Is absolute honesty always possible/desirable in a romantic relationship?

1. 77

   SoundNFuryposted 12 years ago

   Is absolute honesty always possible/desirable in a romantic relationship?
   
   Is there any time when "little white lies" are okay?  If so, what defines a "little white lie"?  Or is honesty always the policy that must be adhered to?

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2. 99

   Theophanesposted 12 years ago

   That largely depends on the individuals involved. I am in a relationship of absolute honesty but I can take it - so can my boyfriend.
   
   I think a good example would be how some women have intense issues with their boyfriend or husband being around attractive female coworkers, or talking about past lovers, or admitting that someone other than them is attractive. To me this is utter silliness. I know about all my boyfriend's previous lovers, as I was interested enough to ask - interested but in no way jealous. I am not threatened by the past. I know if any of them were serious contenders for his heart he'd be with them right now, not me. Not all women are so rational... in fact a great deal are pretty cuckoo on the subject.
   
   As far as white lies.... "No, that doesn't make you look fat" is always a great one.... and are sometimes necessary in all relationships, romantic or not, to spare feelings or not start a fight.

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3. 60

   RealConception7posted 12 years ago

   Its possible, but i think some of the past should stay in the past. It could ruin a relationship.

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4. 96

   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   To me the phrase absolute honesty implies telling everything. There are some things that don't need to be told. I don't need a 100% recap of everything my husband ever has done or will do. He will tell me if it's important. I don't need him to tell me everytime he has fun wth "himself". I expect him to not tell me everytime he checks out an attractive woman. I expect him to once in a while tell me how beautiful I am even though we both know I look rough at the moment.  These things are healthy in my opinion.

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5. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I don't believe anyone (wants) to be lied to in any relationship.
   Honesty creates trust in relationships. Having said that I also don't believe that being honest means to (lack tactfulness) or compassion. As is often stated:
   "It's not what you say but how you say it that counts."
   Ultimately the goal in any loving relationship is to build up our mate and not tear them down. You can offer constructive criticism with words of encouragement when needed.

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6. 71

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   There are some things that should be hidden, but every question should be met with honesty or distraction or not a straight answer. If the question is "do I look fat in this dress", don't give a straight answer. Another example would be "wasn't the weekend with my parents nice?".

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7. 69

   sarahmooseposted 12 years ago

   As many others have said here, it depends on the situation. But I would rather be told the truth by my other half.
   
   I put on loads of weight up to last year, and my husband told me so. OK, so I felt hurt for a few days, but I went for a check up at the doctors, and was told I was borderline obese. It was my hubby's honesty that made me realise I needed to sort myself out, and start getting fit. I floundered a bit with it, but since our holiday in January, with his support, I have lost 19lbs, and I am nearly halfway to my final goal.

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