How often can one forgive someone, not family related, for disrespecting you for no apparent reason or fault of your own? I have a co-worker who has on three separate occasions taken his frustrations out on me at work and today I witnessed him verbally abusing another co-worker and even cursing at her. I have already decided to cut all ties but she has a hard time doing the same.
It sounds more like a job issue than a personal one. I told a friend today she was looking for a job when she found the one she is working at. If the higher ups are aware this kind of behavior is happening and allowing it chances are you would be better of working elsewhere. If not
There have been cases in my life when I worked with crews. One I remember I was sent in to replace a man who had killed a worker from a crew who was competition.
It didn't take long to figure out it was the crew chief was who caused the fight. He was one way when the higher ups were around and another when they were gone. I knew all of the higher ups from previous experience. They asked me to maneuver this man into a position they would be able to hear and see him after "he thought they had left". Well I made him so mad he struck at me. If he had known as the higher ups did who he was dealing with chances are he wouldn't have made that mistake. Within a second he was pinned face down in the dirt. It is important to know this man was six inches taller and weighed at least 50 pounds more than I did. When the higher ups walked back within site he was still threatening to kill me. He was fired on the spot. The moral of the story is maneuver this person to where the higher ups will hear. It should solve your problem.
...sounds like your co-worker doesn't like their job...and i imagine they probably don't contain themselves outside of work either...sometimes folks need a wake up call....speak your mind with your co-worker - privately though and let them know that you've no time for their sh*t (nicer play on words) and unless they have something good to say to you then refrain from saying anything and leave it at that...they may come around and realize how they've been acting and if they don't...well, it's not your problem, it's theirs.
Under no circumstance is this behavior acceptable in any relationship. It is easy to take ones frustration out on someone who is unable to demand respect. Some of us will be able to take this situation in stride and take steps to resolve the problem. Other individuals will be confused by this behavior and internalize the agony making their life miserable. Never lose eye contact with someone that behaves like this because it is a sign of weakness (an easy target). Let them know that you do not appreciate being spoken to in this manner. If it continues you will not respond and you would really hate to have that happen. Since this is a co-worker, remind them that this is a team and we all need to work together. Ask if there is something that you could do to help them during this time of frustration. Many times this type of person will back down, but if they do not then it is time to start documenting and scheduling an appointment with management. Remember, not one individual should have this type of power over you, so be strong and take care of business. - Sabrina Tells All -
I hope you are in a good work place, if its hostile take your time in documentation and always make copies if you file a complaint. Insure it goes to someone who secures it right away. I would not confront the person but pick a third party who is reliable and emphasize that you our only concerned at this time. These things can take a life of their own. He may protect himself, enlist friends and if you scare those above you they might want to destroy everyone to make the problem disappear. Never assume that people will want to do the right thing. A company with issues is putting out fires and not fixing the problem and you our just adding to the list and you have no idea if there is a list at all. Once they make you leave you will have no access to witnesses, paper work and everything will vanish with out a lawyer. Sadly, sometimes you have no choice but to take it if you do not have good leadership, unless you are completely sure that it can be resolved in your favour. I wish it was not like this but its a nightmare out there and employees come last.
if this person is continually acting in such a manner towards a persons of the opposite sex and or of different religions/nationalities it can be deemed as harassment- (This is from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission)
Harassment is unwelcome conduct that is based on race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information. Harassment becomes unlawful where 1) enduring the offensive conduct becomes a condition of continued employment, or 2) the conduct is severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or abusive. Anti-discrimination laws also prohibit harassment against individuals in retaliation for filing a discrimination charge, testifying, or participating in any way in an investigation, proceeding, or lawsuit under these laws; or opposing employment practices that they reasonably believe discriminate against individuals, in violation of these laws.
Petty slights, annoyances, and isolated incidents (unless extremely serious) will not rise to the level of illegality. To be unlawful, the conduct must create a work environment that would be intimidating, hostile, or offensive to reasonable people.
Offensive conduct may include, but is not limited to, offensive jokes, slurs, epithets or name calling, physical assaults or threats, intimidation, ridicule or mockery, insults or put-downs, offensive objects or pictures, and interference with work performance.
We all know what harassment is and what are rights our but even the Supreme court told 1.2 million women where to go. None of us want to believe that a company would not do the right thing. There are countless web sites filled with people who believed that to.
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