The moment you think or feel you have to prove yourself to someone is it time to

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (8 posts)
  1. profile image0
    threekeysposted 2 years ago

    The moment you think or feel you have to prove yourself to someone is it time to move on?

    In relationships? In your career? Do you..can you, draw a line in the sand here?

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13207841_f260.jpg

  2. manatita44 profile image83
    manatita44posted 2 years ago

    In relationships, probably yes. But we rarely do. Such is the nature of things. In your career? Work harder initially, including work on self. I told a girl off, just four weeks ago. Perhaps she deserves it; perhaps it's true. Many took my side. However, they may not have known that I was in inner pain, and that if I felt like I am feeling now, I would not have said it.

    So sometimes, it is us, we that need to do a bit of introspection. If all fails, move on yes, but a warning, a very reputable man of God used to say that where ever you go, you take your mind with you. Reflect on this.

    Finally, what I wanted most to say, is that we are doing this thing all the time. The Christian mystics call it 'self-love. Consciously or unconsciously, we want to be loved, appreciated; to feel a sense of self-esteem. Me too. It is necessary for inner growth.

    Nothing wrong with this. Just know that sometimes, the other is having his or her own battle, and chose your moment carefully. In fact, if the response from a friend is slow or not there, stop what you are doing or saying. Much Love, Threekeys.

  3. profile image0
    Cissy1946posted 2 years ago

    Not necessarily. Throughout the early years of my career I was always having to prove myself to my supervisors and co-workers. I was a drafter during a time when there weren't very many women in that profession so there was the constant need to prove that I was fully capable of doing the work at least as well as my male co-workers.
    Not so funny story about lines in the sand.
    At this point I was well established in my career. The communications field was booming and CAD hadn't entered the arena yet so there was a high demand for people who could produce quality, accurate, and fast schematic diagrams and wire lists. (These were used by technicians who were building prototype printed circuit boards for computers). I was working in Virginia and received a call one day from a company in Maryland. They had a job open and wanted me to come in and talk to them. First I said I had a job, then they told me how much the job paid so I made an appointment. Let me pause here and say I did contract work so I wasn't an actual employee of the company I worked for, just a worker bee. So off I went to Maryland to talk to the company. They gave me a test. I'm not sure if it was because I was a woman or if they gave everyone a test but I had no problem with it because I knew my profession. So they hired me. As I walked into my little room on my second day one of the engineers walked in behind me and threw a bunch of papers on my drawing board. He said, "I need those typed by 10" and walked out. This was one of those things that I had been fighting against my whole career so this did not make me happy and no amount of money was going to turn me into a typist. I called my contract firm and told them what had happened. I know the person I was talking to wanted to say "So" but he refrained himself and asked what I wanted to do. I told him this was a problem and either he could take care of it or I would. About 5 minutes later the engineer came in, grabbed his papers, and left and about 5 minutes after that the man who interviewed me came in and apologized for the misunderstanding and promised it wouldn't happen again. So, sometime you have to draw that line...
    As far as relationships go I haven't had the problem come up but if it did I would imagine it was time to move on.

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      You knew where to draw the line. You nipped it in the bud and that is inspiring.

  4. Sofia Sinha profile image60
    Sofia Sinhaposted 2 years ago

    Oneself is the best person to answer this particular question.. One should ask whether moving on is the ultimate choice or option.. If the heart and mind agree mutually, go ahead with a brave face on.. Your heart, mind and soul are the best philosopher and guide..

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Sofia. Yes ultimately what our minds and hearts say in unison is the key answer to follow. I cannot say my mind and heart are in agreement all the time. This is my dharma or karma to resolve and work at.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/13208104_f260.jpg

    To a certain extent we are always proving something to others as well as to ourselves. Everyone has some "expectations" of those who are in their life. The thing to determine is whether they are reasonable.
    Having said that after a certain amount of time/history your reputation should have merit with those who know you. Benefit of the doubt.
    Certain occupations such as in sales; you're only as good as your last month or last quarter! Just about every job these days has at the very least (annual performance reviews).
    However if you're in a relationship where you have to keep "proving" you love someone or you can be trusted, then you are in a "no-win" situation. Naturally if you have "changed" or stopped doing certain things it's understandable for someone have questions.
    A commitment doesn't mean we get to STOP doing all the things that caused our mate to fall in love with us and expect things to remain the same.
    Nevertheless if they seem to keep coming up with new hoops to jump through or creating a various new litmus tests  (ie) "A real woman/man would ...etc"  It's time to move on!
    All anyone can do is give their best.
    If it's not "good enough" it's not a match.
    No one wants to have to "walk on eggshells".

    1. profile image0
      threekeysposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. No one wants to walk on eggshells or feel that who they are as they are, feels it is flawed and have to keep passing the "litmus test". I think that having to keep passing through "tests" would say more about the insecurities of the partner.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)