Do you think love at first sight lasts long?
My best friend is in a relationship with a guy who falls in love with her at first sight, for about 2 months the relation remains very nice but now he has started taking her for granted and started looking at other girls, she is too confused about their relationship and always ask me for my advice, but I don't even understand that love at first sight exists or not?
There's no such thing as "love at first sight" only lust or possibly "love in hindsight".
When two people initially get together it's "infatuation" combined with our hopes for what they are and our projection of what we believe them to be.
If over several months or years we are lucky enough to have our dreams realized that's when we often say we fell in love at "first sight". Essentially we got what we hoped for.
The reality is it's possible to have a "crush' on someone and the minute they open their mouth you realize they're not who you thought they were. The fantasy ends!
With age, life, and dating experience most of us come to realize that there's an "infatuation phase" at the start of most (new) relationships. Those first few months are often not "reality".
Its a period in time where both people bend over backwards to impress each other! Whatever one suggests the other one is game for. The word "no" is seldom if ever used because no one wants to risk "blowing it". Long conversations and laughter come easily. Cards and gifts are given "just because" and oftentimes sex is "off the charts" in both passionate intensity and frequency. It's easy for someone with limited dating experience to believe they've found their "soul-mate"!
However after an "emotional investment" has been made many people start to relax and reveal their "authentic selves".
They no longer feel the need to please or impress their mate as they did earlier. They either have no fear of losing them or they don't care anymore.
Truth is most people (expect) this to happen while others are truly die hard "romantics".
Someone who is naturally a romantic doesn't view romantic courtship as a "phase".
Suddenly when their mate creates distance or treats them differently they wonder why.
"He/she is not the same person I fell in love with!"
You can't really be "in love" with someone until you have spent a great deal of time with them and have experienced a few major disagreements.
Odds are if this guy is in his late teens, 20s, or early 30s he may not be ready to settle down. He may also be an "Incessant Cheater". This type of person has never been faithful in any long-term relationship. From their point of view monogamy is the equivalent of going a very strict healthy diet. It's not a matter of (if) they will cheat but (when) they will cheat.
They get bored easily and are always looking for a (new) thrill.
Their motto is: "Variety is the spice of life!"
by Kevin Peter 5 years ago
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