What would you do?

Jump to Last Post 1-10 of 10 discussions (15 posts)
  1. Fenixfan profile image95
    Fenixfanposted 8 years ago

    Some people don't have to deal with divorce or betrayal by their significant other. The reason I am posting this topic is to gather the opinions on what you would do. Let's say you catch your spouse in the arms of another. You have put away everything and everyone you have known throughout your life to make a home and family. You have moved to another place far from any associates because you loved your spouse so much and wanted to give them the best of the best. What would you do if it were all ripped away from you? It could happen even though we don't want it to. I've experienced it. I went from a great job, with great standing to a job I despised and was a lowly sales associate. If such a fate fell upon you, what would you do to recover and find that happiness again. Better yet, why would you want to risk starting over. Let's say you have wasted 5 years of your time. Would it not seem that you are starting yet another relationship that has the possibility of failing. I'm looking for advice. Please only post if you have valuable information that individuals, who are faced with this disappointment, can use. I can always use guidance.

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
      prettydarkhorseposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      First your life was not wasted, sp. if you had children with her. Learn the lesson and move on, it is easier said than done, but it can be done...next time it will be better, PROMISE...

  2. aware profile image65
    awareposted 8 years ago

    10 year vet  2 young kids . Then came to know that monogamy is a myth. Its devastating for all esp the kids. i would not recommend it to anyone. only thing to do is  move on remain  friends . and do everything possible to  shield the kids. their the only thing that really matters.

  3. couturepopcafe profile image60
    couturepopcafeposted 8 years ago

    No time is ever wasted.  You have learned something about yourself, no doubt.  Now, chose to move past that experience.  Don't let the experience become your present and your future.  Most of us hold on to our bad experiences so that they have a hold on our present.  Remember the good, let go of the bad.  Best wishes.

  4. Fenixfan profile image95
    Fenixfanposted 8 years ago

    You are all right about the time not being wasted. It is a very valuable and humbling lesson to learn. I was lucky enough not to have to bear putting kids through this strain. I do wonder what happened to for better or for worse. In my opinion it is too easy to get a divorce these days. But then again, who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. I appreciate all of your inputs.

  5. b. Malin profile image70
    b. Malinposted 8 years ago

    I went through a similar experience many years ago.  I gave up a "political career" to move with my then husband to another state where he had job waiting for him.  I was to find out that he also had a girlfriend there...the kids were old enough to be ok (one in college and the other starting).  We had also bought a home...which of course had to be sold.  I had to find a job out of my field.

    But in the end....I did  find a job...more than once...began to date...it was fun...made new friends, and eventually met a nice guy and got married.  So you could say things worked out...it was certainly a "growing experience.

    Today, I am still happily married going on 20 years....My EX..He's divorced.

    1. Fenixfan profile image95
      Fenixfanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Wow. That gives me hope for a better tomorrow for sure. I guess the world has a way of weeding out the ones who don't belong. I'm hoping this is the case for me also.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        If that's you in the avatar, I'm available.  Too soon?  Kidding, really, kidding.  If it is you, I'm old enough to be your .....ok, we'll say mother.

        1. Fenixfan profile image95
          Fenixfanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          Haha, thank you for the kind remarks. I am in the midst of talking with someone now. Has taken a while, but it seems like it's going to be worth it. And we are only as old as we feel anyway.

  6. donotfear profile image88
    donotfearposted 8 years ago

    You've had an emotional injury. Let the process of healing begin. You are alive, you will survive. Also know that it won't always hurt this bad. You'll come out of it stronger. You'll be able to pick up on the sensitivities of others much easier.

    The best encouragement I can give is to live your life the best you can for yourself. Grow to love yourself in every aspect. Know that you can indeed be a whole person without a significant other.

  7. donotfear profile image88
    donotfearposted 8 years ago

    Uh, fenixfan.....
    have you ever thought about applying for Survivor?

    1. Fenixfan profile image95
      Fenixfanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I didn't apply for survivor, but I did send in a video for real world. Didn't receive any notification though. Reckon Mississippi wasn't interesting enough for them. smile

  8. fucsia profile image60
    fucsiaposted 8 years ago

    I do not like the way you say, "You have wasted 5 years of your time". I believe that all experiences teach us something and it never lost time. My advice is to try to understand what happened inside you and  in your relation. Try to see your mistakes and correct them, if you can. So you can face another relation with more confidence in yourself. If you have made choices in life to love,are not mistakes: they are choices made for love. Even if your love is dramatically finished, it is always love. This is the right attitude... This is my thought

  9. rebekahELLE profile image86
    rebekahELLEposted 8 years ago

    I think you're going to find that life has a way of rewarding you in ways you could never imagine. You have children from the relationship, experienced love, sacrificed for love.. now the next chapter begins. good luck and enjoy it. keep yourself healthy and move forward, spend time with good friends/family. smile

  10. profile image0
    Home Girlposted 8 years ago

    Stupid experiences are a waste of time. It took me almost 30 years and a tragedy to realize that I've been married to a wrong guy. Now it is too late. That part of my soul is dead. I can not fall in love anymore.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)