Boyfriend's family is rude to me. How should I respond?

1. 53

   Cat014posted 7 years ago

   Boyfriend's family is rude to me. How should I respond?
   
   I have been with my bf for five years now. We plan on getting married once he finishes his PhD. We live in a different state than his family and we do not have children. His family is wealthy, whereas, I come from a modest background. I am educated and continue to improve myself through graduate studies and entrepreneurship. However, I am not good enough for them. For one, they completely ignore me except for the occasional insult. Recently, bf's mom told me that she wished my bf had married her friend's daughter. His aunt tried to hook my bf up with another friend's daughter.

   replyreport
2. 0

   RTalloniposted 7 years ago

   Usually there is more to situations than meets the eye, but to directly answer your question, rise above their low behavior.  Because you want to be a decent person, treat them with respect no matter what they do or say. Let your fiancé see what your best qualities are by displaying grace under fire.  Because they are his parents, work with him to find ways to show them love, but do not expect that effort to change their attitudes (apart from a miracle).  Keep in mind that your worth is not tied to their opinions, so, you are not continuing to improve yourself in order to meet their expectations, but are doing so because you value growth that will let you go forward in life as a mature, responsible, productive, helpful woman (including as a wife and mother, one day).  A book you might find helpful is by N. DeMoss, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free.

   replyreport
3. 85

   DzyMsLizzyposted 7 years ago

   RTalloni has provided excellent advice.  The only other thing I have to offer is that you say they live in a different state from you and your bf.  Count that as a blessing; you won't have to deal with them often, so you will have time between any encounters to save up your energy for following the advice I referenced.  ;-) 
   Best wishes to you both.

   replyreport
4. 70

   Old-Empresarioposted 7 years ago

   You might start by analyzing yourself. Besides your background (which they know nothing about), what is it about you that they might not like? Do you behave or dress a certain way? Are there any girls that your boyfriend could bring around his family that they would approve of other than that person's friend's daughter? If so, what would they be like?
   
   If you're 100% right that this has to do with your modest background (which it very well might), then you have to accept the reality. Rich families are suspicious of newcomers. They have to be. You have to ask yourself what you are bringing to the table in a marriage other than your good looks. Do you have a PhD too? Are you bringing in any assets or property? Would you be willing to sign a pre-nuptial agreement? Marriage for a rich family is no joke and can ruin one.

   replyreport