What makes a person fall in love ?
Some people may say it's because of a person's personality , looks, they way they talk, dress, act, etc .. But what do you believe makes a person fall in love ? What turns you on about a person, other than things that are sexual .
What makes a person fall in love is when the mate hones in on a need or want that had been missing in your life. Some will state that it's a good character, sex, chemistry, friendship, whatever that provides that initial spark. In the case of some of my boyfriends, it was their characters and personal charm that appealed to me.
However, I once inadvertently fell head over heels over a man (not an appropriate situation at the time so the relationship never became sexual). We had nothing in common in the sense of activities but he was a decent sort. He was athletic and intelligent. But the qualities that made me fall in love with him was the empathy, kindness and loyalty he showered on me. We never did engage in a romantic relationship but we were attracted to one another.
I won't go into any further detail about this matter other than to state that I was amazed that it was kindness and empathy that made me fall in love with him. Now I understand that this occurred because these were qualities that people had rarely shown me. I grew up in an abusive household and, well, sometimes the world itself can be a cruel place. That simple quality of kindness of his broke my heart in two and I'll never forget the compassion he showed me even though many years have passed since we last saw each other.
In essence, what sparks love is when the other partner, either purposefully or inadvertently, hones in on a quality or feeling in your life that you have lacked or not experienced before. This person may not make the best husband or boyfriend but if he can hone in on what is missing in your life, you're hooked.
People fall "in love" when they believe they're with someone who truly "gets them". They're (on the same page) in many ways.
There is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another and overall they feel "special" and love being in each other's company.
Having said that it's easy for an "emotionally immature" person to mistake "infatuation" and "lust" for love.
Having "butterflies in your stomach" or you can't stop "thinking about someone" doesn't mean you're "in love". That's lust & attraction.
It's been said that men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears. However with age comes wisdom. Men learn all that glitters is not gold and women learn actions speak louder than words. "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
It takes time to truly get to (know) someone's "authentic self".
Yes, people become involved with others whom are in the same situation as them. Say, they both are in college worried about career choices. Or, say, they both can help each other by combining resources to work their way out of poverty. But this really isn't falling in love--at least it's not crazy love.
Crazy love is when the hormones and neurotransmitters in your head go ZAP. And then, you think about the other person somewhat obsessively. And those changes in the brain make you choose this person from all the rest. So, physiologically, you can't be in crazy love with two people at once. That's just infatuation. Or thinking about choices.
If you want to hear more about this and love in general, see my post: The Love Code: http://drbillykidd.hubpages.com/hub/kidd-love-code
Perhaps it is all in what I call being cognizant of the significant difference from others. If one can fall in love I would suggest dating many first so that one has a significant sample size for comparison. Combine this with truly being aware of the others; thus, one fights back infatuation as much as possible and discerns strengths and weaknesses. I would suggest one of the few significant variables will indeed be selflessness or evidence of self-sacrifice for the other one. One other significant variable that can never be under-estimated is indeed attraction. There must be a natural "draw" or attraction to be together. It is always difficult to create attraction if it is not natural...
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