jump to last post 1-8 of 8 discussions (28 posts)

Betrayed by a friend

  1. profile image0
    Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago

    What would you do if a close friend asked you for a large loan and after taking the money refused all contact with you and claimed that you had given them the money as a gift?

    1. Randy Godwin profile image92
      Randy Godwinposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Apparently, she doesn't consider YOU a close friend.  Take her/him to small claims court.

    2. double_frick profile image62
      double_frickposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      judge judy!
      actually my friend had some issue with her boss and he tried mercilessly to get her to go on one of those judge shows on tv. i think because he knew he would lose if the issue went to court and they (the judge shows) pay your accomodations and if you lose they pay whatever you end up owing anyway. my other friend went on as a witness and they paid him $250 just for standing there.

    3. profile image0
      cosetteposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i would gather all of my financial records and then pursue legal action.

      this is why i never loan anyone money anymore. i have in the past and got burned. now i say 'no, i don't loan (or borrow) money or things from people anymore, sorry.'

      you can consult a lawyer for free, or at the most, $150 for an hour of advice. good luck.

    4. DGB profile image53
      DGBposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i would never , talk to them again, they are showing that they are just using you for your money and not your friendship. a real friend would give back the money . I had the same thing with one of my friends, well ex friend,... you are better than them get on with your own life rather than helping yuo soo called friend that is using you for money.

  2. Dame Scribe profile image60
    Dame Scribeposted 7 years ago

    I tell my sons when they want something expensive, as they're old enough now and employable, meet me half way smile as for friends who would ask for such a large sum, no. I've had this happen also and never again. I question the genuinity of the friendship anybody asked me for large sums. hmm it's a tough and painful lesson to learn. Sorry to hear this happened to you. ((hugs))

  3. profile image0
    Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago

    Thanks Dame Scribe, Like you I will always veiw requests for money with deep suspicion from now on.  You kind of wonder in a case like this, about their motives all along.  Nice reply.

  4. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 7 years ago

    Close friends don't ask for money.
    If they're really close friends, you know what their problems are, and it's in you to help them or not.
    If a ' close friend' asks for money, an alarm bell should ring in your head.

    I don't know what would I do, as it never happened to me.
    I would be mad as hell !

    1. profile image0
      Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      To be honest, its not the money that bothers me, its being used by someone who professed to care about me.  It makes me feel like a complete idiot and makes me question my judgement.  She's taken a lot more than money.

      1. profile image0
        TheVerbalAxiomposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Don't get emotional, get even.

        *hands some explosives*

        You know what to do young Jedi.

  5. profile image0
    TheVerbalAxiomposted 7 years ago

    This is what explosives are for.

    1. profile image0
      Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I've done my best to have a great life since, its the best form of revenge.  Who am I kidding, serving a writ and watching her face would be better.

  6. EmpressFelicity profile image79
    EmpressFelicityposted 7 years ago

    I notice you're from the UK - have you thought of going to your local Citizens' Advice Bureau?

    1. profile image0
      Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yeah, I've taken free legal advice and the small claims court would be the way to go.  what I haven't mentioned so far is the dam woman is a social worker!

      1. EmpressFelicity profile image79
        EmpressFelicityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I probably wouldn't do this because I'm a bit of a wimp lol... but what about dropping a note to the local authority she works for?

        1. profile image0
          Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          My husband did!  They were concerned and interveiwed her.  She then wrote a threatening letter on Social Service headed note paper to me!!!  She's got a face that would stand clogging.

          1. EmpressFelicity profile image79
            EmpressFelicityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but what could she threaten you with?

            It does sound as if you are dealing with a totally unreasonable person so if you want to see the money again, the small claims court is your only (legal) option.  Scary that someone like her should be doing a job like social work.

            1. profile image0
              Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              Basically she said I had given her the money as a gift and that contacting her place of work was an agressive and malicious act.  She also claimed that my attempts to speak to her about the matter were harrassment and that her kids lived in fear of me and that if I tried to contact her again, she would be informing the police.  To be honest, I was completely gobsmacked.  Unreasonable is an understatement.

              1. EmpressFelicity profile image79
                EmpressFelicityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                Eeek!  Yep, looks as though you'll have to go the official route (and not communicate with her directly again), with an attitude of "hope for the best, expect the worst", and a resolution never to lend money to anyone again.

                1. profile image0
                  Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  Yeah, think your right.  I don't live in the same country as her now, so not likely to bump into her.  You live and learn.  Thanks for your interest, its nice to know other people would react in the same way as I have.  Don't feel like such a plank now.

  7. Sa Toya profile image74
    Sa Toyaposted 7 years ago

    Legal action is totally the way forward. Gather all documents together...Do you have anything written down showing it was a loan NOT a gift. This would help.

    A large amount of money, most courts would hardly expect it to be a gift unless you're minted and worth millions.
    Also depends on the country you're in I studied Law in England.

    It is worth legal action for sure. Go get your money baby!

    It's rough I've had a friend totally screw me over before not monetarily but emotionally and mentally...keep your head up...

    If legal action is too much of a hassle consider it a life lesson learned besides Karma is a bigger bitch than you have to be big_smile

    1. profile image0
      Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      thinking of going down the Karma road but do have a file full of proof that the money was a loan and that she used emotional blackmail to get it, just in case I change my mind.

      1. Hmrjmr1 profile image80
        Hmrjmr1posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        In that case Nuke her till she glows in the dark!
        Then do the Karma Road....cool

    2. Hmrjmr1 profile image80
      Hmrjmr1posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Chin Up Lass Sa Toya's got it nailed cool

      1. profile image0
        Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Love your photo and thanks for your comments, feel better already.

  8. Randy Godwin profile image92
    Randy Godwinposted 7 years ago

    i have loaned money to people who I hope do not pay me back.  It's worth it, in some cases, not to have to see them anymore!

    1. profile image0
      Kathryn LJposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      LOL , you crazy person.

 
working