How do you deal with best friend's boyfriend's abuse toward you?

1. 61

   Trohnjemposted 14 years ago

   How do you deal with best friend's boyfriend's abuse toward you?
   
   Alright, so this question is not for me but for my friend (though he doesn't know I asked it). Alright, so his best friend [is a female] and her boyfriend is both verbally and physically abusive toward my friend. Lets call him Jamie. How does he, and how do I, help him with the situation? Can he still be good friends with the girl? Does he have to leave her as a friend? He's confronted the subject with her but she apparently loved her boyfriend too much. The boyfriend has publicly verbally abused Jamie and privately has physically abused him. How do we help this?

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2. 70

   MikeSyrSuttonposted 14 years ago

   You probably will not like my answer but here it is. Jamie needs to
   call the police, press charges, and stay away until this situation cools way, down. His friend's boyfriend may be jealous, and that creates trouble! He has to use his head or things will get worse.
   Please keep me updated.
   Mike

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3. 60

   Gyspy Writerposted 14 years ago

   Any physical abuse should be reported to the authorities. As for verbal abuse, your friend needs to stay away from the bully. If it means his friendship with this guy's girlfriend is put on hold, then so be it. I doubt she will be with this abusive loser for long, so your friend can be there to help her pick up the pieces when that relationship is over. In the meantime, he needs to go on with his life. Sometimes the only thing to do with a problem is to step away from it.

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4. 70

   nifty@50posted 14 years ago

   I agree with the other posters, he should have reported the physical abuse. The fact that she tolerates the abuse of her " friend" and doesn't dump this loser, tells me, either she isn't much of a friend, or she is being abused as well and is too terrified to leave. Tell your friend to find out which it is. If it is the first, say "see Ya!" If it is the second try to get her some abuse counseling.

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5. 61

   Trohnjemposted 14 years ago

   Thank you guys so much, I actually like all your answers because they're the same as mine. Though I know she is not being abused. Her boyfriend actually is not aggressive and doesn't normally hit people, he's gentle with her and she's madly in love with him, but Jamie is sort of an easy target because he's abnormally small and has problems... a lot of problems. His biggest support comes from her and that's what bothers me most I think. Agreed though, I think she is not that good of a friend since she never ever tried to stop him from putting down Jamie. He won't press charges, sadly, because he's very use to abuse, but I might get him to just put her off as a close friend.
   
   Thank you all so much!

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6. 76

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   He has to let go of his female friend - she has a boyfriend now - and it changes things - as well as this her boyfriend is obviously really ticked off by his constant presence. He should have realised this by now (The boyfriend has already abused him and the girlfriend has said she wants to stay in this relationship since she loves the boyfriend so much). You can only help him to realise this.

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