Ladies, do you prefer dating polite men who are somewhat "old-school" or do you prefer a challenge?
I get a plethora of comments (on one of my hubs) from men who say that being a gentleman doesn't work, and that he has to "play games" and be a jerk to get women. So....is the nice guy doomed? Be honest. Guys can chime in with their experiences too.
The nice guy isn't doomed, it's when he's a "nice guy" - a guy who will be polite, chivalrous, and gentlemanly with the intention of getting a date or sex. Believe it or not, we can tell if you're being nice to us because you think we'll owe you a date/sex OR if you're just a genuinely nice person without ulterior motives.
Girls are not arcade games - you can't just put kindness tokens in and expect sex to fall out. We're human beings, with our own unique ideas and beliefs. Treat us that way and you'll do fine.
Any smart thinking, aware woman wants to date a man who is a gentleman. Gentlemen know how to treat women with respect. So many women are so clueless when it comes to men. They feel that gentlemen are too soft, too so-called unmanly. They want men w/that edge. They want men who "are men". They seem to be attracted to men who really don't respect them.
There are women who want men who are challenges to them. They want men who exemplify the harsher aspects of masculinity. They want men to give them a hard time & vice versa. They seem to get that adrenaline rush from such encounters. There are women who seem not to appreciate the good, solid men but prefer men who will take them for quite a ride emotionally, mentally, psychologically, & even psychically.
Unfortunately, some women do feel that way. I presume they are either "still growing" or they don't think much of themselves. As for Denzel, he's my man!!! A true gentleman. Thanks, Grace!
Yves, I hope you'll share~~ because I too adore Denzel. I respect his attitude toward his wife, Pauletta, to whom he's been married for many years!
i prefer the old fashion type of guy with politeness, gentleman, even though he may be shy
I think true "ladies" are attracted to "gentlemen." Especially in present times where chivalry seems to be a dying art. Holding a door open, or pulling a chair out so she can sit down etc are now appreciated I think because they aren't common actions like they once were.
Somehow girls are generally attracted to bad boys - but when I say bad boys, I don't mean jerks who treat their gf(s) badly, verbally abuse them or ignore them. I think bad boys just mean boys who are more witty, definately cheeky, not always predictable, don't appear too needy.
If you date a boy who is always giving in to you - chances are it can get boring.
Oh my! I realize this was posted more than a year ago but I've only recently started browsing your page. I guess the best way to put it is that for me and most of my friends, it depends on the woman! Of course, I enjoy the company of people who are genuine and nice, but what I appreciate the most is when they are not judgemental. I am in a committed relationship, but when I was still doing the dating thing I would steer VERY clear of men who expect me to fit into a traditionally "female" role. For example, I am completely against the notion that men should pay on the first date; checks should be split, no questions asked. If they fight me on this, there will be no second date. I absolutely despise it when men think my role in the relationship is to be pursued and doted on, and I find (cliche) romantic gestures annoying. If these are the actions of what we consider a "gentleman" then yes, I will run the opposite way in a hurry. This doesn't mean that I am into "jerks" either. I prefer to be in a relationship where my boyfriend treats me as an equal, and I love feeling like I'm dating my best friend.
Thank you for chiming in, Limey. I think that Q&A's pertaining to dating are always relevant. Personally, I believe that whoever asks pays. That being said, women feel compelled to pay for half of dinner these days, in truth, for safety reasons.
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