How to ask deep questions in a relationship as friends and possibly become lover

1. 49

   Melanie Fosterposted 8 years ago

   How to ask deep questions in a relationship as friends and possibly become lovers.
   
   Any and all questions. Especially to help to really get to know someone as a friend and as a possible lover.

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   In the beginning of most (new) relationships there is usually a (mutual) infatuation or chemistry that causes both people to seek to impress one another. Flirt and observe their reaction first.
   It's important to understand that a (first date) is suppose to be light and fun. Asking too many "deep questions" without having established a rapport is putting the cart before the horse. If two people don't (like) each other it's not going to be a "second date" no matter how they answered your questions.
   Too often people either look to "fast forward" the dating process in order to weed out people that they don't allow themselves a reasonable amount of time to truly understand who the person is.
   Sometimes gender differences can be a major factor.
   For instance most men in their late teens and 20s are not looking to "settle down" and become their parents! They either just broke out of the parent's basement or a college dorm room. 
   They're looking establish a career, party with friends, watch sports, play video games, and get laid for the most part.
   In the U.S. the average age of a first time married male is 29.
   Having said that many men don't start considering marriage until they're in their early 30s and beyond. Therefor a young lady is most likely setting herself for heartache if she's looking to get married to guys in that age range.
   Lastly it's not really a good idea to approach dating with a "marriage minded" or looking for a "serious relationship" mindset.
   Let (the person) you meet determine the relationship. You want to be with the "right person" and not the "next person".
   For someone to say in advance: "The next guy or girl I get involved with will become my spouse." can lead you to try to "force things" instead of allowing the relationship/love to (naturally evolve).
   If you are already "platonic friends" there is a good chance that is all you were meant to be. Having said that most guys with attractive platonic friends are very open to getting out of the "friend zone" if given the opportunity. Guys are rarely offended if a woman has a romantic interest in them.
   It's women that usually create the "friend zone".

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