When you realized you were in love, true love, how did it come about or how did you know for sure?
Was it love at first sight? Was it slowly realized over time through a friendship that developed into love? Was it an overwhelming feeling in your heart that you just could not explain that you have never felt with anyone else? Did your heart beat faster when you were around the one? Were you just goo-goo eyed over the person ...? In other words, how did you know it was true love and not just a crush? What were your physical symptoms, if any? Did you ever believe you were in love, true love, until one day you met someone else and then felt something you never felt before? Thanks!
Excellent question indeed, I have contemplated this significantly about my "Aine True Love." I contend it was an overwhelming feeling in our association-based brain although more commonly referred to as our "heart" that could not be explained that was unique or more significant than ever before. It did indeed manifest physically, most commonly exemplified by increased heart rate at times. A state of anxiousness would set in when we were near or in communication with each other.
I am a psychologist, thus one could argue through a psychologist-lens it was a mutual compulsion for each other. This brain-association brought euphoria to both of us and drove us to plan our lives together as much as possible. I must also mention we brought no "baggage" to this relationship. Neither of us had broken-off with significant others prior to our meeting. We had both dated; however, we were not involved in a long drawn-out relation...
I met Kate when she was 16 and I was 17 while on a 2 week vacation and by the time I arrived back home I was convinced about how unique the bond was between us. We had both dated others before; indeed, this relationship was on a higher plain then others.
I must confess, that although we were infatuated with each other; after I returned to my country I encouraged her to date others and I continued to date others to be able to compare and contrast our experience to other relationships. This simply reinforced about how unique, significant and euphoric our relationship was for both of us and convinced us to make plans to become one...
Hello Connorj, Thank you for sharing about your true love and how it came about. Wow, 16 and 17 ...that is the age I met my husband too. You were wise to date others which reinforced your love for one another. Congrats!
Yes, indeed and may your love continue on for a lifetime! So many young people are not able to discern between infatuation and true love and become disillusioned quickly. Blessings
Thank you; your significant advice to young people is timely...
Oh, actually it was you who had added that great point as relates to the young. Thank you for sharing your insight on young love and love. Blessings
It was slowly realized over time through dating/romantic courtship and NOT friendship. I've never been in a situation where I was only interested in a platonic friendship and things went from the "friend zone" to love. All of my serious relationships began with attraction.
The older and more experienced we become in relationships the better we know ourselves. Most people experience their first heartbreak in their teens or early 20s. Much of that was "infatuation" and "romantic projection". Raging hormones and the desire to be seen as adults also contributed to having unrealistic expectations.
Falling in love a second or third time is not so much about experiencing a "feeling" (you've never had before) but rather "recognizing a feeling you've had" in the past along with having a better insight into yourself with the wisdom you've gained.
During your youth you allowed "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate your relationship choices. You more or less simply "went with the flow". With relationship experience over time we develop a sort of "mate selection" process where we choose to engage with others from a point of awareness based upon the traits they display and knowing what it is we are (looking for) in a mate.
We also learn to look out for "red flags"!
Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. One man's opinion!
Hello dashingscorpio, Thank you for sharing of your experiences in finding that one true love in this life. You are so wise and I love what you have stated about the mind protecting the heart! That is a wonderful opinion which I believe is true.
Faith, my story is so unique that I will have to send you an email about it.
I'll just say that the first time I saw David Tartanian, I could feel the attraction. Immediately. I could probably write a book about it.
NOBODY can believe we are together. And I love him just as much today as I ever did. 40 years of marriage.
In the meantime I will try to answer a couple of your questions:
Yes, it WAS an overwhelming feeling in my heart that I had never felt with anyone else.
Yes, I was goo-goo eyed.
As time passed, I remember writing a letter to God, "God, I am madly in love with David Tartanian." I knew it was not a crush.
The love I had for Dave was something I had not felt before.
I cannot begin to describe the physical feelings, I cannot put it into words. I only remember that when we started dating, I could think of nothing else all day. I longed for it to be the time he would be picking me up.
When we ate at a restaurant, we would sit in a booth...both on the same side.
In the car I sat next to him. Seat belts were not a law then.
We held hands every minute.
When I was with him, the weather did not matter.
Pouring rain? Gloom? No problem, I was with the man I loved. He was my total world, I loved him that much.
Two years ago when I was so sick in the hospital, I remember my husband walking into the room and I looked at him as he laid his coat down. My heart spoke, but I couldn't in my weakness...it said, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
As I lay in bed and he sat next to me, Thanksgiving day,-holding my hand - (I could not eat as I had a nasal gastric tube in my stomach), I asked him, 'honey, what do you want for Christmas?' Tears streamed down his face and he replied, "All I want for Christmas is for you to get well."
And I did. And here we are.
Blessings, Sparklea Great question
Hi Sparklea, You should write a book about finding your one true love! Thank you for sharing your magical story here. So, lovely and it is obvious he adores you so much to this day. Congrats on the 40 years of a loving marriage!!!
Sparklea, you found your true soulmate. Not everyone is so fortunate. Sometimes we have to have several trial-and-errors before that happens. Congratulations to you and your husband.
Thank you Faith and Mizbejabbers: I MAY write a book, people can't believe my story when I tell them! Blessings, Sparklea
When I was dating Mr. B. he had a heart attack at age 38. While he was in the hospital, I got some of his friends together and we moved him in with me. He was bewildered, astounded, and I'm happy to say, pleased.
Mizbejabbers: how heartwarming is that? I bet he healed quickly!
Thank you for the extra sharing here, MizB! How lovely!
You're on the romantic plane, I see. Ha ha.
I was married to a woman that I went to school with. I felt a kind of loyalty and respect which I still hold today, even though we are not together.
When I became awakened in the Spirit, it was totally different and it was rather like having a mist removed from before me. No more fog, but a realisation of life's purpose and a universal approach to love. I do not know - marriage or no marriage - that I can now see it any other way.
Still, I do stress that there is only Love, and it is as necessary in the human form as the Divine. Sweet question, my Sweet Friend.
Tee hee, Manatita, Yes, I am in the Valentine's Day mode or Love mode and so I thought I would pose this question now. We can have loyalty and respect, but if you are not together then it was not true love and meant to be. Yes, Love is Divine!!!
It was truly love at first sight. The birds seem to sing a little louder, the sky seemed so much clearer, my heart actually hurt when we were apart. Yes, it was true love at first sight.
Hi AC-DC, Oh, how wonderful ... we have a love at first sight! The heart knows best it seems.
Very good question. I knew because it hurt so damned bad when he broke up with me. It was our freshman year in college and he had chased me since the ninth grade. I didn't return the affection, but I finally agreed to go out with him just before the first semester started. I knew that I cared about him and that it was turning into love, but then he unexpectedly said that we were getting too serious and broke things off after 10 months. It took me two marriages and too many years to get over that. So I guess I really loved him.
Hi MizB, Ouch ... bless your heart. Yes, if there is a breakup and it is no big deal, then not true love. So, must have been the real deal for you. That is a hard reality to endure there. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Faith, as much as I love my husband, my knees still knocked the last time I saw him at a senior class reunion, and I avoided him the rest of the evening.
BTW, Mr. B and I met on Valentine's Day 1983, and he is also a soul mate. I've met 3.
Wow, MizB, that is something for your knees to still knock! I am glad you have Mr. B now, number three soul mate. You have known love in this life no doubt. Blessings to you and Mr. B. Maybe the knee knocker regrets letting you go ...
Jackie that is easy to believe , but doing further research , notice this scripture. Re 20:14 And death and the Grave were hurled into the lake of fire. This means the second death, the lake of fire.
Can you throw death or grave in fire?
In my younger days, I worked at a fitness club. I was teaching one of my aerobics classes when David walked in and my eyes locked onto David's bright blue eyes. My heart actually fluttered. That answers the question. (smile) I'll leave out the story of the romance. But, I will say David and I have been married for 27 years.
Woo, Marlene, ... Those blue eyes making your heart flutter! Sounds like love at first sight to me and how beautiful you have been married to mister blue eyes for 27 years! I hope your heart still flutters. Congrats!
Hi Faith Reaper, yes, my heart still flutters. It really does. He is soooooo wonderful. I can't imagine being with anyone else.
Aw, how sweet, and I was hoping you would return to share exactly that with us all! He is blessed to have you too, lovely lady. May God continue to bless you both.
Thank you Faith Reaper. Yes. We are all blessed.
What a lovely question and thanks for taking me back to those sweet memories.
I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, when I met my love, (now my husband,) but definitely there was some fondness, some attraction for each other. I was with my parents and we kept on talking on various topics and perhaps started enjoying each other's company.
Ours is an arranged marriage but as far as love is concerned, it has grown and matured, rather deeper and stronger in these 30 years. We are more like friends and companions.
Thanks for asking this interesting question!
Hi Chitrangada Sharan, Wow, that is so wonderful, especially being an arranged marriage! So glad there you enjoyed each other's company from the start. Yes, when two go through life together, the bond is even stronger. Blessings to you and yours
Jackie Jesus always used illustrations to teach.
Mt 13:34 All these things Jesus spoke to the crowds by illustrations. Indeed, without an illustration he would not speak to them,
This also applies to the example of burning something not to return.
i found my love when we worked together, through hardship and misunderstanding, we learn to trust and love
Hi peachpurple, Yes, it seems when we go through life's trials and tribulations together and made it through, then the bond is even stronger and you grow that much closer to one another. So glad a workplace romance worked out! Blessings
I had seen the girl, I had talked to the girl. However, I never considered her my type,actually I did not like her. Everyone said she will be a perfect partner for me. I was still in confusion when I was engaged to her according to Hindu rituals. When I met her second time after the engagement, I felt something which I had never felt. I was in love.
Hi Vinaya, So great to see you here. Wow, that is really something to go from not liking her to being in love. I am so glad it worked out for you both! Peace and blessings
When I met my wife, there was no spark. No butterflies in my stomach. We didn't make an instant connection. It was almost disappointing to me because my friends were on vacation visiting me and had brought this girl who they thought I would really like. The first day, my buddy and I went out so I could show him around. When we got back, I hooked up the old N64. Turns out this girl they brought liked video games, especially older ones. So I played Super Smash Bros with her. It got heated, she kept pushing me so she could win, we got to flirting. Bam. That spark happened.
To this day, I still don't know exactly what it was that made things go from "we could be good friends" to "wow, this girl is the one I want to marry" but I'm so glad it happened.
We had 1 week together before she and my friends left to go home, 1000 miles away. We stayed up late at night talking, we went to the beach, she took an interest in my working on my car, all that good stuff. At the end of the week, she decided she was going to move to the area. A huge risk on her part. Her brother despised me and disowned her for some time. I couldn't believe she had just uprooted her entire life for me, a guy she had known for a week. She knew I loved working on my car, playing video games, maintaining the yard, relaxing at the beach, and what I'd told her about my life. With just that little bit, she took the leap and moved a thousand miles to give things a shot with me.
A year and a half later I proposed. A year after that, we were married.
She is the woman of my dreams. She supports my countless hobbies, puts up with my shenanigans, loves my cooking, brags about me to all her coworkers, and makes me feel like the best man in the world. Since I met her my life has gone from "I have no idea what I'm going to do" to having a great job (potentially a career) where I work hard and people have noticed that I am by far the best at what I do. I have goals in my life and I continue to meet them. She drives me to be the best man I can be and I would do anything to make her happy. I love my wife.
Wow, Cobrafan, thank you for sharing your fantastic story! It is amazing how this woman has motivated you to be the best man you can be by her loving you for who you are and supporting you and building you up to all. That is how it just be!!!
love is an overwhelming feeling in your heart if your in love with someone the whole day u will be missing the person if he is not with you.you love to spend time,share some thing.if a person really loves u he cares for u and respects your feelings.
Hello shamshunissa, thank you for sharing your thoughts on love. Yes, respect is a big part of loving another one. Blessings
I have had true love twice in my lifetime so I consider myself lucky.
The first one unfortunately was cut short by his death, but I remember the feeling. It was not an immediate overwhelming attraction, but it did grow quickly as I got to know him. He was the first person who ever really "got me". There was no side of me I wouldn't show him so I knew it was real.
The second time was a bit different. Instant attraction but I was a single mom of two so I really fell for him watching him interact with my daughters. There is nothing sexier than a man loving your kids!
Hello Tamirogers, Yes, you are lucky indeed! Two true loves in a lifetime is amazing. I am sorry about your first love's death, and I am glad you still remember the feeling. Nothing better than for someone to "get you".So true, about the sexy one!
The moment I realized that I was in love was the moment I realized that the person I was spending so much time with made me feel a way no one ever did before. When I met this girl, I was hesitant, I didn't really want a relationship, mostly because I did not know what that meant, but a also was scared of commitment. After awhile I realized that if I wanted this person enough, I had to commit to them. I think once you feel that special feeling that only that person gives you, you should stick with them. However this is never something you should rush, it has to be natural.
Hello Jared, thank you so much for sharing. Yes, one cannot truly know another without spending time with him or her. That is a good way to tell about love for sure, when no one else makes you feel the way that persons does!
It came one spring evening when I met her for the first time. Our eyes met and felt in love. Not much words, just two people needing to love each other. The worst came one year later when she started to express her own inner and aberrated emotions.
That is when, what we humans know as love, came to an end. We split apart and we have not seen each other again.
Hello unvrso, thank you for sharing about your love. I am so sorry it did not last. I do hope you find love once again in this life. Blessings
Thanks! I´m not looking for that kind of love. I think I´ve had enough of it.
When the howdy duties were out of the way I fell madly in love twice. I was aroused and overwhelmed with a sense of love. My first resulted in a wonderful 13 years of marriage. My second is years over a decade of marital happiness. Four wonderful children.
At about a year into love I found true love. At about 5 years I found a sense of peace and happiness. At ten years I found even more.
Both of mine would be called love at first sight. At least a real sight.
Giddiness and heart palpitations. The world spinning out of control. Extreme, almost OCD need to be near. Every waking thought and every dream. Boyo boyo that first part of love is amazing.
And then low and behold for me, it struck again and again. The more I got to know the more I loved and the more I do love.
I am a man and women are still a mystery to me as they should be. In my marriage every day is fresh with me alternatively scratching my head and smiling a mile wide grin.
Love at first sight reminds me of last night when she came home late from working and our child and us reveled in the joy of love between us.
Oh I reckon that I no longer get butterflies much, and I do not go crazy. But if it were not for my age, I would. Oh bull, I still do as she makes me feel like I am young again and worthy of such love in return.
The moment I met him, there was an attraction/connection. We're the perfect example of how opposites attract, there was just something about him that was different from any other guy that I've met but I couldn't explain it, at first I used infatuation as a justification for my feelings.
I didn't even think about the subject of love until one day my old boss and I were having a conversation about the people we were seeing. My boss had asked me if I loved him, and that's the first time I've been left speechless, I told him we hadn't said it to each other yet, but at that very moment I realized that I did love him, my heart and bran finally clicked with one another.
This is a love that I've never experienced before, it's unique, special and I am very fortunate to have experienced it. It's truly one of a kind because this type of love and connection really doesn't come around everyday. And as corny as this sounds, I never really believed in soul mates until I met him. I actually believe that we are meant to be together and I only hope and pray that this lasts forever.
Side Note: It's quite amusing actually, maybe 6-7 years ago while I was in a committed relationship with another man, my coworker randomly asked me to physically describe the perfect man that I'd want to be with if I had a choice. I actually went into detail describing the hair, eyes, height, race, speech, everything. It didn't hit me till later, but I realized that the love of my life matched all those qualities described, a bit freaky how that happened!
Thanks for asking this question and allowing me to share my love experience with you all!
Hi, Marc answering on behalf of Chari and myself (picture). Both of just sensed what was happening right from the start. It really became apparent something life changing had happened after we parted company. A strong sensation overwhelmed me like a void in my soul. That's when the realization came that I had met my soul mate. In the movies it is sometimes called 'chemistry', and we can attest to that. There was energy and endorphins flying all over the place when we met, and we still inspire a mutual sparkle in each other to this day.
by alisha4u 11 years ago
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