How do you recognize the difference between true assistance and mental control when someone is
trying to tell you to change your ways?
Close friends easily express their feelings about situations that present themselves as difficulties within the relationship.
However, it is often very difficult to determine what is really their basis of expression.
Do you feel comfortable in this type of situation or do you reject such input? Do you think that friends should always tell the truth about damaging activities? Should this include speaking about their weight, boyfriends or girl friends, cheating, and other activity you may deem harmful? How far should one go to protect a friend or stranger?
You are President & CEO of "Me, Inc." Your life is the end result of the choices and decisions (you) make. Follow advice that resonates with your gut instincts.
Friends, family, spouses, and significant others may offer advice or weigh in with their opinions BUT only you can know what is "right" for you. This also applies to people you are in contact with as well. People can't control you unless you are willing to give up control!
It's (your) life. Take the wheel!
You are responsible for your own happiness.
Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
I find it difficult to answer this question without being more specific. I mean, if my sister's husband was cheating, I'd tell her this: "I saw something suspicious and wanted to let you know...." But what motive would I have to control her mentally in that situation? As for friends, it would have to be a really close friend, like my BFF and there again, I would approach with "suspicion" not accusation.
If someone is harping on ME to change because let's say because THEY THINK my husband didn't like something...I would just go ask my husband if there was a problem. So again, I'm not sure if the question is specific enough for me to "get it".
I would not tell "acquaintance" friends of a cheating spouse, their weight or anything like that. I just feel like it's not my place. But if a close friend was very overweight and SHE brought it up, I would offer to go with her on her journey, whatever she wanted to do.
I was in a situation where I began to feel like my friend was controlling me. He is male and though his words didn't say it, and he didn't act superior I got the feeling like his assistance was all based on his "superiority".
It's very hard to answer you directly here since I don;t know the friend or the situation but I must say; when a friend is always trying to tell you what to do or making you feel like your way is wrong then they are trying to control you.
On the other hand I love a friend who can always tell me the truth; however if that friend is always telling me the negative truth then something is wrong. My friend should know when to say the truth and when to hold back.
Your instincts will come in handy here. If for any reason you start to feel that your friend has ulterior motives that's the time you should start assessing your friendship.
For me a friend is closer than a sibling. i should be able to tell him/her anything and not feel like they will use it against me. I should feel comfortable with my friend and not feel under his/her control. My friend allows me freedom to do what I want but will give advice, not commands.
I look for signs of a controlling friend such as:
"I told you to forget that guy!" this is a friend trying to control you.
"I know it's hard to forget him but he may hurt you again." This is a friend who is on your side but not trying to control the situation.
Well most often when someone has an issue with weight, or boyfriends etc...THEY ALREADY KNOW.
When someone has the urge to "guide" a friend for their own good, it is often more about the person wanting to give guidance...they want to control and tell the other person how to live.
I think a true friend listens, supports, and will venture an honest opinion on those subject if and when they are asked.
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