When is a friend a friend, Who would you call your friend eventually?

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  1. uche_n2a profile image59
    uche_n2aposted 12 years ago

    At what point would you graduate an acquaintance to a friend; when would you consider someone to have truly earned your friendship trust? When would you say wholeheartedly that someone is your truly tested and trusted friend? Who would you call your friend eventually? Does a friend in Need automatically translate into a friend in Deed?

    1. kimhopesmith profile image61
      kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      A True friend, is someone who is with you through it all. Someone who you and they, count on eachother for, truth, unconditional love, compassion and help.
      Many people call themselves friends, but I have found they are friends when they want something from you.
      If you are in need, they suddenly have something better to do!
      A friendship can not be a one way street, it must be almost like a partnership, two people who feel a bond that will not be broken by anything or anyone. Much like a family should be.
      I am very lucky to have my my best friend, we would honesty give our lives for eachother and that is what a True friend is, I think! Maybe I'm just spoiled. :-)

    2. Cagsil profile image71
      Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If you have no trust, then you have no friendship.
      This question is foolish. Simply because, actions speak volumes and if you have preset perimeters for friendships, then you obviously don't understand friendships and have bigger issues.
      Again, this falls in line with my previous statement(sentence).
      No. Because the needs of one individual doesn't make a person a friend to begin with. wink

    3. profile image0
      DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I trust a person when they prove to be trustworthy. I call a person friend when I know I can be myself and they accept it, good or bad. "a friend in need" thing doesnt make sense to me. I can prove myself to be a friend when someone else is in need, but there being in need does not make them my friend.

    4. profile image0
      James Agbogunposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It should be clear that, Response could extend to the content and quality of our other activities. It is not sufficient to get all the applause even when we are on a path to derail. While we should easily feel bad, it might be helpful if we resolve to continue to improve with time.

  2. knolyourself profile image60
    knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

    Everybody is my friend until and if someone does some kind of incompatibility to my being. If I tell them the problem and they persist, it is Vaya con Dios, if it is a physical relationship,
    as opposed to something like the two dimensional
    context of the Internet.

  3. profile image0
    ahorsebackposted 12 years ago

    As you age you will find that friends , true friends are rare , one, two , maybe three in a lifetime ! All Aquaintances aren't friends ,  Knowing arrives at a point when you say ,wow,  he's always been there ! Or , she's been in my life thick and thin!

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think you're right.

  4. uche_n2a profile image59
    uche_n2aposted 12 years ago

    Hello Cagsil, thanks for your reply but the question is not meant for people whose reply give away as being insecure or people who have completely lost their manners especially on social media network. Your saying "This question is foolish" tries to set you up for a "Know-all" person when in actual fact you tone speaks of someone utterly opposite. I would rather you don't insult people engaging in here and please go and re-read and properly what has being discussed here and do not answer off point. This forum is a discussion area and if it as much as sets you off, then I think you are in the wrong platform.

    1. kimhopesmith profile image61
      kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank You unche_n2a
      Your comment sums up my feeling also.
      I have been on HubPages for a while and most people here are very kind and suportive of others, thats why it such a nice place to come to and share our inner most feelings and thoughts.
      It is not a place for bitterness or anger, there is enough of that elsewhere in our world, We need to have somewhere to come that is safe to ask questions and share our thoughts.
      Thank You again for sticking up to a bully!

    2. Cagsil profile image71
      Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your question isn't stated for a social media network. It's too generalized.
      Actually, your mistaken generalization is what brought forth my comment.
      Ineptitude? No insult was made. You must be reading something not said, which means you have bigger issues.
      You assume too much. lol

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        howdy freind.  wink

      2. kimhopesmith profile image61
        kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Your profile says you help people, yet, you have made a rude comment, when you said this question is foolish. People who truely help people in the world, would never say a question is foolish!
        The most educated people in the world with tell you there are no foolish questions! The real fools are those who don't ask!
        You also stated, his question isn't for social media, any time two or more people can interact on a website, such as we are doing now, is social media.
        After reading your profile, I have the feeling you are a very young person, someone who doesn't know how to answer these indepth questions, so you call the one asking the question foolish, this is what children or inmature people, normally do.
        If it is your goal to help people in life, you must learn, making fun of others is not helping.

  5. relache profile image73
    relacheposted 12 years ago

    People who I know online and have never or will never meet in person will never be considered friends.  I have to know and interact with someone and have shared a variety of experiences before I will consider someone a casual friend. 

    The handful of true friends in my life are amazing people who don't just care about our relationship when we are interacting.  They care about my entire life and being, as I care about them and theirs.

  6. Cardisa profile image90
    Cardisaposted 12 years ago

    For me friendships are based on a special connection made between two people. You do not necessarily have to know each other a long time to establish a friendship or become close. I could know you for ten years but the friendship doesn't bud, and there is the case where I have known you five minutes and we hit it off.

    As you put it "graduating from acquaintance to being called a friend", is not something that people consciously think about doing. Gaining a friend is a lot like falling in love, it happens before you know it.

    1. kimhopesmith profile image61
      kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ,That's awesome, It is like falling in love, it just happens.
      I have a metal sign that says, "Love is a friendship, set on Fire"!

      1. Cardisa profile image90
        Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        That is a great sign. It says it all and if the person you love isn't your friend then you need to fall out of love. There are times when spouse and friends compete for your attention because spouse get jealous or the other way round. The two are definitely similar.

        1. kimhopesmith profile image61
          kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Cardisa, They certainly are very similar. My ex-husband was always jealous of any friends I had, but he didn't want to be friends with me or anyone else. (except his mistress of course) hahah!

          1. Cardisa profile image90
            Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            My fiance' banned my best friend from calling too much, well my best friend is male. My friend pretends not to be jealous, he says he understand why my fiance is jealous but I see it kills him every time we sneak a little time together. He was the one who saved me from a nervous breakdown and helped me through my depression.

            1. kimhopesmith profile image61
              kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

              That is awesome. My best friend is also male and his wife hates me and my ex hated him, but when my ex left with is mistress after I had liver sergury, my best friend was always there for me, through the nervous breakdown, depression and the recovery of the sergury and emotional pain.
              I have always been there for him also, no matter what he ever needed or where he is. If he asks me to wake him up at 2:am because he has to go somewhere, I call him at 2:Am no matter how tired I am (and he's not at all nice to wake up! hehehe!)
              I think people can have a soul mate, even if your not intimate. It's just a feeling that life is not right without the other person. I feel lost when I can't call him to talk about stupid stuff. He feels the same.
              It's an amazing feeling!

  7. kimhopesmith profile image61
    kimhopesmithposted 12 years ago

    Thank you for posting this question.
    It really makes you think about friendship in a much deeper way than you normally would.
    Thank you for making me "feel" how important my best friend is in my life!

  8. uche_n2a profile image59
    uche_n2aposted 12 years ago

    Hello Kim
    Thanks for participating. The true thanks is not for me but to you and all the contributor who have unreservedly helped us all examine what being a friend is and how different people see it, come to it, and accept it.

    It's so easy for someone to assume, @ Cagsil, by saying the question is "Foolish" but  their tone give them away as being petty and rude; yet this discussion has raised concerned eye brows as to how different people assume what friendship means in their world.

    Permit me to say that various issues raised here pertaining to being a friend and its impact in our lives are truly revealing and informative as to how one can go about handling similar circumstances if it come knocking on their door.

    I believe in discussing and exploring as one's world doe not mean same in the whole world but as we associate, discuss, disagree and eventual analysis definitely lead us to an agreeable ground.

    1. kimhopesmith profile image61
      kimhopesmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with your statement complety. I feel some people @Cagsil go through life, with very shallow emotions, this may be caused from past pains, or a narcissitic belief in ones own ability to be superior to others in the way of emotional insight.
      I have lived with many horrific things being forced apon me over the course of my life, but although others can hurt and cause great pain, without a simple thought, I have chosen to become a more empathetic and sympathetic soul.
      The belief in discussion and exploration in which you speak of, is the most important factor in human growth, without these factors we would not have medical treatments, no medications and our farms would close in cold weather.
      When a person says something is foolish, are the too nieve to delve deeper into the process of discovery or are they are they too closed minded to think it is important for their personal growth and the well being of others around them?
      Either way I believe they are the only ones who are missing the true meaning of life, by not asking the "deep" questions or contemplating the true meaning of friendship, they will never have true friends, although they are so self centered, they will not notice!
      Thank You Again


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