In a romantic relationship, would you rather be wanted or needed?

1. 92

   savvydatingposted 8 years ago

   In a romantic relationship, would you rather be wanted or needed?
   
   It is popular to say, "I want you, but I don't need you." But is that romantic? What's your opinion?
   
   

   replyreport
2. 68

   Arnoldwebsterposted 8 years ago

   I'd prefer if my partner needed me in our relationship. "Wanting" lasts only for a short period but when you need each other it means you can't live without each other. That's my thought.

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      What a beautiful answer, Arnold Webster Mbuya. Thank you for a thoughtful reply!

      replyreport
   2. 68

      Arnoldwebsterposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You are welcomed.

      replyreport
3. 89

   Efficient Adminposted 8 years ago

   Definitely Wanted.  I have found needy people just use others and don't really love them, but just want to use them for what they can get. On the other hand, being wanted means you were chosen above all the others and loved for who you are.

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Do you think, however, that there may be a difference between Need and Needy? Thanks for chiming in Efficient Admin. I appreciate your feedback.

      replyreport
4. 84

   Faith Reaperposted 8 years ago

   As far as in a romantic relationship, I would rather be wanted and desired and not needed.  If I am needed that is great, but it does not come into the romantic aspect to me as does being desired.  I feel that being needed can become a bit enabling or possessive ... as in I can't live without you...that obsessive need.  However, being desirous of another, can lead to the same scenario.

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      A good, solid answer. I see your point. I sort of look at it as, "Do I need a heart transplant or do I want one?" Sometimes need is OK, but neediness--no way. Thanks for a lovely answer, Faith Reaper.

      replyreport
5. 78

   Jade89posted 8 years ago

   Definitely wanted. For me if i'm needed it seems like it's for a purpose: money,housekeeping, sex. Once those needs can be fullfilled elsewhere - a promotion / an affair; I won't be 'needed' anymore. When you want someone it's regardless of what they can do for you

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting take, Jade. Could those things you described also be a want---even more than a need? Thanks for a reflective answer. I do appreciate your having thought about this matter.

      replyreport
6. 74

   manatita44posted 8 years ago

   A need is generally for the first instinct: Survival. Hence water, warmth, food, air, earth, shelter or safety ....
   
   Then there is the spiritual need. The Soul is in isolation from God and it will feel unfulfilled even with the greatest husband or wife. It knows consciously or unconsciously, that it is free and only temporarily bound by desires.
   
   In a romantic relationship, as necessary as it is, one is trying to appease the loneliness, insecurity, fear, desires ... It is mostly wants or 'takes' but can be said to be a need in the sense that each Soul must go through its own fire, in order to grow.
   
   In that sense, desire or craving is as much a need as it is a want. Self-esteem needs, is a part of the longer process of the Soul returning Home, or re-discovering its true nature. Romanticism, which is really sentimental human love, lust or attachments, is part of the process. In Love and Light.

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for a very spiritual insight on this question, manatita44. It sounds like you are saying that want and need are simply a part of the process, with neither being "negative.

      replyreport
   2. 74

      manatita44posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, my Sweet.
      
      Nothing is without purpose. It teaches its own lessons, then we move on. All is in God, and all is useful. Still, seek wisdom, which will dictate when to move on. Being a child is necessary, but then we become grown.

      replyreport
   3. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      "My sweet" Hmmm. I like the sound of that. Actually, you are sweet to give such an inspiring response.

      replyreport
7. 94

   jansharesposted 8 years ago

   Speaking from a long term point of view, I would like to be both wanted and needed. Being wanted speaks to desire, chemistry, lust, and attraction. I think that's very important between two people and needs constant upkeep. Being needed speaks to purpose, partnership, mutual support, and having one's back. I need it all in my relationship.

   replyreport
   1. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent answer, Janshares. But if you had to choose? That's a tough one!

      replyreport
   2. 94

      jansharesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      okay, if I had to pick one - wanted.

      replyreport
   3. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You bad girl you. I adore your honesty, janshares!

      replyreport
   4. 67

      Junegirl58posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't have said it any better than that and so totally agree with you.

      replyreport
   5. 92

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have to say, if someone said to me, "I want you" I would find that vaguely flattering, but if he said "I need you," I would find that unusual. It shows a rare vulnerability---provided he is not  "needy."  But that is my take....

      replyreport