What would you do?

1. 77

   Fenixfanposted 13 years ago

   Some people don't have to deal with divorce or betrayal by their significant other. The reason I am posting this topic is to gather the opinions on what you would do. Let's say you catch your spouse in the arms of another. You have put away everything and everyone you have known throughout your life to make a home and family. You have moved to another place far from any associates because you loved your spouse so much and wanted to give them the best of the best. What would you do if it were all ripped away from you? It could happen even though we don't want it to. I've experienced it. I went from a great job, with great standing to a job I despised and was a lowly sales associate. If such a fate fell upon you, what would you do to recover and find that happiness again. Better yet, why would you want to risk starting over. Let's say you have wasted 5 years of your time. Would it not seem that you are starting yet another relationship that has the possibility of failing. I'm looking for advice. Please only post if you have valuable information that individuals, who are faced with this disappointment, can use. I can always use guidance.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      First your life was not wasted, sp. if you had children with her. Learn the lesson and move on, it is easier said than done, but it can be done...next time it will be better, PROMISE...

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   awareposted 13 years ago

   10 year vet  2 young kids . Then came to know that monogamy is a myth. Its devastating for all esp the kids. i would not recommend it to anyone. only thing to do is  move on remain  friends . and do everything possible to  shield the kids. their the only thing that really matters.

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3. 60

   couturepopcafeposted 13 years ago

   No time is ever wasted.  You have learned something about yourself, no doubt.  Now, chose to move past that experience.  Don't let the experience become your present and your future.  Most of us hold on to our bad experiences so that they have a hold on our present.  Remember the good, let go of the bad.  Best wishes.

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4. 77

   Fenixfanposted 13 years ago

   You are all right about the time not being wasted. It is a very valuable and humbling lesson to learn. I was lucky enough not to have to bear putting kids through this strain. I do wonder what happened to for better or for worse. In my opinion it is too easy to get a divorce these days. But then again, who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. I appreciate all of your inputs.

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   b. Malinposted 13 years ago

   I went through a similar experience many years ago.  I gave up a "political career" to move with my then husband to another state where he had job waiting for him.  I was to find out that he also had a girlfriend there...the kids were old enough to be ok (one in college and the other starting).  We had also bought a home...which of course had to be sold.  I had to find a job out of my field.
   
   But in the end....I did  find a job...more than once...began to date...it was fun...made new friends, and eventually met a nice guy and got married.  So you could say things worked out...it was certainly a "growing experience.
   
   Today, I am still happily married going on 20 years....My EX..He's divorced.

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      Fenixfanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Wow. That gives me hope for a better tomorrow for sure. I guess the world has a way of weeding out the ones who don't belong. I'm hoping this is the case for me also.

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         couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         If that's you in the avatar, I'm available.  Too soon?  Kidding, really, kidding.  If it is you, I'm old enough to be your .....ok, we'll say mother.

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            Fenixfanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Haha, thank you for the kind remarks. I am in the midst of talking with someone now. Has taken a while, but it seems like it's going to be worth it. And we are only as old as we feel anyway.

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   donotfearposted 13 years ago

   You've had an emotional injury. Let the process of healing begin. You are alive, you will survive. Also know that it won't always hurt this bad. You'll come out of it stronger. You'll be able to pick up on the sensitivities of others much easier.
   
   The best encouragement I can give is to live your life the best you can for yourself. Grow to love yourself in every aspect. Know that you can indeed be a whole person without a significant other.

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7. 84

   donotfearposted 13 years ago

   Uh, fenixfan.....
   have you ever thought about applying for Survivor?

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      Fenixfanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I didn't apply for survivor, but I did send in a video for real world. Didn't receive any notification though. Reckon Mississippi wasn't interesting enough for them.

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   fucsiaposted 13 years ago

   I do not like the way you say, "You have wasted 5 years of your time". I believe that all experiences teach us something and it never lost time. My advice is to try to understand what happened inside you and  in your relation. Try to see your mistakes and correct them, if you can. So you can face another relation with more confidence in yourself. If you have made choices in life to love,are not mistakes: they are choices made for love. Even if your love is dramatically finished, it is always love. This is the right attitude... This is my thought

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   I think you're going to find that life has a way of rewarding you in ways you could never imagine. You have children from the relationship, experienced love, sacrificed for love.. now the next chapter begins. good luck and enjoy it. keep yourself healthy and move forward, spend time with good friends/family.

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10. 0

    Home Girlposted 13 years ago

    Stupid experiences are a waste of time. It took me almost 30 years and a tragedy to realize that I've been married to a wrong guy. Now it is too late. That part of my soul is dead. I can not fall in love anymore.

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