Betrayed by a friend

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   Kathryn LJposted 15 years ago

   What would you do if a close friend asked you for a large loan and after taking the money refused all contact with you and claimed that you had given them the money as a gift?

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      Randy Godwinposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Apparently, she doesn't consider YOU a close friend.  Take her/him to small claims court.

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      double_frickposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      judge judy!
      actually my friend had some issue with her boss and he tried mercilessly to get her to go on one of those judge shows on tv. i think because he knew he would lose if the issue went to court and they (the judge shows) pay your accomodations and if you lose they pay whatever you end up owing anyway. my other friend went on as a witness and they paid him $250 just for standing there.

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      cosetteposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      i would gather all of my financial records and then pursue legal action.
      
      this is why i never loan anyone money anymore. i have in the past and got burned. now i say 'no, i don't loan (or borrow) money or things from people anymore, sorry.'
      
      you can consult a lawyer for free, or at the most, $150 for an hour of advice. good luck.

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      DGBposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      i would never , talk to them again, they are showing that they are just using you for your money and not your friendship. a real friend would give back the money . I had the same thing with one of my friends, well ex friend,... you are better than them get on with your own life rather than helping yuo soo called friend that is using you for money.

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   Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

   I tell my sons when they want something expensive, as they're old enough now and employable, meet me half way as for friends who would ask for such a large sum, no. I've had this happen also and never again. I question the genuinity of the friendship anybody asked me for large sums. it's a tough and painful lesson to learn. Sorry to hear this happened to you. ((hugs))

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   Kathryn LJposted 15 years ago

   Thanks Dame Scribe, Like you I will always veiw requests for money with deep suspicion from now on.  You kind of wonder in a case like this, about their motives all along.  Nice reply.

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   tantrumposted 15 years ago

   Close friends don't ask for money.
   If they're really close friends, you know what their problems are, and it's in you to help them or not.
   If a ' close friend' asks for money, an alarm bell should ring in your head.
   
   I don't know what would I do, as it never happened to me.
   I would be mad as hell !

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      Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      To be honest, its not the money that bothers me, its being used by someone who professed to care about me.  It makes me feel like a complete idiot and makes me question my judgement.  She's taken a lot more than money.

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         TheVerbalAxiomposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Don't get emotional, get even.
         
         *hands some explosives*
         
         You know what to do young Jedi.

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   TheVerbalAxiomposted 15 years ago

   This is what explosives are for.

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      Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I've done my best to have a great life since, its the best form of revenge.  Who am I kidding, serving a writ and watching her face would be better.

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   EmpressFelicityposted 15 years ago

   I notice you're from the UK - have you thought of going to your local Citizens' Advice Bureau?

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      Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, I've taken free legal advice and the small claims court would be the way to go.  what I haven't mentioned so far is the dam woman is a social worker!

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         EmpressFelicityposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I probably wouldn't do this because I'm a bit of a wimp lol... but what about dropping a note to the local authority she works for?

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            Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            My husband did!  They were concerned and interveiwed her.  She then wrote a threatening letter on Social Service headed note paper to me!!!  She's got a face that would stand clogging.

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               EmpressFelicityposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but what could she threaten you with?
               
               It does sound as if you are dealing with a totally unreasonable person so if you want to see the money again, the small claims court is your only (legal) option.  Scary that someone like her should be doing a job like social work.

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                  Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Basically she said I had given her the money as a gift and that contacting her place of work was an agressive and malicious act.  She also claimed that my attempts to speak to her about the matter were harrassment and that her kids lived in fear of me and that if I tried to contact her again, she would be informing the police.  To be honest, I was completely gobsmacked.  Unreasonable is an understatement.

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                     EmpressFelicityposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Eeek!  Yep, looks as though you'll have to go the official route (and not communicate with her directly again), with an attitude of "hope for the best, expect the worst", and a resolution never to lend money to anyone again.

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                        Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                        Yeah, think your right.  I don't live in the same country as her now, so not likely to bump into her.  You live and learn.  Thanks for your interest, its nice to know other people would react in the same way as I have.  Don't feel like such a plank now.

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   Sa Toyaposted 15 years ago

   Legal action is totally the way forward. Gather all documents together...Do you have anything written down showing it was a loan NOT a gift. This would help.
   
   A large amount of money, most courts would hardly expect it to be a gift unless you're minted and worth millions.
   Also depends on the country you're in I studied Law in England.
   
   It is worth legal action for sure. Go get your money baby!
   
   It's rough I've had a friend totally screw me over before not monetarily but emotionally and mentally...keep your head up...
   
   If legal action is too much of a hassle consider it a life lesson learned besides Karma is a bigger bitch than you have to be

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      Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      thinking of going down the Karma road but do have a file full of proof that the money was a loan and that she used emotional blackmail to get it, just in case I change my mind.

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         Hmrjmr1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         In that case Nuke her till she glows in the dark!
         Then do the Karma Road....

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      Hmrjmr1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Chin Up Lass Sa Toya's got it nailed

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         Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Love your photo and thanks for your comments, feel better already.

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   Randy Godwinposted 15 years ago

   i have loaned money to people who I hope do not pay me back.  It's worth it, in some cases, not to have to see them anymore!

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      Kathryn LJposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      LOL , you crazy person.

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