As I survey the ashes of my burnt out life, not knowing how long the last burning ambers have left, I look back over my life not with sadness, not with regret, just a wonder did I do everything I could have done, did I help those that asked for help, did I help those that needed help but would never ask? Did I make people laugh, did I fight the right battles, did I let people down, so many questions, so many answers, I know I made mistakes, but I know I did good, I regret the good people I pushed away, thought it was for the best, but all I wanted was for people to know the real me, the one with the smile, and full of life, but as the fight fades as quick as the ashes, I hope it's not the end but only the beginning as I rise from these ashes as the phenix once did, stronger and wiser, not to look back as that history is gone, with only the future to look forward to now!
I have had the same experience: I have reacted out of what I now believe to be "immaturity" to those who may well have served to help me on my path.
I go forward nevertheless, and I cannot regret the decisions I have made. My reasoning runs thus:
Every single moment of our lives makes us the person that we are in this moment. If you are in a position to think, " I could have" or "I should have", you are equipped with the knowledge to make more informed decisions in the future. You have the tools and the knowledge to look at what surrounds you *at this moment* and determine what will be most suited to help you grow as a person.
One of my favorite quotes is (and will remain): "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Semisonic encapsulates the cycle of experience in a way I hadn't considered prior to hearing "Closing Time"... and though I tend to prefer older music, that line made its way into my brain in a way few others have managed to accomplish.
We are phoenixes every single moment... we are reborn. Yet every moment exists, whether past, present or future --- they are perfect and individual and complete. This doesn't mean that our lives are predestined -- it simply means that only *we* can make the decisions we make, that only *we* can exist as ourselves. You are the *best* you of all time because you ARE the only one to exist who is precisely YOU.
I hope I haven't rambled too much... I have enjoyed responding to this post. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you glad you liked it, hope many others enjoy it too x
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