Did my boyfriend cheat on me with an escort?

1. 51

   lilly29posted 10 years ago

   Did my boyfriend cheat on me with an escort?
   
   I have been with my boyfriend a year now and we live together, the start of the relationship was rocky because I caught him sexting girls and he kept talk to other women he used to date, he said it would never happen again and he just didn't know how he felt at the time. Well a cupel of weeks ago I knew he was acting weird so I checked his phone and he was texting an escort asking prices. I left him and came back he swore blind that he didn't go into the escort house and he will do counselling as he has a problem with texting for a thrill, I don't know what to believe, any advise from men?

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2. 61

   MiloNowherepoemsposted 10 years ago

   My advice... It's not worth the stress and worry. I personally don't think you can trust him, based on everything I've read from you. Count your losses, count your blessings, and move on. This is coming from a faithful man. Take care.

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   1. 0

      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well said! God bless...

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   2. 61

      MiloNowherepoemsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you!

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   3. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      what can i only write a few lines on the comment is that normal or is there a way to write more? I am totally new to this

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3. 81

   mgeorge1050posted 10 years ago

   In my opinion, trust and mutual respect are the foundation of a healthy relationship.  A strong relationship can not be built on a weak foundation.

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      Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. How can she trust him, and have a relationship now

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   2. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes i know i should have walked away but i stupidly didn't so i let it go on to the point where he has spilled everything out to me and wants me to help him get better! I can't really explain it, its all my fault

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   3. 0

      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No it's not all your fault. Those are his actions. But he will only do what you allow so if you continue to allow him to manipulate you, that's what he'll do. Don't let him pass his deceit onto you as guilt.

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4. 74

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
   Your boyfriend did not cheat on you. You cheated yourself out of love! You stated; "the (start of the relationship was rocky) because I caught him sexting girls and he kept talking to other women he used to date."
   Where I come from we call these "red flags"!
   Generally speaking the "start" of a new relationship is filled with great times and not "rocky" times. Both people bend over backwards to impress and please one another. If your relationship started off with him "sexting girls" and talking to exes then you have only yourself to blame for (choosing) to become "emotionally invested". Move on!
   "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
   - Oscar Wilde
   Clearly if someone in a relationship with you is sexting, chatting up exes, and hooking up with escorts they don't think you are "special".
   There are over 7 Billion people on the planet and about half of them are men! Hopefully this experience will help you make better mate selections in the future. You're responsible for your happiness!

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   1. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      The thing thats stopping me from leaving is how he will be, he knows he has a problem and the last time i left him he couldn't do anything not even go to work he just cried all day, and everything in our house reminds him of me and the guilt he feels

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   2. 0

      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You first concern has to be how his behavior is affecting you - rather than placing his feelings before your own. He caused this - he has to fix it. Pacifying him will not help either one of you. He needs to be remorseful & maintain his self-cont

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   3. 74

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      lilly29, His life will go on without you just as it did before he met you! You are not his "savior".  It's normal for people to grieve after a breakup. Life is short and if you're serious about wanting a good guy you have to make room for one.

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   4. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That is what I am trying to keep in mind, but I am leaving him behind in our house with this guilt that he said he feels and sorrow and I know i will be happy in my new state being happy a. But I wouldn't wish those feelings ob my worst enemy

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   5. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I love how you explain things,and full respect for oscar wild, I am Irish!!!! I grew up with an alcaholic father and I remember like it was yesterday trying to change him as a child, Could i be repeating the same cycle as an adult with a sex addict.

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5. 0

   mothersofnationsposted 10 years ago

   Three are needed to have a genuine relationship:
   man, woman, and the Lord
   
   On Hubpages, look for author DashingScorpio - he writes about relationships and I'm sure it will benefit you tons. Definitely worth the time.
   
   God bless you.

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      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Lol! I didn't realize he already commented on here - I only saw the first answer when I decided to hit reply, but there you go!

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      mothersofnations , Thanks for the ringing endorsement!

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   3. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      haha! i realised that

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6. 59

   Link10103posted 10 years ago

   Aside from the relationship starting out rocky, which I don't think I have ever heard of happening ever with anyone (in the starting phases), the fact that you had to check his phone to begin with means you 2 should not be together. I see problems on both sides, you not being secure enough to give him some space and him apparently having some weird sexting fetish with exes while currently in a relationship.
   
   I think whether or not he cheated on you with an escort is besides the point. He doesnt seem to be the kind of guy to want to stay in a steady relationship, and you personally dont seem to be an entirely trusting person to be in a relationship.

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   1. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well i think I am too trusting to have continued the relationship with him in the first place

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      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes we tend to be too trusting or too hopeful. The issue is that unfortunately too many men think "If I got away with it the first time, then I'll probably get away with it again". You have to have boundaries and dont allow those to be crossed.

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   3. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I just can't get my head around the lies, how can people lie and cheat it's inhumane. And to be honest i just feel pitty for him, but i still care about him as a person and have grown an emotional attachment to his good side as a friend.

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   4. 0

      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      As a friend? How much of a friend is he being to you with the deceit? How much has he appreciated your good side? You have to look past his theatrical tears and do what's best for you. Project into the future: is that what you want to deal with 4ever

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7. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 10 years ago

   I would drop the guy stat, he could bring you a disease along with a lot of heartache
   Why would you even have to ask? Why would you put yourself through this humiliation?

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   1. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I never thought i could put myself through this to be honest,I am 29 and never took this s**T from anyone, but when i found everything out and he opened up to me and went to counselling i began to care about him as a friend

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      Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Good, just take your time, and don't rush in for now.
      It's good this happened now, instead of after marriage
      Good luck

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8. 78

   CuAllaidhposted 10 years ago

   Did he cheat on you with an escort, who knows, does it matter? In the end he cheated on you earlier on, if he tried to cheat this time, if he didn't actually cheat this time he almost definitely will in the future. It is not up to you to deal with his issues, he has to do that, and if he has you to lean on he won't bother. Get rid of him, life is too short to deal with partners who are like this.

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   1. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Its just so hard when you get an emotional bond with somebody especially because he knows what he has done and getting help and he wants to come travelling with me which is making it harder, but i need to have respect for myself and my family.

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   2. 78

      CuAllaidhposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Trust me I know how hard that can be, I've been there myself, but people don't change if they get away with stuff like that, cheaters cheat because they can because those that live with and love them allow it. Sounds harsh I know, but true.

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9. 80

   Annie Wrightposted 10 years ago

   Hi There,
   I'm a female but listen to what I have to say then think hard because I'm going to say the cold hard facts, I've lived and still do. I left him in July 7, 2013, because he was a two timing cheat, he destroyed me, I could show you a picture of my eye where now I'm nearly blind in it or the physical scars (knife) I wear because of him. The man did the worst thing a man could, stripped down and ask another women (ex best friend) to marry him in front of me and told me I deserved it, even went as far as saying she was a better woman than me. I left but he kept calling and begging me to come back but never once said he was sorry. After living at my daughter, brother and living on the street in the freezing winter (last winter) off and on, I finally give in and came back in Feb. 2014 since he was having seizures. Now I don't trust him and we sleep in different bedrooms. That person still comes over here and has the nerve since after I left she took my stuff that was here that she wanted which he give to her. Together they destroyed his and my relationship even through she was married. Now the trust is gone, she still causes problems and he always takes her side. Walk away before its to late, don't end up like me who will never trust again. Him getting help, how many times are you going to be hurt if treatments don't work? You can still help him and give support if you leave but as a friend.

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   1. 51

      lilly29posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for that comment, I have no friends it this country and I am running out of strength, he has emotionally damaged me, these comments don't give you a lot to write can I email you? traceffer@yahoo.com

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   2. 80

      Annie Wrightposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi,
      Yes I'll send you an email. Tyke will be the name on my email named after my dog, the one in the picture.

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   3. 0

      mothersofnationsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Annie, God bless you. You need to get out of there asap. There are other options. Shelters. Something. You have to want to and go for it. He's just to much to deal with

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10. 0

    JThomp42posted 10 years ago

    So many red flags and you choose to be in denial about this man's behavior? Save yourself more heartache and RUN!

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11. 51

    lilly29posted 9 years ago

    So I am just updating this question I posted 5 months ago, so I left him shortly after posting it, I'm back home with my friends and family living a normal healthy life now, it is crazy when I read back at this! It does not seem reall, I met a guy when I came home and really liked him but he dissapeared haha I was asking for too much to soon. But I will look back at this post well I'm not feeling good because that was not a good place I was in especially because I was on the other side of the world. Thanks for all your comments and support strangers

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12. 60

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13. 66

    Mystee Crockettposted 6 years ago

    Your man likes the attention he gets from the other women. He may not have gone into the escort service, but he likes the thrill of the chase.
    It can be hard to win in your situation. But I don't think you need advice from men. What you need to do is decide if he is worth staying with. He likely won't change. Not for you, or for any other woman. Are you okay with him texting other ladies? If not, then do yourself a favor and move on.

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