I ponder the past considering before the telegraph yet after the pony express & the Calif gold rush. I ponder as maybe a hopeless romanti
Mine's a slightly different story. We were classmates since elementary up to high school. We got together the summer before college. However, I went to a University far from my hometown while he stayed behind. I would be home for a whole weekend every month and we would catch up.We communicated via text messaging, calls, video chat and the like. I never felt like anything was wrong. But then, he often got mad when I don't respond to text messages immediately, or when I fall asleep during a text conversation. There were also times when I didn't feel like going home because I had so much stuff to do. It was an 8-hour travel from my university to my hometown. He said we should end it and I said okay without even asking why. I guess we were both just immature. Maybe the distance played a factor. We were together for 8 months and he dumped me three days before my birthday. I can't really say I gave it my all or did everything I could to make it last, but right now, all I can say is that I'm happy that we broke up because I am now with a very loving man who deserves me as much as I deserve him.
Your story is very common! So many high school sweethearts go to distant colleges and end up breaking up. The reality is it was unrealistic to expect teenage students to cut themselves off from people and social activities on campus because of LDR
yeah, i see that now. that's why i was saying that maybe we were too immature then, because we just blindly went for it without even considering all the other factors.
Mostly happens to teenagers who happen to be in a long distance relationship. With that age I guess, LDR is difficult to work cause there are so many things to focus on like studies. Both parties are immature that's why it ends up easily.
I've had a few but they didn't come to good ends.
I had a relation with a woman in Kyrgyzstan that lasted about a year. We wrote hundreds of letters talked a few times, though she didn't know English and I don't speak Russian. But it ended rather badly and I've never been back in contact with her.
I lived in China and while back in the states I met a girl online. We seemed to really hit it off well. When I returned to China we met and things seemed to be going very well. I made it very clear that I was going to live in China and that she should not think of me as a way to come to the US.
After 6 months we got married but within a month things were unraveling and we ended up divorcing after 1 year.
I had others but none really worked out.
I lived in Colombia for 3 years and met lots of girls online, had dates with many and flings with some. But there was one long distance one that seemed the most promising yet proved to be disappointing in the end.
Now I live in the Philippines I have a PH GF who I met online and we have been together for a little over a year. But it wasn't long distance. As to whether it will work out in the long run I can't say.
I am a big believer in online dating, I think its a great thing and I wish it had been around when I was younger, though I had some great GFs back in the days. It just expands your chances of contact by so much and, if everyone is honest, works great.
BTW the place I found to be the least honest is the US. So it doesn't work as well there. But things have changed much since I used it in the US, mostly due to video chatting which makes lying about appearance and age much harder, maybe it has improved. But not according to my US friends who use it.
I met my husband when I was working overseas. When I came back to Australia a few months later, he was quickly on a plane to visit me. He extended his visit until I married him. When you really don't want to be apart, you make the decision to be together - no matter how inconvenient it may seem. I already had kids at the time so packing up and moving to the other side of the world was a major undertaking.
Over the past 20 years we've lived in his country and we've lived in mine. We decided we'd rather have long distance relationships with our parents and friends than with each other.
Best decision we ever made!
Oh man I guess I'm gonna reveal my love story here. Lol. Anyway, I met my husband on the internet...I was in Philippines, he's in India. And our long distance relationship lasted for 3 and 1/2 years then I came to India and yeah, about 6 years of being married so far. We have our moments (who doesn't, right?) but we get through! Guess we don't like the chaotic procedures of divorce or we just get along quite fine.
Long distance relationships do work as long as you have similar values, principles and outlook in life, goals in the future. Being handsome or beautiful, being generous or kind, respectful are not just enough. Many men or women have those qualities. What is unique in that person which happens to be in you too matters!
Hey Astralrose! I guess I posted this question to reveal your love story here on HP. Lol. Honestly I asked it here to know how possible is to have a long distance relationship which ends to marriage. Well, it depends on many factors as you said.
Hello Astralrose. I gleaned hope & more from you. I have a long distance relationship with a dear friend. We are supportive of each other with endeavors & daily struggles. I would like to relocate living near yet separate. 3-1/2 yrs offers ho
I am currently in a long distance, kinda sorta.. My boyfriend and the love of my life is living in New York for three months (which for us is a long time). It was so easy at first, and we kept expecting the days to fly by, they didn't. It does suck to not have that person by your side at every moment. But that makes the times that you do get to see them, that much more special.
It is all about trust. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything. If you over think (like me) then you are automatically thinking of every "what if" that could happen. It is scary and I do worry, but then we reassures me and comforts me when I have those crazy times.
As long as you can trust your partner 100%, you can survive any distance for any amount of time.
We (John and Kate) began a long distance relationship in 1977. I am from Canada and my "aine true love" Kate is from the Southern United States. It is no longer a long distance relationship (after all, these must eventually evolve to survive), now we have been together in the Sacrament of Marriage since May of 1984. So one could argue that our long distance relationship lasted 7 years (until our Wedding Day took care of that 7-year itch).
I truely believe our relationship is held together by the Grace of God; especially as I matured from a significantly immature 17 year-old hockey playing freak to a more mature (yet immature) 30 year old when our first child was born. Now that I am 26 for the 2nd time and still a hockey playing freak, I have eradicated considerable immaturity although don't ask my better-half about that...
It has been like a roller-coaster ride spewed with both numerous ups and downs. Yet I believe it is that most tangible love that glues us together especially during the infamous and common peak and valley phases. Is it the peak and valley phases that truely strengthen the bond or weaken them? Perhaps, if couples focus on these phases, develop a survival plan (before the issues) one could minimize the impact on the relationship... Maybe, just maybe when I am older I will understand this better...
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