Is it over?

1. 66

   PaulaHenry1posted 12 years ago

   Alright Hubber Family....spill it~ brutal honesty and all.
   I met a man online. We met and went out for drinks,dinner two days later,drinks again that weekend and dinner and movie after that. Now...we had possible plans that next Wed that didnt work out because he worked late. So we thought about last Friday while his daughter was at a party we could do dinner. He NEVER called. So I called him to see what was up. He said his friend stopped by and he should've called and was sorry. So I call again this morning because we are spose to be going out Sat for drinks and I wanted to confirm. He says his daughters car died and would be out of town this weekend to find a new one.
   I straight up asked him this morning if he wanted to stop this thing we started and he was like "no..no" I've just been busy.
   Am I hounding this guy and should walk away or over analyzing this? I really like him. He treated me nicer and with more respect in those first couple dates than my last 6 year relationship. Am I just over-reacting or do you think he'll still pursue me?
   Help Hubbers!!!

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2. 60

   Sheila Leeposted 12 years ago

   Give him a chance to pursue you. If you keep calling he'll think you're stalking him or desperate. Desperation is very unattractive to men. Let him chase you. And if he doesn't, then you'll know he's lost interest. Don't call him for a week and see what happens. If there is nothing from him, let it go and move on. It almost sounds like he's stringing you along. That is just my opinion.

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   1. 66

      PaulaHenry1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It's so pathetic, but it's hard not to call when you want the possibility so badly. I'll be good and let it go. If he wants to see me he will call. I just am impatient and hate not knowing what happened. I am straight up and always expect the other to be as well...silly me.

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      1. 83

         karthikkashposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         it is natural that you start missing that person. But yeah, as Sheila said, that is the only way you can know whether he is leading you on or if he is genuinely interested. Don't call him till he calls you back. Let him give you a few calls. If he isn't doing that, then he has lost interest. Just move on.
         
         This what I did with one of my friends I dated some time ago. I felt that she was losing interest in me. I just pulled out for some time and did not get in touch with her in any form. She called me back after 10 days, I still didn't pick up calls from her for a couple of times. Only after that I started to get back to her. Pulling back always works in knowing whether the other person is interested in you or not. Hope that helps.

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3. 84

   donotfearposted 12 years ago

   Don't call him!  People make a way to do what they want to do.  If he's interested, he'll call.  If not, then you know he's not wanting to pursue it further. Just don't make it look as though you are anxious to hear from him.  I do think it was rude not to notify you just because "his friend came over...."   How thoughtful was that?   If he's matter of fact like this all the time, you don't want somebody like him, in my opinion.

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4. 41

   pharuk temmy tposted 12 years ago

   Paula its not over, but I will like to put you into an observation about your attention to him,you are being to forward and sound despirate...you shouldn't be doing all that being a lady, a man should be after you and not you running after him and chasing him with phone calls... If he cares no matter how busy he could be,to pick his phone and call you is the easiest he can do if he cares the same way you do,that means there is no equality...let him hunt you..if he does then you will know its just the begining but if he doesn't then I guess its over and you should be happy he has shown you the real him before its going to be late... So far you have got nothing to lose, have you?the right person will come your way soon.

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5. 71

   AEvansposted 12 years ago

   Let him contact you, do not call him. Of course it isn't over, but let him pursue you.

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6. 66

   PaulaHenry1posted 12 years ago

   No call yet...6 days.

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7. 60

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   No sense beating a dead horse. That tells the story. Better it ended, if indeed it has, sooner than later.

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8. 59

   kristin marhallposted 12 years ago

   do what your heart tell you, but sometimes it is good to listen to your mine to but be careful at the same time  he might got some one else too soo please be careful

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9. 56

   AngieMedinaposted 12 years ago

   My first reaction is that he is hiding something.  I personally would not call him again and let him make the next move.  If he calls you and wants to go out, go, but in the future if he keeps making excuses I would probably move on to the next guy.  He really needs to put a little more effort in.

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10. 76

    Moms-Secretposted 12 years ago

    There is nothing more exciting than possibility.  I know but so many people throw themselves into things that they could have avoided because they get anxious.  The truth is that you are still getting to know each other.  You don't know if he is Mr. Perfect-for-you yet.  That really does take months.  Right now you are both in best-foot-forward mode when you are out on dates.
    
    I am a big believer in going with the flow.  I wouldn't think to much about it.  What will be will be and what won't, well you can't change want won't be no matter what phone calls you make or how you persist.  A lot of people get so worked up about what things mean and in their need for clarity that they sabotage themselves in one way or another.  "If he is not interested, I wish he would just tell me instead of stringing me along".  I hear that a lot.  The thing is that he made no promises, so there is no stringing along.  It's the potential of what he 'could be' that is driving you nuts.
    
    Right now he is nothing more than a new friend with potential.  Treat it as such.  Also remember that potential does not equal perfect and there is usually more than one friend with potential around.
    
    Good Luck
    
    P.S. watch the movie... he's just not that into you.  Great movie on the male perspective.

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11. 66

    PaulaHenry1posted 12 years ago

    You guys are all right....especially you Moms-Secret. I am so anxious about the possibility that I probaly sabatoged it. It was just so nice to have that feeling again, you know? I am so used to playing the male role from my past relationship that I forgot to let him lead...lesson once again learned.

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    1. 76

       Moms-Secretposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Paula, you will find it soon.  Usually when you are not looking or trying.  Sometimes the real mr. perfect is shining somewhere near, but your focus on Mr. could be makes you miss it.
       
       Many Blessings.  Good luck.

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