jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)

Which comes first love, lust, or like?

  1. SilentMagenta profile image71
    SilentMagentaposted 3 years ago

    Which comes first love, lust, or like?

    In what order do these come in?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    It depends on who the people are and what state of mind they're in when they meet. Instant "attraction" is on par with lust.
    In order to truly know if you "like' or "love" someone you have to invest time getting to (know) them beyond their appearance and initial chemistry. It's not uncommon to see someone you think is "hot" but after spending a few minutes talking to them you realize they're not all that wonderful after all.
    Being a man I would say it's rare for us to pursue dating women whom we find (unattractive) but are "nice" and "likeable". 
    I suspect a lot of women also would put men who had those traits into their "Friend Zone" as well.
    It's our (sexual desire or romantic interest) in a person that separates "relationship love" from parental love, sibling, love, and friendship love. Physical attraction is usually the initial impetus for dating.

  3. manatita44 profile image83
    manatita44posted 3 years ago

    Well, on face value, the gentleman's answer is very solid and maybe closer to what many expect.

    Spiritually, The act of looking and attraction itself is motivated by an inner desire to find peace or happiness, call it what one wills. All experiences are propelled by an inner longing which starts with Love, the Higher Love within the Soul. So the seed is always first.

    Then comes the outer stimulus, the thing that adds the drive. Human relationships are a form of attachment, perhaps a necessary one, but only a grosser form of a more sublime beauty called Love which is unconditional and ever-free. This Love requires a slower process. Much peace.

  4. connorj profile image75
    connorjposted 3 years ago


    These 3; that is, love, lust and like are not entirely symbiotic in nature. If one is unfortunate to begin with lust, a characteristic which I believe can be parasitic to love and it may indeed supplant love. Now "like" usually comes before love yet they are not independent of each other. After all do you know anyone in love that does not like their partner? Thus, "like" is present either before and with "love" or "love" and "like" are mutually together from the beginning or first-meet until the end. Now it would be remiss if I didn't mention although "love" and "lust" can be parasitic they are also blissful and long-lasting when "love" is entrenched prior to "lust."