How do you cope with braggers?
People talk about their successful lives but when a bragger won't stop about his life what do you do?
This is certainly very annoying. When I can, I usually just leave and find a real human being to talk with. It usually does not take long for a compulsive bragger to reveal himself. If you are unable to leave the presence of that person (like at my job), just being silent is all you can do sometimes. Some braggers will quit when they figure out that no one is interested. For those that keep talking...well...just do your best. ;-)
Braggers only want us to know about what they can do and how they got to be there thank you for answering this question
Sometimes others' "bragging" is only in the "eye of the beholder". More accurately, in the mind of the insecure and/or overly self-centered "beholder" who doesn't understand where the other person is really "coming from".
I imagine it depends on what your relationship with the braggart is.
If it is a close family member, it may be possible to pull them aside and let them know that bragging can be a tedious and unattractive trait. This can be done politely, of course, and without cruelty. Point out that while it is human nature for us to sometimes talk about our successes, humility is a very attractive quality. If speaking to them about it fails to make an impression on them, you may be left with the choice of saying "I had no idea the world revolved around you." the next time they start bragging. At the very least, this reminds them that their bragging is out of control.
If the family member is an elderly person, however, you may have to face the prospect the trait is possibly too ingrained to change.
If the braggart is a co-worker, the situation may be more problematic to deal with. If you can ignore them, this would be best, but if it is an employer, you might just have to endure it while you are at work. In this case I'd say look upon it as part of your work atmosphere. Unless the bragging is interfering with your work, they really are not part of your life and their imaginary world should never come home with you.
If the braggart is just an acquaintance, I'd suggest just ignoring them altogether. Whenever we give attention to bragging, this reinforces the braggart's belief they are impressing others. And in the case of an acquaintance, you have no obligation whatsoever to give them that "audience".
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this person!
"People who claim to have done great things do very little to prove it", a great man once said. The way to do it is either to ignore it or show that you don't care, rather than get them to fuel their lust for themselves. I love hearing people's accomplishments and show it, but when they do it constantly - especially when done to make themselves feel better - it just needs to be ignored. I should know this because I swear I used to be a compulsive liar, constantly bragging about stuff that never happened seeing as I had absolutely nothing at all interesting about my existence. If that's the case, it might be of use to give people the means of feeling better rather than rolling your eyes and shaking your head. I suppose it depends on the situation.
Find a way to ignore or shun the bragging or accept it and move on changing the subject. A bragger is usually seeking special attention and glory.
When I get tired of hearing a person brag, I usually turn off the rap song.
But on the occasion this person's voice is not coming through your speakers but is, in fact, in your office, in your house, or next to you on your date, I would suggest a different method.
You know this person is insecure. Confident people do not brag about how great they are; they let their actions and their peers speak for them. Depending how much you care about this loud, insecure person, you could go about addressing the issue in a couple ways.
1. Call the person out, but not in a mean way. I went on a date with a guy who was way too into himself. He told me he was the best singer ever. He said some other over-the-top things that I don't recall now. Then he asked me what I looked for in a guy. I told him one of my greatest pet peeves is when a guy talks about how great he thinks he is. I went on to describe how it is very unattractive, it makes a guy sound stupid and insecure, and how it is an instant turn off. I didn't say it with a bad attitude, just in a casual, matter-of-fact way. He was quiet after that.
2. Look extremely uninterested. No smiles. No eye contact. Maybe an occassional "mmhmmm." Get everyone in your office, house, date to do this, and you have successfully shunned the bragger. This is the passive aggressive method. You may or may not be solving the issue, but eventually this person will stop talking to you.
3. If you see a close friend or child or parent is committing the crime, just explain how that's socially not okay, and that's not how you make friends. No one wants to hang out with someone who brags.
4. Just say something witty and sarcastic every time the person wants to talk about how great he or she is. I'm pretty sure the person will get the hint and see the truth in his or her own self.
Seems to me like "best singer ever" guy had a personality disorder that made bragging the least of the reasons not to hang out with him. I can't say I've ever met anyone who really is a big bragger. Not sure bragging's as common as some think.
I know of a bragger and he always says lots about himself as if he is the great achiever. Thank you for such an interesting answer about a bragger.
Hi DDE! Maybe they are trying to impress you, there just going about it the wrong way. It is not good to boast, we live in a society that boast about the wrong things. You are a humble person so it may be hard to withstand. And sometimes those that boast are insecure. In some ways it's kind of funny and annoying in the same breath. Ignoring an overly boastful person is the correct thing to do. Let others praise you. By the way I just got some new shoes that walk by themselves, do you want to see them? (Just kidding.) :-)
Braggarts are usually insecure people. If you have the time and desire to do so, you may want to take time to be friends with the bragger and find out why they need to brag and help them see they are good as they are and don't need to. But we aren't all counselors nor qualified to do things. Oftentimes, braggers are lonely people. It's kinda sad.
by thirdmillenium 8 years ago
There is a limit beyond which you can not endure. So what do you do?Hey make it braggarts
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