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Have you ever loved someone so much that you worry of what life would be like without them?
Yes, but equally I worry what life would be like for [her/him] without me.
Most children go through a time when they first realize there's such a thing as dying and then worry about what would happen if one or both of their parents died. It can depend on how close they are with each parent and whether something goes on that may make them worry about one parent or the other more at one time or another. Somewhere along the way that "acute" phase mostly passes, and they don't think about it as often, kind of put it at the back of their mind, and get past that "acute" stage as they get a little older and realize that while losing a parent would be horrible they're at least old enough to be able to, one way or another, manage with the basics of day-to-day life.
I think most parents worry, as someone else here said, about what would happen to their children if they lost one or both parents before reaching a certain age.
As a child, I was no different; so my answer to this question from that standpoint is "yes".
As an adult, my answer to the question is that when one loves someone enough and in the right way a) one won't even allow himself to imagine, or put into words (even "mental words", not just spoken ones) "something bad happening"; and b) one thinks first about the other person, rather than himself. Of course when it comes to "b) a whole lot of different types of relationships, situations, circumstances, length of time people have shared life, etc. etc. come into play.
People and relationships are different, I know; but I've known people who joke about "something bad happening" to someone close to them, or else people who can easily put into words some careless, even ugly, remark about it as a way of making a point (or whatever their reasons are). Knowing any of these people, I know they love the person-in-question in their own way; but, to me, being able to be cavalier about even thinking, or saying, some words/thoughts is a tip-off that' something's missing in that person's love for person-in-question (assuming the relationship is one of the few types that are, or are supposed to be, the closest in life),
I do agree with you in saying that joking about something bad happening shows that there is something missing in that person's love becuase I believe that love is more than just an feeling, and the thought 'something bad' allows space for 2nd thought
Yes, and because of the question of what would the other person do without you a new area of sharing is opened. This may not be true for the very young but I was 46 when I married and had already experienced what loss can do to both individuals and families. So had my husband. Because of this, one of our first conversations concerned what each wanted to happen in the event of a worst case scenario and gave each other a solemn promise we would abide by each other wishes and not be swayed by outside influences (other family members). In turn that brought up the probability that one of us would outlive the other. On threat of being haunted forever by me as an angry ghost I elicited a promise from my husband that were I the one to go first he would NOT turn into a hermit. I gave him two months to feel sad then expected him to get on with his life. We laughed but we both understood the meaning. Sadly, he died first.
I am so sorry for your loss Cecelia, and thank you so much for sharing your story with us! I really liked the way you guys were able to work out scenarios and were able to make such promises. This is a suggestion I would definitely hold on to!
With age, maturity, and wisdom one comes to understand:
Every ending is a new beginning.
Whether you want to move on or not nothing should change your reality of the past. You had a life BEFORE you met him or her.
In fact that guy/girl you believe can't live without just know this; There are Billions of people doing exactly that each and everyday!
In fact you use to be one of us! Life goes on!
True. I guess it's just that people get so used to being with a certain person that when they are in the absence of them, they find it hard to do what they used to at first. Although it may leave a scar, time does help heal. By the way, great quote!!
Laxmi said "time (helps) heal".
Naturally to truly "move on" one must get to a point where they (want) to "let go". Should one eventually fall "in love" with someone new that also helps. Life does go on.
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