Could having polymory or polyandry styled relations be the way to resolve cheati

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   threekeysposted 7 years ago

   Could having polymory or polyandry styled relations be the way to resolve cheating in relationships?
   
   Monogamy doesn't seem to be working. What way do you think most of us could handle to have the depth and fun we desire with our mate?

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   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   Monogamy doesn't work if both people aren't committed to the idea of monogamy. Monogamy also becomes boring when couples become lazy. I believe having what you want is the key to resolving cheating.
   I believe there are 3 reasons why people {don't} cheat.
   1. They are "in love".
   2. They know how hurt they'd be if their mate cheated.
   3. They don't want to do anything to risk losing their mate.
   When you're "in love" with someone you don't want to share them with others. Just the thought or image of them doing so upsets you.
   Having said that if someone isn't "in love" or they simply love/care about their mate they might be open to cheating or switching to an open marriage. In order for monogamy to work people have to NOT want to cheat.
   The only way polyamory relationships would solve the issue of cheating is if(everyone) actually wants that lifestyle. Too often you have people willing to "go along with it" as a last ditch effort to hold onto their mate/spouse.
   The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Very few cheaters are actually looking to replace one relationship with another one.
   The Incessant Cheater
   This is someone who has never been faithful in any long-term relationship. They get bored easily and need the excitement that comes with being with someone NEW and unpredictable. Monogamy for them is like going on a strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) but (when) they are going to cheat. Their motto is: "Variety is the spice of life!"
   The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater
   This person isn't proactively looking to cheat. Someone they had a secret crush on or a person they consider to be "hot" hits on them!
   It's an opportunity to turn a fantasy into a reality. If this happens on a business trip or wherever they may seize the opportunity. This type of cheater is especially common among those who settled down early in life with little or no sexual experience. Curiosity can be a driving force. Sometimes these cheaters feel immense guilt afterward and may confess weeks, months, or years later.
   The Discontented Cheater
   He/she blames YOU! Something you did or stopped doing caused them to step outside of the relationship. According to (them) their cheating is a reaction to how (you) have behaved.
   You stopped making them feel "special".
   Ultimately both monogamy and cheating are choices!
   One man's opinion!

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      threekeysposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know who you are dashingscorpio but you know and you understand....
      its a little bit unsettling...in a good way

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   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   Monogamy is the human norm. Polygamy has only been successful when:
   A. half the men are dead so many women have to share a husband to have one
   B. women compete to share a rich man, while the poorer men in society don't have mates - and that makes that demographic commit more rapes as a release and crimes because they lack the stability of a wife and family.
   
   Polyamory and polyandry are contrary to human's natural instincts, and most women don't want to share a man.
   And in a society where we are free to divorce, you'd see many men divorced the moment they suggest adding another wife.

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      threekeysposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      These are interesting facts Tamara.
      Point B....they feel hard done by.... and... I can understand women wanting another adult in the realitonship. Not another person to look after- like her children or children to be. No fun there!

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