Those against Marriage Equality, and homosexuality - can you explain why?
Reading through some of the questions here, I've been wondering what makes people feel the way they do about Marriage Equality, and/or homosexuality. Is it a general disagreement? a Dislike? A hatred? How do SSM and homosexuals affect you? I'm curious - but please NO SLURS (against anyone) - I will delete them, they are not necessary. I'm also not trying to be confronting - I genuinely wonder why people feel the way they do about certain groups. Thanks in advance
I believe that families were ordained by God to be a man, a woman and their children. I believe that the family is the central sociological unit. I believe that everybody's chooses have consequences both in this life and in the life to come. And, I believe that everybody has the right to choose how they are going to live their lives.
That being said, those statements look like they have to be in direct opposition to each other and I understand that. I also wish to state that my best friend is gay and she and her partner were bridesmaids at my very religious wedding this last year and I was a bridesmaid at their commitment ceremony some 5 years ago, so people understand that I am sympathetic to "both sides" of the argument.
I do not think it is fair to discriminate against gays and lesbians for jobs, housing, tax benefits, insurance, what have you. However, I also don't think it's fair for gay people to demand that my church change their beliefs to accommodate their lifestyle. My denomination believes that God has set a standard of complete chastity before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage, which he has defined as a relationship built between a man and a woman. We believe that this union will allow specific blessings in the next life and anyone who fails to live up to that standard, homosexual or heterosexual, will forfeit those blessings. How they are going to live is their choice, but that choice will determine the life they receive in the next life.
I think a lot of the fear and hate comes from a misunderstanding of the other side's perspective. I think a lot of it comes from a fear of being discriminated against. And I think a lot of it comes from a lot of unkindness in trying to perpetuate our ideas.
My solution? Separate church and state when it comes to marriage. Allow marriage to be a religious term and civil unions to be a legal term. That way, the government can be in charge of deciding what a family is for legal purposes and individual churches can decide what a family is for religious purposes and the two don't step on each others toes. All current marriages would be legally known as civil unions from here out and the government would stop being involved in marriages. If nothing else it would allow us clarity in discussing the issue. We could at least tell what was coming from sociology and politics and what was coming from religion.
I am 1,000% for marriage equality between consenting adults no matter if they are heterosexual or part of the LGBT community. However, there are those who are against marriage equality & homosexuality. There are the reasons:
(1) There are those who are against marriage equality & homosexuality because they are ensconced in religious ideology. It is the more conservative, dogmatic, fanatical, fundamentalist, & traditional religionists who maintain that marriage should be between men & women. They further view homosexuality as "abnormal", even "deviant", because "normal" relationships should be between men & women. It is the subconscious premise of these religionists that marriage & relationships are to end in procreation. Anything in their purview does not end in procreation is seen as hedonistic at best & totally morally aberrant at worst. They are also wholly dependent upon the bible & other religious books regarding their view on marriage equality & homosexuality.
(2) They perceive marriage equality & homosexuality as somehow unnatural. They maintain that marriage should ALWAYS be between male & female as with sex. They maintain that such is in the natural order of this. They are fond to point out that animals do not do this, only humans. They contend that marriage equality & homosexuality is not natural but is an artificially constructed paradigm.
(3) They see marriage equality & homosexuality as a threat to the old order/old paradigm as to what marriage should be. They steadfastly maintain that marriage is between men & women & that romantic & sexual relationships should be between men & women. They furthermore maintain that this was instituted to build, sustain & protect families. They feel that marriage equality will destroy families because there isn't a gender specific role model for children.
(4) There are those who HATE the prospect of marriage equality & homosexuality because it is beyond the predominant societal & cultural paradigm. Marriage equality & homosexuality are viewed as.....DIFFERENT from the norm. Because of this difference, they view marriage equality & homosexuality as ....quite suspect.
I feel that people, in general, want to be accepted. Those who were children and were forced to give up some friend or lover, will retain that rule as an adult and will try to correct others. As to quoting the Bible as a reason for your stand on something, some quote the Bible and have never even opened one. Others quote and some look at only certain quotes. Pick and choose is what I believe that it's called. A look at death: you are the only one who will go. You won't go with your 'group' of people that you identify with. As the phrase says "two women working in a field side by side. One will be taken, one will be left."
I think the homosexuality is bad thing goes back to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, [story in Genesis 19] Where Lot's wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. The quote was bring us these men so we may have sex with them Genesis 19:5 - The Sodom and Gomorrah story was about rape, not homosexuality.
I've never seen a reason that wasn't entrenched in religious ideology. It's even funnier to hear when those same people get caught up in some sex scandal.
If both sides consent and no one gets hurt, everything is good. Simple.
I am for equality, but I have a few theories as to why some are against it.
First off, marriage equality takes the religion of everybody not directly involved in each individual marriage out of the equation. That has to be scary to those who feel it's their right to impose their religious beliefs on their entire society. It may make them feel helpless or afraid. But I also think they're afraid of losing control of women.
Conservative religious people state they fear same sex marriage will affect traditional marriage. I think traditional marriage means something different to them than it does to most of society. I think average folks see traditional marriage as a loving commitment between two adults who wish to support and care for each other for the rest of their lives, becoming a family in the process. Since many who oppose SSM ask questions like "Why would two guys want to marry anyway?" it seems clear they don't use that definition of marriage or any other that puts love and devotion in places of importance, because romantic love is a pretty darned obvious reason to marry.
The anti-equality idea of traditional marriage seems to be almost entirely about sexual intercourse, reproduction, and the male rule of the household. Marriage equality does draw some of that into question. They can't completely isolate their families from seeing the rest of society so keeping their children under complete religious control could get a lot harder.
If the common definition of marriage (two adults choosing to make a loving commitment to each other) is used as a legal definition, it removes the aspect of male ownership of female reproductive capacity as a necessary and assumed component of ANY marriage.
How will they convince their daughters to marry the men they want them to if women are treated as equally capable of making the same legal marriage commitment as men? How will they shame and financially force their gay sons into marriage long enough to produce grandchildren if society tells their sons they are perfectly normal people capable of marrying whatever unrelated adult loves them back? How will they convince their daughters to forgo education and careers and become dependent on men if the society they live in tells them they don't have to have their sexuality owned by a man?
If kids see that same gender couples are the same as everyone else through societal exposure, it will be very hard for their parents to teach fear and hate of them.
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